


Extreme Consequences

by Dylan_Black, MeirhaBlack



Series: Extreme Consequences Universe [1]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 天地無用! | Tenchi Muyo!
Genre: F/F, F/M, Harry Gave me a House, Harry in the Background, Harry's Brilliant Revenge!, Hermione gets a House Elf, I'm related to who!, Multi, Questionable decorating choices, Teens behaving badly, Tonks takes out the Dark Lord...No Really.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-27 05:19:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 76,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10802565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dylan_Black/pseuds/Dylan_Black, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeirhaBlack/pseuds/MeirhaBlack
Summary: After the battle in the Department of Mysteries, Ron does something that causes Harry to take Extreme Measures.  Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) those extreme measures have extreme consequences.  Especially for our fearless Muggleborns Dean Thomas and Hermione Granger. Revelations abound and chaos ensues as the two of them and others find out just how much chaos comes from a properly peeved Potter.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is owned by Fujimi Shobo. Sailor Moon is owned by Kodansha. Harry Potter and friends were created by J. K. Rowling and are co owned by her, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters and am pretty much using them without permission. I intend no attack on the copyrights of these properties and no monies are being made. Please no sue. 
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The rating is real people. If you have a problem with profanity, lewd acts, teenagers behaving badly, adults behaving badly, gratuitous sex, violence, and...questionable decorating choices, then I strongly suggest you look elsewhere. If however you are one of my regulars, well you know what to expect.

Prologue

Harry thought back on all the little instances that his life had changed since that chance meeting of Katie three years ago. She had shown him how to get around on those three weeks he was there and he had shown her what it was like to be a kid in the muggle world. Over that year they had only grown closer. She had shown him the secret ways into Hogsmeade. Gotten him to take the broom to Professor Flitwick, calmed him down about Hermione taking the broom to Professor McGonagall (after all they hadn’t told anyone they were going to Professor Flitwick and it really wasn’t Hermione’s fault that McGonagall never asked questions), and helped him figure out that maybe Black wasn’t after him in the first place.

The following summer she had become so many firsts for him. His first kiss. His first girlfriend (even if it was in secret). The first person he ever opened up to about the Dursleys. She had even taken him to his first ever Quidditch game, though if Minister Fudge had realized that he’d had the Boy-Who-Lived ejected from a Puddlemere United game for accidentally spilling his butterbeer, they may have had a new Minister before his fourth year ever started.

That year, Katie had been his rock through all the horrible stuff that happened after his name coming out of the cup. Hermione was of course the first to figure out about their secret relationship, quickly followed by Lee and the twins. There had been a whole set up that Hermione and Harry would go to the ball as friends as would Lee and Katie with Harry and Katie having several dances through the night. Then had come Dumbledore all but blackmailing Hermione to go with Krum and then the only date Harry could get was with Padma Patil, who only went because her sister didn’t want to go with Ron Weasley without backup.

It was then that he suspected that the old bastard wanted to manipulate his life. A suspicion that was only confirmed when he found out that his hostage was none other than Ron Weasley. A few months later, the death of a good young man and he was being shuffled off to waste away in Durzkaban. Only he didn’t. It hadn’t taken long to realize that the front of his house was being watched and that they didn’t pay a lick of attention to the back garden. Three days in and Harry was switching out with a polyjuiced Dobby to make arrangements with the Goblins. 

Katie had managed to even get Sirius in on the planning as well as information about just what had been planned for him. It was also the first time he’d ever heard the word horcrux. Harry was only back for three days before Dudley and he were attacked by Dementors. That he got a use of underaged magic declaration was laughable according to what he found out from the Goblins (He wasn’t technically underage and hadn’t been since nine in the evening October thirty-first the previous year). He was willing to wait until the day in court to make his announcement only to have Dumbledore sweep in like the wrath of God and bugger everything up even more.

His fifth year was at once heavenly and hellish. Heavenly because he had spent every chance he could with Katie and his friends setting up the Defense Association and the more important Potter Covenant. The DA was open to anyone from any of the houses (though Ron did his best to discourage any and all Slytherins from attending) and was the public front to keep Umbridge and Dumbledore on their toes. The Potter Covenant however was only those who had Harry’s complete trust: Hermione, Fred, George and Ginny Weasley, Neville, Alicia, Angelina, Lee, Dean, a ravenclaw girl named Luna Lovegood and of course Katie.

While the DA would be the big distracting noise, the Covenant would find out what was really going on. Quietly, they hunted down any dark objects in the school and secreted them out to the Goblins for destruction. Carefully, they bugged each of the Heads offices and collected information and evidence (Only Flitwick’s was ever found and he just gave them points for creativity and due diligence). Secretly, they chipped away at not only Fudge’s but also Dumbledore’s powerbase by funneling all their intelligence to the one person who could do the most good with it, Neville’s Gran.

So of course everything had to go tits up right at the end of the year with Kreacher being ordered to tell him that Sirius had been captured (Harry knew he hadn’t but had to play along), Ron insisting on going along and nearly getting them all killed, Katie having to stay behind in case someone found out that they were lovers, and then Sirius dying from something as stupid as falling through the veil of death.

It had been two days since Sirius had died and now he was dealt a final insult to all his injury. His best friend and sister stood before him glossy eyed and obviously potioned up telling him that she was in love with Ronald and that she hated doing this to him. Harry only sighed, stunned his sister in all but blood and looked at Dean. “It’s time for a distraction. Tell Luna and Katie that plan B is a go.” 

He then gently picked Hermione up and carried her to the floo in the hospital wing all while chaos was exploding outside. The man had finally crossed the line. Harry was done playing nice. You never fucked with his family.

***

Dean had learned many things over the last several years. In first year, he learned that the Headmaster was set on isolating the Gryffindors while seeming to praise them for their bold defense of the school. All the real rewards would go to Slytherin House in the ways of higher marks unfairly given by a corrupt Head of House and blatant cheating, while Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw did their best to remain unseen and toil through the next seven years.

In second year, he learned that so long as the only people being hurt were Muggleborns that no one really gave a rat’s arse about a dangerous creature in the school, but the second a pureblood is threatened then all hell was going to turn loose. He remembered in point of fact a young boy named Harry Potter sitting next to the petrified body of his best female friend, reading to her in the hospital wing. When Dean asked him how the boy felt about Hermione, he simply said “She’s my sister, how do you think I feel about her.”

It was also in that year that Dean learned that one Harry James Potter would destroy anyone or anything that hurt his family when he saw the boy trick Lucius Malfoy into freeing his elf and just as the elf had protected Harry in return a glint of something silver in Harry’s hand. Unbeknownst to everyone, Harry had Hermione’s mirror and learned what Dean wouldn’t know for another two years: The killing curse couldn’t be shielded from, but it could be reflected. 

In third year, he learned that a silencing charm isn’t always your friend. He also learned that Ron Weasley was a bloody git and a traitor. When he approached Harry with this news, the boy only smiled sadly and shrugged saying, “I know.” It broke Dean’s heart to watch Harry re-enter the compartment he was sharing with the boy and carry on like nothing was wrong. Right next to him, Dean saw Hermione look up and give him a sad knowing smile that let him know that Harry wasn’t alone.

In fourth year, he got an inkling of how Harry felt when he got his own taste of unwanted infamy. Of course it was obvious that Harry didn’t put his name in the cup and only Ron Weasley or Seamus Finnegan would believe otherwise. Those two spun so many tales that they likely didn’t know what was true or false if it slapped them in the face. Dean was ashamed at being relieved once he was no longer in the spotlight and tried his best to help when he could. He even went and apologized to Padma on Harry’s behalf since he once again had the red headed anchor around his neck. 

That had evolved into his next lesson, or should he say lessons. Padma had decided to pay his kindness and care for Harry back by teaching him how to take care of a woman. Though their lessons were deliberately slow in their fourth year, they most certainly picked up over the summer and in the past one. If not for the DA and the covenant, he’d likely have been dead from private exertion. 

But then there was the main lesson that he learned at the start of the year. Loyalty to Harry is always rewarded with loyalty. It was then that Dean was brought into the Covenant and told all the terrible things Harry had kept to himself. He was told about the Goblins and what they found out. He was told about the shadow war that Harry had been forced to fight from the minute that he stepped foot back in the magical world. Most of all, he was told about the real Albus Dumbledore: the one that the man himself wasn’t even fully aware.

So Dean had helped to the best of his ability and distracted those that had been pointed out as either active or unwitting agents for the headmaster or Voldemort himself. He did it without question because he knew that both men were killing their world and had to be stopped. He snuck Goblins in through tunnels and artifacts out during Hogsmeade weekends. He kept track of people’s movements on the Marauder’s Map and kept his ears open for clues about where the bodies were buried, both figurative and literal.

So it was that when Harry looked at Dean and told him to cause a distraction he did it in the most explosive and visible way possible. He cracked Ron across the jaw yelling, “How dare you touch my girl you fucking pig!” After getting everyone’s attention and having the joy of beating on someone he actually hatred, the twins were the first to pull the two apart. Dean laid it on a little thicker. “I ever hear you coming near Padma like that again I’ll fucking kill you!”

He and Padma had already gone their separate ways by then, but she was keen enough and trustworthy enough to play along. It also didn’t hurt that Ron opened his mouth before she could respond.”

“I never touched your Paki bitch!” 

Dean felt a bit of savage glee at both Padma and Parvati getting a few kicks in with Parvati yelling. “We’re Hindi you inbred knuckle dragging waste of space! Call me a Paki again and I’ll force feed you your bollocks before burning your sorry arse alive.”

Once they had been pulled off the boy themselves, Padma turned and gave Dean the sternest look she could muster. “I told you I could fight my own battles Dean Thomas. Also, I am not some piece of property and will not be treated as such. You and I are through.”

Of course, once again he was the talk of the school, but this time it was as the hero, even if it wasn’t appreciated by “the target of his affections”. He had to agree with Harry that he wasn’t a very big fan of this type of fame either. As he entered the train, he glanced over at Katie and Luna mouthing “Plan B” and got nods from both of them. 

He made his way to an out of the way compartment and collected his thoughts as the train began to move. His mind went back to his time in First year under the sorting hat. The Hat had asked him what he wanted and Dean had said simply enough, “Whatever will be best for me.” He was never sure why the hat had put him in Gryffindor after that, but he could definitely say it had served him well so far. Who knows what the future could bring?

***

Hermione should have been over being shocked at how backwards Wizarding society was. She had nearly been killed by a troll in first year and her parents weren’t notified, not that they had cared when Hermione told them. She had been petrified for three months and again they weren’t notified. Again, not that they particularly cared. Then just before third year, she heard the most appalling story of drugging someone to “get them to notice you” and it was played off like it was some romantic gesture. 

Of course that all paled in front of an innocent man serving twelve years without so much as a trial, another man tried and convicted only to be snuck out by his father, spies and terrorists being allowed to teach in a school full of children, and a bloody attempt on her brother in all but blood’s life every fucking year. That doesn’t take into consideration all the corruption, bribery, incompetence and downright lunacy that is the so-called Wizarding government.

Like was said, she really should be past being surprised at the level of outright stupidity that went on in the Magical world. Yet somehow the universe had to show her how stupid wizards and witches were yet again as her brother was forced to adopt her into House Potter so charges could be filed against the little shit that had almost killed her by mixing two potions that should never ever be mixed and especially not with the medication to deal with the after effects of their battle two nights before. 

Yet again, it was because Albus Prick Wanker Boner Dumbledore had arranged for his “precious Muggleborns” had no protection until they were adults and even then not nearly as much as the Purebloods. It was like he was trying to kill the wizarding world by millimeters. Hell, at least Tom was honest about wanting pretty much everyone dead. 

She laid back in the Gringotts hospital bed and waited for someone to say she could go. Harry had been gone before she woke and Luna had only stayed long enough to assure her that they were going with Plan B and that she should rest as best she could before the start of the year. 

She chuckled as she thought about how Plan B could have just as easily been called Plan Bugout, as that is what most everyone would be doing. Only she, Dean and the twins would be staying in the area during the storm that was about to befall the wizarding world. Of course she and Dean would spend most of it in the Muggle world which may as well be a foreign country to most wizards. They were hoping that would keep them safe along with the fact that Dean and his mom were almost never home during the summer. 

Hermione had plans of her own that should keep her away from the house, which meant that Harry had some mischief in mind to foul up her plans and keep her if not entertained then at the very least busy. The nervous smile from the Healer as he walked in informed her that it had already begun. Well that and the letter on the man’s clipboard that was undoubtedly for her.

She sighed and held out her hand. “You may as well give it to me straight,” She said with a sigh. “I know I have a chronic infestation of Potter and I’ll likely never be rid of it.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salvos fired, Dean and Hermione get heritage tests and seeds for things in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is owned by Fujimi Shobo. Sailor Moon is owned by Kodansha. Harry Potter and friends were created by J. K. Rowling and are co owned by her, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters and am pretty much using them without permission. I intend no attack on the copyrights of these properties and no monies are being made. Please no sue.

Chapter 1

Dear Dumbledore and the Order of the Flaming Parrot,

Fuck you and the Snape you rode in on.

Harry James Potter

***

Dear Ministry of Magic,

Hate you. Hate Dumbledore. Taking my fortune and running. Good luck with your dork lord problem. By the way, his real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle and he’s a Halfblood like the illustrious headbastard.

See you in Hell,

Harry Potter.

***

Dear Tom, 

It’s not you, it’s me. I just expect more from a nemesis. Your performance issues aside, there is the fact that you make Draco and Ron look like Merlin and Flamel. Let’s not forget that you also have terrible taste in partners, although the masks cover up the evidence of inbreeding. Still, I might suggest a good old paper bag for some of them. It may help with your performance issues.

Harry

***

Dear Snivelous,

You are responsible for my parents deaths. You will never be forgiven. Do the world a favor and dig open a vein. 

Harry

***

Dear Remus,

I can forgive ignoring me for twelve years. I can accept your distance during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. I can even see trying to bury the hatchet with Snape and reining in Padfoot’s more extreme mood swings. What I can not abide is that you think I should trust the man that killed my family and more importantly your brothers! You have betrayed my family’s memory for the last time. Go crawl back into whatever hole you crawled out at Dumbledore’s behest. You are dead to me. 

Harry James Potter, Head of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter  
***

Dear Draco,

I’ve decided to pass the headship of the House of Black to you. Well, after I drained the vaults, annulled both your mother’s and Bellatrix’s marriages, reclaimed the dowries and called in all outstanding debts. I think I may have left you poorer than the Weasleys. Have fun explaining all this to the dork lord.

Harry

***

Dear Ron, 

You are a truly miserable piece of shit. Did you think I wouldn’t figure out what you did? I have arranged for Hermione to be cleansed of all those fucking compulsions and potions and evidence to be delivered to the DMLE. They should be on their way to question you in the next few hours. On the bright side, at least you’re currently richer than Malfoy.

Harry

***

Dear Dean,

Thanks for your help in distracting the Weasleys for Hermione and me. I left you some things that the Goblins will help get you set up. Among these are a house that will be perpetually rent free and a heritage test that I already paid for you in advance. Go ahead and take it since it may get you some answers on who your father was. I asked Hermione to help you out so this is me apologizing in advance. 

Thanks again,

Harry

***

Dear Hermione,

I’m sorry, I just can’t stay. I set some stuff up for Dean, so if you could help him out without running all over him I’d appreciate it. I also set up a heritage test for you and no I’m not going to take it back. Find out where your magic comes from, Mione. 

Be seeing you,

Harry

***

Dear Ginny,

Love your knockers, Hate your brother. I mean the twins are pretty cool, I mean your twin brothers, because your twins are bloody awesome. Bill and Charlie are pretty cool as well. Okay, so Percy is a prick and Ron will soon be a resident at chez Azkaban. Two-thirds of your brothers are pretty cool and you have a nice set. All in all things are still looking up for you. 

See you around,

Harry

PS would you be interested in working for me? I’m in the market for a nude maid.

***

Dear Daily Prophet,

If I were a vengeful man, the only thing you would hear from me would be through my solicitors. If I were a vengeful man, I would buy out all your sources for ink, paper and any other supplies that you may need to continue to publish that paper that frankly isn’t worth lining my owl’s cage. If I were a vengeful man, I would sit there with a jumbo size bowl of popcorn while the lot of you and your families were cast out into the street.

Fortunately for you, I am not a vengeful man. Unfortunately, I have decided to buy your paper and shut it down due to the completely unprofessional and irresponsible reporting that has plagued the entirety of the paper’s history.

Wishing you all the best in your future endeavors,

Harry Potter

The boy who hates titles.

***  
Dearest Luna,

I have recently come into possession of a printing press and was wondering if your father would be interested. I’m considering the price of two knuts (I have a wobbly table and can’t find an appropriate shim). Also, I have come to the realization that I have an incredibly large indoor swimming pool and am in need of a pool girl to occasionally give me mouth to mouth. Would you be interested?

Awaiting your reply,

Harry

***

Dear Harry,

I’m not going to sleep with you and you should be ashamed at how you traumatized poor Ginevra. She does however look quite fetching when she’s all scarlet like that. Enclosed is the two knuts for the Prophet’s press. As for your other two Knuts, I suggest some lotion and a copy of Playwizard.

Hugs and Kisses,

Luna

***

Dear Katie,

Apparently I continue to have openings for both a nude maid and a pool girl at my ridiculously large house in an undisclosed location. As I also have two house elves on staff, there is no actual work that would be needed and I believe the only hazard is the hormonal outbursts of a recently uninhibited teenage wizard who has more money than he could ever spend and absolute orders from his deceased parents and godfather to do whatever the fuck he wants. 

As I fully intend to be a one woman man and only jokingly offered Ginevra the nude maid position (honestly I don’t relish being a target of the Weasleys), the only need to fill both positions is perhaps if you would swing that way and wanted a partner. Even then, the staffing arrangements would be purely your choice.

Awaiting your reply,

Harry.

***

Dear Tonks,

Is there a way to redirect howlers? Asking for a friend.

Harry

***

Dear Molly,

You do realize that sending a Howler to a Lord of a Most Ancient and Noble House without just cause is considered an act of war. Unfortunately, having one child imprisoned and soliciting the other is not considered just cause. As it stands, the position I offered your daughter is far better than the position she voluntarily took with the Ravenclaw Quidditch team last year. Enclosed are the photographs I was able to confiscate from Colin before Professor McGonagall became aware of them. 

Do not contact me again,

Harry

***

Harry,

You’re on. I don’t mind looking but never thought beyond that so what’s the point. I expect a ring at some point, but not right away. Luna is regretting her decision after I told her about what I saw in the shower room. The bed’s reinforced right?

Katie

***

Katie,

Meet me at the old haunt on Tuesday.

Harry.

***

“What do you mean she just disappeared!” Albus roared. “I thought you were following her!”

“I was,” Kingsley insisted. “One minute she was walking down the path toward the Shrieking Shack and the next she was just gone. I did a point me and everything I could think of, but there was no trace of her.”

“It is imperative that we find Harry,” the headmaster insisted. “He is the only one that can defeat Voldemort.” He was momentarily astounded that no one flinched at the man’s name.

“Yeah about that,” Tonks drawled from the corner. “Since the Quibbler published that life and times of Tom Riddle article and all his supporters were bankrupted by Harry, they’ve not been nearly the threat they once were. Apparently it’s pretty hard to buy yourself out of prison without any money and Madam Bones suspended any Aurors that suddenly became bankrupt in the last week. Even Umbridge is being investigated when it was found out that she had illegally come into possession of a piece of Potter property. I’m just here to collect your spy.”

“Severus has my full trust,” Albus assured her.

“That’s nice,” Tonks quipped. “Madam Bones still wants to interrogate him and since you are no longer head of the Wizengamot, interference constitutes obstruction of justice. She told me to inform you that the complaint would go to the ICW if you interfered.” She stood and signalled for Snape to join her. “It’s just a couple questions Severus. I mean, you have nothing to worry about right?”

Snape looked at her for a second before shrugging and standing. “I’ll answer any questions she has to ask.”

“Severus!” the headmaster exclaimed in shock.

Severus simply looked at him. “I’m tired of serving two dark lords, and this past week I have come to the conclusion that this is exactly what I’ve been doing. You are no better than that damaged child with a made up name.” He turned back to Tonks. “Lead the way, Nymphadora.”

***  
Dean stood outside of Gringotts nervously fidgeting and glancing at the bank doors every few seconds. Hermione stood by him patiently waiting for him to decide if they were going to do this today or not. “I’m certain you’re over reacting, Dean.”

“Maybe,” he said around chewing on his lip. “But what if I find out my Dad was a Death Eater or something?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “If that’s the case, you know he’ll be broke and you write Harry. He’ll give you the money he took from your Dad and you’ll be set.” She grabbed him by the arm and tugged until he began to walk up the stairs beside her. “At least you didn’t just find out that you were adopted. I could just throttle Edgar and Anastacia for not telling me. After all those times I told them how important family and bloodlines were to the wizarding world. I just hope there’s no bloody marriage contracts I have to worry about.”

Dean froze on the spot. “Marriage contracts? Bloody hell they still use those, don’t they? What if I find a slew of them and end up with something like five wives?”

“I’m sure it will be fine, Dean,” Hermione tried to reassure while tugging on his arm again. “If that is the case I’ll help you figure it out.”

Apparently this wasn’t as comforting as she had intended since Dean stumbled and nearly entered the bank on his face. This, of course, caught the attention of every Goblin in the bank. One particular Goblin dressed in a very well tailored three piece suit walked up to the pair shaking his head. “Mr. Thomas, Ms. Granger.”

“Oh, hi Bob,” Hermione greeted the Goblin. “I take it you’re to deliver us to the inheritance department?”

“No, Ms. Granger. I will be handling the testing myself.” At Hermione’s surprised look he continued. “Mr. Potter insisted and since it’s his galleons paying for it and it’s my job to watch over those galleons, I become your host for the afternoon.”

“Congratulations on the promotion,” Hermione said with a smile. She looked over at Dean who seemed to be ready to bolt again. “I think we need to go ahead and get started if you can take us early. Poor Dean has worked himself up terribly over all this. I’m not sure how much more his nerves can take.”

Bob chuckled and led them back to his office. As they followed him through the doorway Dean looked up at the nameplate on the door. “Young what? Hermione I thought you said his name was Bob.”

“My real name is Jungfuhk,” the Goblin confessed. “But for some reason humans prefer to call me Bob.”

“Completely understandable,” Dean agreed. “You don’t take offence do you?”

“Since in our language Bob is a title of he who annihilates his enemies, not at all.”

“Good to know,” Dean said with a grin. “Ok, Hermione got me back here so I guess we should get this whole thing over with before I freak out completely.”

“Right,” Bob agreed. He pulled out a plain looking piece of parchment and a small silver knife. “Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?”

“Depends. What’s the hard way?”

“The hard way is I give you this knife and you cut your hand to bleed on this parchment,” Bob explained.

Dean cocked an eyebrow. “And the easy way?”

Bob grinned showing a lot of teeth. “How do you respond to pictures of naked women?”

“He’ll take the hard way,” Hermione growled as she picked up the knife and pushed it into Dean’s hand.

Dean shared a chuckle with Bob as he made a cut in the palm of his right hand and allowed it to drip onto the parchment until the Goblin signalled that it was enough. Hermione healed the cut while they waited for the results. When the blood sunk in and the parchment flashed orange Bob blinked and sat back in his chair. “Well, it looks like this might take a few minutes so why don’t we get yours started, Ms. Granger.”

Hermione nodded and picked up the now magically clean knife. “Not going to offer me pictures of naked men?”

Bob shrugged. “We find that it takes more than a few pictures to affect a woman that way and that is not a service Gringotts is licensed to provide.”

Hermione snorted and cut her thumb. As the blood dripped down on the parchment Dean protested. “Why does she get to cut her thumb and I cut my palm?”

“I only said to cut your hand,” Bob answered. “I never said where. That was your choice.”

Hermione’s parchment flashed green and began to fill in with lines and names. The two that appeared under her own name caught her attention immediately. “Makoto Kino and...oh my god. That can’t be right.”

Dean leaned over to read the paper and blanched. “Snape’s your dad?!?”

Bob snorted. “On the bright side you’re now the sole inheritor of the Prince fortune.”

Hermione looked up wide eyed. “He’s dead?”

Bob shook his head. “No, he’s been arrested, convicted and given a life sentence. That disqualifies him from inheriting according to the Prince family standard. You, as his daughter, acknowledged or not, inherit everything. I can look into the Kino line if you wish.”

Hermione nodded mutely as she tried to process what she was seeing. A flash of green from Dean’s parchment caught her attention and thankfully diverted her whirling thoughts.

Bob looked down at Dean’s parchment and began snickering. As it continued to fill out the snickering turned to chuckling which quickly turned into outright laughter that nearly shook him out of his chair. The Goblin wiped his eyes and steadied himself. “Damn, now I owe Potter three galleons.”

Hermione looked affronted. “You bet on Dean’s heritage test?”

Bob nodded. “More on how ludicrous it would be. I figured it would just be some third or fourth son that wouldn’t have much to his name. Mr. Potter however was certain it was going to be completely ridiculous and leave Mr. Thomas with a more convoluted mess than his own. In a sense, we were both right.”

Dean grimaced. “How so?”

Bob fought the urge to chuckle again. “Well it seems that your father was Phidias Myron, the fourth son of Novus Myron who took up the art of sculpture. One of his works resides in the atrium of the Ministry of Magic, or rather resided. Do remind me to thank Mr. Potter for arranging that eyesore’s demise. While the man was of some middling talent, he was easily swayed by his father’s domineering presence.”

“See,” Hermione gently chided with a friendly nudge. “That wasn’t so bad.”

“And you’d be correct in that assumption Ms. Granger,” the Goblin confirmed, “if not for the Wizarding war in the late seventies. Apparently Phidias had the rather dubious honor of being the last of his family killed by the Death Eaters, and when I say last I mean his entire extended family both here in Britain and on the continent. Mister Thomas is currently entitled to the Myron, Roche, Bello, and Maler families. Fortunately, there are no governmental seats for any of those families though I would advise against outright consolidating them.”

“What do you mean consolidating them?” Dean asked.

Bob once again had to clamp down on his mirth. “As it stands, if you do nothing with the total number of houses, you would have to marry four times to cover each of the four lines.” Upon seeing the young man pale, he quickly continued. “You have the option of consolidating lines and you do not have to wed until you attain the age of ascension in the nation where the majority of that family’s wealth resides. However, should you consolidate the wealth, then the presiding ministry in entitled to half the total assets which includes any family grimoires or magical items. There are ways around this law, such as what Mr. Potter did to Mr. Malfoy, but most of those avenues are not currently available to you as you do not have any close relation to foist an unwanted title upon.”

As Dean was still quite shaken at the prospect of four wives and the corresponding four sets of in-laws that would come with them, Hermione took over the discussion. “Three questions. First, why does the Ministry get half his assets if he decides to consolidate the houses? Second, what is the age of ascension? Finally third, are there any outstanding contracts that must be addressed and if so, by when must they be decided?”

Bob shook his head and smiled. “If only we could seduce you to come work for us Ms. Granger. As to your questions, the law was created to discourage the wholesale annihilation of long standing wizarding lines. More families mean more taxes and hopefully more revenue passing through Ministry hands. This assumes the loss of revenue from losing the family and to allow the Ministries of the ICW to continue to operate on a potentially smaller tax base.

“As for the age of ascension, that is the age when one can officially claim head of house status along with all rights and responsibilities. Here in Britain, it is the same as Age of Majority, seventeen. However in Mr. Thomas’ case, he also has to worry about France for the Roche which is twenty-one, Spain for the Bello which is eighteen, and Germany for the Maler which is twenty-five. As for you Ms. Granger, you may have to do something in regards to any Japanese inheritance by your eighteenth birthday.

“Thankfully for the both of you, there are no outstanding betrothal contracts for any of your families here or in Europe. Those would have shown on the parchment. As the Goblin Nation does not normally do business in Japan, it will take some time before we know of anything from there. That being said, I advise you start considering your options quickly Mr. Thomas as there are those that will want to force the issue of your marital status now that it is known you are a half-blood instead of a Muggleborn. Likewise for you Ms. Granger since I’m fairly certain that you just rose in rank to pureblood.”

Hermione blinked. “Really?”

“The Kinos are a rather prominent family in the service to the Japanese magical royal family. In point of fact, One of them is the magical Empress’ personal body guard.”

Hermione was feeling faint. “Oh bloody hell.”

“Tell me about it,” Dean grumbled. “I could kill Potter for introducing me to this mess.”

“Could you wait until I’ve sold some tickets?” Bob asked. At their incredulous looks he explained. “Mr. Potter has managed to fleece several Goblins in recent days on some of the most improbable bets. Hence why I only agreed to three galleons in spite of my certainty that Mr. Thomas was going to be unremarkable. When you see the director lose a thousand galleons on an impossible bet, it does make one cautious.”

***

Dear Neville,

Here is the money I promised to help with your parents care. I asked around a couple Muggle hospitals and found out there may be a procedure that could help them, but they would need to be examined by a trained neurologist. I also had the wards around Saint Mungo’s examined and may I say that I’m not impressed. You’d honestly be safer in a Knockturn brothel from what my contact told me. 

I recommend Saint Agatha’s in Surrey. They did a great job of taking care of Dudley and I understand that they have a long term care ward second to none. Bob told me that Gringotts can arrange payment through Bank of London and the Hospital won’t be any the wiser. 

On an unrelated note, Katie moved in yesterday and may I say that having a live in girlfriend rocks. Just remember to call ahead if you’re going to visit since Katie’s taken a shine to my normal dress code. Not that I think you’d mind, but Hannah might get a tad miffed that her boyfriend is ogling another bloke’s girl. I know for certain the bloke will take offense if you should happen to stare too long.

Well, Katie’s done with her potions summer course work and looks to be ready for round four. Write to you later.

Harry.

***

Harry,

You’re a prick. 

Neville

***  
Albus Dumbledore smiled genially as Neville walked into the parlor. It was obvious from the boy’s demeanor and gardening apparel that he had interrupted his afternoon pursuits. “I’m sorry for pulling you away from your hobby Mr. Longbottom.”

Neville stiffened. “I’ll have you know that the Longbottom Greenhouses are very well respected. In fact, I was putting together an order for a client which you are now delaying shipment of. How can I help you, Headmaster?”

“My apologies, Mr. Longbottom,” Albus said with some surprise. “I’ll get right to the point. I understand that you may know the location of Mr. Potter.”

“I may,” Neville answered.

“It is imperative that I know where he is,” the old wizard stressed.

“Imperative?” Neville asked with a raised eyebrow. “I was unaware that anything involving his education could be considered imperative.”

“I am concerned for Mr. Potter’s safety and security,” Albus explained. “It is of the utmost importance that Mr. Potter returns to his family.”

“Ah,” Neville said with a nod. “Would this be Vernon and Petunia Dursley living at Number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey?”

Albus blinked. “May I ask how you came upon that information?”

Neville snorted. “You mean besides the fact that I’ve shared a dorm with Harry for five years? Perhaps the notice of a Death Eater attack there not two days ago? I’m afraid you’re a little late to the game in protecting Harry. He’s taken that responsibility upon himself.”

“T-there was an attack at Privet Drive?” Dumbledore stuttered. Was he already too late? “May I inquire about how you learned of this?”

Neville reached behind him and picked up a parchment from the side table. He calmly handed it over to the Headmaster and settled in to watch his expressions. “As you know, my Gran is on the Wizengamot. That is the official report from the meeting yesterday. Since the address was included in the Auror’s report and the report was included in the meeting report, anyone who has access to that report has Harry’s relative’s address. Though I should say former address for at least one of them.”

Albus looked up in shock. “F-former address?”

“Apparently Mr. Dursley lost his life while buying time for his wife and son to escape,” Neville explained. “So you see, Headmaster, the house is no longer safe from Death Eater attacks and the address is all but public knowledge. Doesn’t sound like the safest place to Harry to me.”

“If Harry had returned the blood wards would have protected him and the Dursleys,” Albus insisted.

“Blood wards, you say,” Neville replied with a frown. “And who set up these blood wards, Headmaster? You? You do realize that blood wards are a class three offense. I wouldn’t fancy spending ten years in Azkaban for anyone’s protection.”

“Mr. Longbottom, I doubt they would send-”

“A school headmaster with delusions of grandeur to prison? Oh, I assure you we would,” Augusta stated as she entered from the hallway. “As it stands, we have bigger fish to fry. I would recommend you leave Mr. Potter alone lest he feel the need to press charges.”

“Charges for what?” Albus sputtered.

“Unlawful detainment, accessory to child neglect and abuse, embezzlement, attempted line theft, child endangerment, need I go on?” Neville’s grin was absolutely predatory at this point. “I think it’s time for you to go now, Headmaster.”

Albus sighed. “Can you at least put an old man’s worried conscience to rest? Please tell me where Mr. Potter is.”

“Harry said that if you could find him you were welcome to come for a visit. Wait here, Headmaster.” Neville walked out of the parlor only to return a few minutes later with what looked like a map of the British Isles. “I will tell you that he has not left Britain. This is a scrying map of the country. Give it a go.”

Albus chanted the incantation used for maps such as this inserting Harry’s full name where required and waited for the spell to take effect. When nothing happened he looked back up at Neville.

“If you can’t find him Headmaster, who else could?” Neville asked quietly. “Harry’s safe and happy. If you want to see him again at the beginning of the school year I’d let him have that for now. Perhaps you can address your concerns with him if he returns on September first.”

“If?” Albus asked worriedly.

“He has his OWLs just like the rest of us,” Neville reminded him. “He’s no longer required to return to formal schooling. He could just as easily hire a tutor if he wishes to pursue his NEWTs. Now if you’ll excuse me I have an order to complete.”

***

Dean looked around the house that Harry had given him. It wasn’t a manor or anything of the like, Just a simple three story Victorian that had originally been set up for gas then converted to full magic. According to the note left by Harry, it had been one of his mother’s “project houses” that she was experimenting on the wards and other ideas. As such, while no modern appliances would actually work in the house there was almost every other convenience imaginable to a woman with a 1970’s mentality and a total disdain for what was fashionable at the time. 

There were four actual bedrooms in total with three on the first floor and a master suite with full bath that took up a full third of the ground floor (thankfully the back left third). Completing the ground floor was a front parlor with a floo, the main living room, a formal dining room and kitchen. Outside the rear kitchen door was of course a kitchen garden that looked to be immaculately maintained and a shed of some sort.

On the first floor, in addition to the three aforementioned bedrooms were a common bathroom, a private dining room, a study that had stairway access into the master below, and a private deck that Dean could not recall seeing from outside.

Dean had decided to forego looking at the second floor for the time being as it was likely attic space and likewise the full basement the letter had mentioned. Instead, he was at that moment on the deck, overlooking the adjacent countryside and marveling at the fact that he, a London boy and son of a single mother, now had a house in the country and a good four acres to do with as he pleased. 

The only downside was the fact that his mother had decided to stay in London, leaving him to live here on his own. He fully understood her reasoning, she did have a job and responsibilities after all. Still, it would have been nice to be able to take care of her for once. 

He was a bit surprised that she had all but insisted that he move out here actually. Not that he minded, but his mother had always been a bit overprotective until this summer. Oh she taught him how to cook for himself and how to take care of a home garden to cut back on costs and all, but whenever he went anywhere by himself beyond the corner market she would demand that he call her when he got there and when he was leaving. Also, if she had to work a late shift, no one was allowed into the house and he was absolutely not to open the door unless there were uniformed police officers and they had a warrant.

This summer, however, after showing his mother the deed on the house and that he was set to inherit quite a bit of money from his father’s family she had only smiled and said, “Well it looks like you can start to build your own life then.” She hadn’t outright thrown him out, but merely pointed out that it would likely be better for him out in the countryside and that a year from now he would be expected to be on his own anyway. There was also the fact that she had been emancipated at sixteen herself when her foster parents had died in that horrible accident so she saw nothing wrong with him getting a head start while there was still a parental figure there to help him get on his feet. 

He was contemplating this when he saw five vaguely humanoid shapes running toward his house. As they came closer, he could make out clearly a young lady being chased by four men in grey robes. He jumped from the deck without thinking, his wand already in hand, and ran to intercept. As soon as he was in range his wand was already firing bright scarlet stunners, catching three before they even knew what was happening. 

The fourth attempted to turn and return fire only to be hit in the face by a spell Dean learned from Parvati Patil. She had warned him that an overpowered hair removal charm could be painful, but had never heard anyone scream like that before. A stunner late, and he was binding up the attackers and checking for others.

“You saved me.” The lady sounded surprised for some reason.

“I just hope you explain that to the Aurors when they show up,” Dean said as he continued to scan the area. In the back of his mind, he noted something familiar about the young woman’s voice but couldn’t place it.

“Why would you save me, Thomas?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked back. “You were being chased by Death Eaters. Do you happen to have your wand on you?”

“But I’m a Slytherin. Gryffindors hate Slytherins.”

Ah, that explained it. She was a school mate. “Actually, just Ron hates Slytherins. The rest of us try to take you on a case by case basis. Now, do you have your wand on you? I’d really like these tossers stunned again by someone else just to be on the safe side.”

“Uh no,” she replied sheepishly. “It was inside when the Death Eaters attacked us. Mother didn’t want the Ministry to have an excuse to harass me. What about Potter?”

“You should always have your wand on you just in case you’re attacked,” Dean responded automatically. “And what about Potter?”

“Doesn’t he hate all Slytherins?” she asked. “And for your information I do normally carry it, but I was just in the garden and Umbitch had been snooping around as of late.”

“Harry normally only hates Malfoy and Parkinson since they’re the normal ringleaders in regards to bullying Hermione,” Dean explained over his shoulder. “Crabbe and Goyle just irritate him due to their relative stupidity, that is stupidity being brought on by breeding relatives. I hear he’s generally pissed at the whole of Ravenclaw House at the moment, but that’s only because he doesn’t know who is bullying Lovegood. Then there is Snape who is more loathing of Harry than Harry is of him. In Snape’s case it’s more along the lines of simply having no respect for the man.”

Before anything else could be said, there were several pops signalling apparition and the shout of “Aurors! Lower your wands!”

Dean lowered his wand and called out. “Four hostiles stunned over here and one unarmed civilian beside me. Is Auror Tonks, Shacklebolt, Jones or Vance with your number?”

“I’m Auror Jones,” the lead Auror, a woman, called out. “Can I ask how you know those names?”

Dean snorted. “Harry said you were the only four that he trusted. I’ll surrender my wand when we’re all safely in the ministry and those four are in custody. I know I broke the underage restriction, but this young lady was in danger.”

Auror Jones snorted. “Don’t worry about it. You were defending yourself and another. Hawkins, Birch, identify the Death Eaters and stun them again for good measure.” She approached Dean and the young woman. “I take it that you were part of Harry’s defence club.”

“We called it the D.A.,” Dean responded calmly. “And you have a penchant for flamboyant birds according to Harry.”

Auror Jones snorted. “I believe Harry called us flaming parrots in his last missive to the headmaster, but yes I’m in the order. I’ll make sure you get the reward for these Death Eaters.”

Dean blinked. “Reward?”

“Three hundred galleons per Death Eater,” Auror Jones explained. “Madam Bones and Minister Scrimgeour instituted it just yesterday morning. It goes up if the Death Eater in question was a member of the Ministry.”

“Cor!” shouted one of the other Aurors. “That’s Yaxley and Robards! They’ve been missing for a week!”

“And I’ll be damned if baldy here isn’t Rudolphus Lestrange,” the other shouted. “There’s a thousand galleon reward on him. Don’t know who the kid is however.”

“That’s Benedict Worthington,” the young woman answered. “He’s a Slytherin a year ahead of us.”

“And you two would be?” Auror Jones asked.

“Dean Thomas,” Dean answered shortly followed by the young woman’s “Tracey Davis.”

Tracey looked contemplative before asking, “Auror Jones, would there be a reward for any information leading to the potential capture of other Death Eaters?”

Auror Jones looked at the young lady. “Perhaps if it pans out.”

Tracey smiled. “I overheard them saying that they were going to take me to a revel at the Parkinson house and how the Dark Lord would be pleased with them.”

Jones nodded then glanced toward the house. “Is this your residence Mister Thomas?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Dean replied. 

“I would request that you both stay here and inside at least until I return, which will be within the hour.” She then turned to Tracey. “Miss Davis, I’ll send someone to check on your residence if you’ll give me the floo address.”

“Davis Cottage,” Tracey responded.

Auror Jones grimaced but nodded before turning back to Dean. “I’ll come to the front door and knock. I won’t ask to enter and if I have anything for you, I’ll leave it on the doorstep.”

Dean nodded. “Standard latch key kid rules. I’ll see you in an hour.”

After the Aurors apparated away, Dean led Tracey inside. “I thought I recognized your voice,” he said to the young woman. “You’re Greengrass’ friend.”

Tracey rolled her eyes. “Actually, I’m her half-sister. We share a mother.”

Dean tried to do the math but it made his head hurt. “Given your age, wouldn’t that sorta make you twins?”

Tracey grinned. “I have two mothers and no father. There’s a potion that allows two women to conceive a child. It’s not a common practice but my birth mother wanted a child and hated men. This way she was guaranteed a daughter.” She looked around appreciatively. “This is a pretty nice place. Nothing like the cookie cutter nightmares they told us about in Muggle Studies.”

Dean shrugged absentmindedly. “Actually the house was a gift from Harry. Seems that his parents had several and he wanted to thank me for helping out with the Weasleys.”

“He gave you a house?” Tracey looked at Dean like he was crazy.

“Well, you have to understand that the distraction helped him get Hermione to a floo and some rather horrid potions flushed from her system.” Dean sat down in the living room and motioned for Tracey to join him. “Turns out that Ron had been dosing her with loyalty potions and lust potions for close to a year and a half. I guess no one told the little shite that they are never to be used in conjunction, not that they are to ever be used at all. Anyway, Hermione’s safe and Ron’s getting cozy with the Dementors.”

Tracey sat down with a huff. “The tosser’s lucky he didn’t squib her. Do they know who supplied him the potions?”

“Only that it wasn’t Snape or his mum,” Dean answered. “Snape had confessed all his sins the following day and Mrs. Weasley had to volunteer to be questioned under veritaserum since she had a record previously. Ron thought it’d be fine since in his words ‘It’s only a mudblood.’”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Tell me about it.” Dean’s demeanor changed slightly. “And there’s the fact that it’s not true either.”

Tracey noticed the change. “What do you mean?”

Dean bit his lip in thought before continuing. “Part of Harry’s gift to me was a heritage test and since he didn’t want me to feel singled out, he also paid for Hermione to have one as well. I never knew my father beyond he had met Mum at uni and they’d had a whirlwind romance before he just up and disappeared leaving her pregnant, so I’ve always been curious. Meanwhile, Hermione found out that she was adopted and in point of fact knew less about her family than I did. By the way, that last part isn’t public knowledge yet.”

Tracey nodded in acceptance. “No one will hear it from me. So, when will your mother be showing up?”

“Um, Mum lives in London,” Dean said with a wince. “She actually thought it might be a good idea for me to have my own place and encouraged me to move out here. I haven’t even brought my clothes and trunk yet.”

Tracey blinked. “You intend to live out here by yourself?”

“Well, once I get the floo hooked up and everything.”

“But who are you going to have to cook for you and keep this place up?”

“I’ll have you know I’m a fair hand in the kitchen,” Dean replied with a huff. “And much of the cleaning should be handled by the specialized wards Mrs. Potter came up with according to the Goblins.”

“This is a Lily Potter House!” Tracey yelled excitedly, instantly on her feet. “There are only seven in existence! Oh, you have to show me everything!”

***

Hermione lit the end of one of her experimental cigarettes and took a long drag off it, allowing the potion soaked herbs to do their work. In truth, it was only experimental in the sense that she had yet to publish her results. What she had dubbed her potion cigs turned out to be safer and just as effective if not more so than most of the potions she had based them on. She had even come up with a way to stabilize the wolfsbane potion for Remus before the fucker had decided to be a Dumbledore arse kiss. 

She was still feeling some pain from the potion flushing and the night at the Ministry (hence the painkiller cig she was smoking at the moment) but had also promised to meet up with her cousin for a shopping trip today. She smirked at the thought of watching her sweet little cousin Rochelle trying on knickers in front of her and wondered how the girl would react to finding out that Hermione was a lesbian. Never mind the fact that they weren’t really related. 

“Hermione Granger smoking a cigarette,” called out an unwanted voice. “Someone thinks they are a bad girl all of a sudden.”

Hermione rolled her eyes in annoyance. She so didn’t need this shit at the moment. “Hello Victoria, and this is a herbal cigarette to treat something that happened to me. I have a prescription and everything.” Well she did have a prescription for the potion at least. Nevermind her painkillers were a tad more potent and likely had the kick of a shot of firewhiskey by comparison. Not that a Muggle like Victoria Lewis would feel any effect from them.

The girl snatched the cig from Hermione’s fingers. “I’ll bet,” the bitch snorted before taking a drag. And was instantly staggering. “Wh-what the...F-fuck…” the girl almost fell into the seat as he pupils dilated and the cig almost fell from her fingers. 

Hermione snatched the cig back before addressing her surprise. “That should have had no effect on you whatsoever. How is that possible? Unless…” Hermione squinted at her grade school nemesis in contemplation. “So what is it: Witch, Squib, or other?”

The now very stoned girl blinked at Hermione owlishly for a few seconds before slowly responding. “Other. I’m part Fae. What the hell is that?”

“I call them my painkiller cigs,” Hermione answered. “It’s a pain potion in cigarette form. I’m managing pain from some things that happened to me at Hogwarts.”

“Yer a witch?” Victoria slurred. “Oh maannn! Mum is going to to be pished when she finds out.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“I’m not supposed to mess with magicals,” Victoria muttered. “Sumthin’ about treaties. Please don’ tell her I picked on you.”

Hermione took a drag off the cig and eyed her former nemesis. “What’s in it for me?”

“Anythin’.”

“I will hold you to that,” Hermione responded. “Right now I’m waiting on my cousin Rochelle and where we are going you are most assuredly not invited. Do you recall where I live?” At the girl’s nod she continued. “Be at my door at nine tomorrow morning to receive the terms of your unconditional surrender. For now, get out of my sight.”

Hermione watched the slightly inebriated sway of the girl as she departed appreciatively. Victoria may have been a bitch, but she definitely had a fine arse.

“Wow,” a voice said next to her, “she’s hot.”

Hermione turned to address the newcomer and was momentarily taken aback. The young woman standing next to her was wearing a red flannel shirt as a jacket with a black corset underneath and complemented by black leather pants and motorcycle boots. What hair hadn’t been shaved to her scalp was dyed the same red as the flannel and if it wasn’t for the girl’s ice blue eyes, Hermione wouldn’t have recognized her.

“Rochelle?”

Rochelle smiled and sat down across from Hermione. “I go by Roxie now, Mia.” She jerked her head in the direction Victoria departed. “So was that your girlfriend?”

“Future indentured servant,” Hermione replied while putting out the painkiller. “So I take it mother has already been broadcasting my coming out of the closet.”

Roxie chuckled. “Not that I know of. I think I’ve always known. It’s kinda nice not to be the only one in the family.”

Hermione snorted. “I guess that is what this is all about then,” she commented while motioning towards Roxie’s current apparel.

Roxie chuckled. “This is because I’m a guitarist in a band and like to stand out. Now, would you like to get on with our little shopping trip? There’s a place I’d like to show you.”

Hermione shrugged and stood. “You’re not going to try to corrupt me into some denim wearing cult are you?”

“No,” Roxie responded evasively. “There’s just this pub that I want to show you. It’s called the Leaky Cauldron.”

Hermione stopped and cursed. “Is no one I grew up with mundane? First, I have my milkman’s kids in my fecking house and now my quiet normal cousin is....” She glared at Roxie. “We are going to my home and have a very long talk away from curious ears and then I’ll decide just how cross I am to be with you.”

Hermione grabbed Roxie by the arm and all but frog marched her back to her parents home and inside. Once the door was closed, she turned on her cousin. “Are you or are you not a witch?”

Roxie sighed and flopped down on a couch. “I am and I take it by your outrage you are too. Dad’s a Wizard by the way. I could have sworn uncle Ed was a Muggle.”

“He is,” Hermione answered. “I was adopted. Where do you go to school? I would have noticed you at Hogwarts.”

“Damn, you go to Hogwarts?” Roxie smiled. “I knew you were smart, but that’s impressive. I’m enrolled in Academy la Sombra, though I was thinking of transferring to one of the British trades now that Dad’s no longer working for the embassy.”

“If you can get your OWL equivalencies then I’ll see about getting you into Hogwarts,” Hermione offered. “I have some pull with the deputy headmistress.” She sat down opposite her cousin. “I guess that also explains how you didn’t know I was a witch even though my name has been plastered all over the Prophet the last two years.”

“Dad has very little use for the British Wizarding world,” Roxie affirmed. “Have you taken a Heritage test yet?”

Hermione nodded. “Found out some surprising things actually. Things I’m trying to come to terms with.”

Roxie ran her hand through her hair. “Look, I was going to come clean with you today and hope that you would still want to be at least friends, maybe something more as weird as that sounds.”

Hermione smirked. “So you’re not only gay but into incest.”

 

Roxie groaned and covered her face. “Go ahead, make this even more difficult. It’s just… I’ve always felt this connection to you, Mia. It’s like I’m always thinking about you. Even when you were in another country, I’m always daydreaming about you. Dad wouldn’t even entertain the idea of me telling you until this year. Until a month ago he forbade me until after we were adults. Then for some reason he suddenly said it was alright.”

“A month ago you say,” Hermione said with a smirk. “That would have been right after my friends and I broke into the Ministry to fight some Death Eaters.”

“What!”

Hermione chuckled at her cousin’s paling face before continuing. “My dear Rochelle, let me fill you in on the adventure that has been my life. It all began with a boy with the messiest black hair you have ever seen in your life and a pair of startling green eyes…”

***

Dean went to the door at the knock. “Who is it?”

“Mr. Thomas, its Auror Jones. I’m sliding the envelope with the Gringotts draft for your reward through the mail slot.” As soon as the envelope appeared and fell to the floor, she continued. “Is Miss Davis still here?”

Tracey walked up and joined Dean at the door. “I am, ma’am.”

“Miss Davis, I regret to inform you that your home has been torched and your mother was found dead. Is there someone we should notify?”

Dean noticed the tears running down her face but the lack of surprise on her face. “No ma’am, it was just me and Mum. I don’t have any other relatives.”

“Mr. Thomas, would you be willing to let her stay for a couple nights until we can arrange a safe house?”

Dean looked at Tracey and sighed. “She can stay as long as she wants, Auror Jones. I’ll escort her to the Ministry in the morning to fill out any necessary paperwork as I have to hook the floo up anyways.”

“Come straight to the DMLE in the morning then,” the Auror called back. “I’ll make sure that Madam Bones is notified and we can arrange for a secure floo.”

“Thank you,” Dean responded. After they heard her leave, Dean turned back to Tracey. “Why didn’t you mention your other mother?”

“Because Lord Greengrass isn’t aware. Outside of our mother, Daphne is the only other person that knows. Not even Astoria knows I’m her big sister.”

“Well, I meant what I said. You can stay here as long as you like.”

Tracey smiled. “Thanks. So, now what? Do we catch the Knight Bus to Diagon Alley?”

Dean grinned sheepishly. “I’m afraid so. I could feed us for the night, but that doesn’t do anything in regards to clothing for you. Maybe we can work something out with the Goblins about temporary transport or something to get back.”

Tracey sighed. “I won’t be able to get a new wand until I get a letter from the DMLE that mine was destroyed in a fire either which means cleaning charms are out even if I could do magic over the summer.” She looked at Dean with a small smile. “I’ll pay you back when I get access to my mother’s vault.”

Dean picked up the envelope and shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll just take it out of this check of free money.”

“Free money?” Tracey asked incredulously. 

“It was nothing I was planning on,” Dean countered as he opened the door. “After you my dear.”

***

Dearest Red Menace,

I hereby welcome you into the next generation of the Marauders, henceforth known as the Hooligans. Your moniker will be as stated above and completely interchangeable as everyone is certain the two of you share a brain. With Messrs Prongs and Padfoot gone to the prank hall in the sky and Messrs Mooney and Wormtail kicked out due to cowardice, I have therefore taken over the sacred duty to spread chaos and mischief as far as the eye can see. If like me, you wish to continue the grand and noble art, all that you must do is solemnly swear to uphold our sacred traditions and never abandon those you have shared common enemy with. 

I also wouldn’t mind a couple pictures of those lovely ladies you keep tied up in that store. According to my dearest, Angie has a rather attractive piece of art just above her equally attractive posterior.

Your Devoted Master of Mayhem

Havok

***

Fred and George looked at each other before pointing their wands at the paper and calling out, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good!” The parchment responded by swirling all the letters around and writing out an entirely different letter.

***

Hey guys,

Katie and I are doing fine. Sorry about the chaos surrounding Ron and your sister, but believe it or not Ginny and Luna actually paid me to do that. Not that I wouldn’t have done it for free if they had bothered to explain before hand. In short, Colin was set up by Luna and Ginny along with all the Ravens that Ginny ‘lost’ the bet to. 

Yes, Mooney is out of the Marauders. He knows what he did and no it’s not forgivable. In my opinion, it’s worse than what Ron did to Hermione but not as punishable by law. Neville said the old man tried to get my location out of him so keep your eyes open. I still don’t know who gave Ron those potions so if you hear anything, let me know. No one potions my sister by another miss and mister and gets away with it.

Until my next shipment,

Harry

***

George looked at Fred. “So, Lifetime ban on Mr. Lupin?”

Fred shook his head. “Nope, fifty percent mark up. That way we still make money of the arse.”

“I like the way you think.”

***

The revel was in full swing when the shout of “Aurors! Drop your wands!” rang through the air. Most of the serious fighting was over quickly and the Death Eaters were being restrained when a door across the room opened up. The Dark Lord could be seen wiping his hands as he walked in and several Aurors were certain he was just removing the viscera from his hands. Before they could bring their wands to bear the door just to the side of the snake-like man slammed open, catching him square in the face and slamming him into the wall.

“Perimeter secure, sir!” Auror Tonks shouted from crouched position in the doorway.

Kingsley Shacklebolt stood there blinking for a full half minute before finally shaking himself. “Tonks, why don’t you step in and close the door.”

“Sure thing boss,” she said with her usual cheerfulness. When Kingsley gestured towards the floor beside the door she just closed, Tonks nearly fell on her arse backing away from the prone body of the Dark Lord. “Where the hell did he come from?”

One of the still conscious Death Eaters spoke up from the back. “Um, that’s the loo.”

***

Director Blutwick looked at the Ministry official incredulously. “Would you care to run that past me again?”

The Ministry flunkie that was sent due to the Goblin liaison office coming down with a collective case of “not gonna touch that one” shivered nervously. “It seems that You-Know-Who was captured at a revel by Junior Auror Nymphadora Tonks after she caught him off guard by slamming a door in his face.”

“And you are certain he will not escape,” the director stated.

“The unspeakables carved four hundred and thirty-seven separate magic suppression wards into his skin. Even if he should happen to escape, he’ll never cast magic again. He is also being held in an area that has every type of ward known to man along with it only being able to be opened by a single Unspeakable whose identity is only known by the director of the Department of Mysteries.”

“So all one would have to do is get Croaker and-”

“The real director,” the flunkie interrupted. “The one only known as Oz.”

“Well fuck.” Blutwick turned and looked over to his head bookie. “Who had Auror Tonks with a door?”

The bookie looked down the accounting and then began cursing in Gobbledygook. Blutwick groaned and shook his head. “I swear that boy has a time turner. What were the odds?”

“5,000 to 1,” the bookie snarled.

“And how much did Mr. Potter wager?”

“5000 Galleons.”

Blutwick could hear his nephews Jungfuhk and Lymptdeck howling with laughter in the halls. Sometimes it just didn’t pay to chew through the straps in the morning.

***

Dean and Tracey made their way back into the house followed by Dean’s mother, all with their arms full of bags. “Thanks for giving us a ride out Mum,” Dean said as he set his bags down and began helping his mother with hers. “I was at a loss on how we were going to get everything back here. I guess it never really registered that 2000 Galleons would convert to 10000 pounds. I just hope that we got everything we need.”

Tracey giggled nervously. “I told you that you didn’t need to spend so much on me Dean. I mean, how in the world am I ever going to pay you back?”

Dean sighed. “I told you that you don’t have to pay me back, Tracey. Look, I’m going to go get my trunk out of the car and then we can start putting stuff away.” He was out the door before anyone could protest.

Not that his mother was able to protest. Her eye, trained during her education both in University and under study by several masters, was picking up things that her talented yet somewhat naive son had probably missed. Things that made her want to snicker like a teenaged girl sneaking her mother’s bodice rippers. “Miss Davis,” she managed to choke out, “Could you tell me why Lily Potter houses are supposedly so prized?”

Tracey blinked and smiled. “Well aside from the fact that she only did a handful of them, there is the fact that she designed each house with a particular individual or theme in mind. Each house was supposed to encapsulate what that theme or person was about and encourage the occupants to embrace it.” 

A snort escaped Mrs. Thomas as she could very well see what Lily Potter was trying to get the occupants to “embrace”. In point of fact, to the trained eye the room and likely the entire house had all the subtlety of a sledgehammer between the eyes. “I see.”

“See what?” Dean asked as he dragged his trunk inside. 

Mrs. Thomas turned to her son and smirked. “Dean could you look at the chandelier and tell me the first thing that pops into your mind?”

Dean looked confused but obliged his mother. “Um, okay...Er, I don’t know. Melons maybe or cantaloupes.”

Mrs. Thomas fought the urge to laugh out loud and patted her son on the shoulder before heading to the door. “A good guess. Good night you two. I have work in the morning.”

Dean watched his mother leave curiously before turning back to Tracey. “So, I guess we better set you up with a room.”

“How about the one next to your study,” Tracey suggested. “I mean that way if something happens then we can get to each other a bit quicker. Right?”

“Works for me,” replied Dean as he began carrying her bags up to her room.

The rest of the evening was filled with rather companionable silence as the teens placed their purchases in their respective rooms. Tracey herself was becoming somewhat distracted by her mind playing tricks on her. This she was certain of as who would place a carving of a wood nymph so provocatively in a hallway. In fact she wasn’t really sure she had actually seen it. Then there was her momentary belief that her wardrobe looked like a pair of legs opening up. 

She had just about convinced herself that the life debt she knew she owed the Gryffindor and her own hormones were screwing with her when she noticed that her room had a similar but much smaller chandelier to the one in the entry hall below. She could easily see why Dean had thought they were melons of some sort, but something seemed off. And just why would one place a cucumber between melons and have the stem end of the melons exposed... That was when it all clicked for her. Those weren’t stem ends. They were nipples! And that wasn’t a cucumber!

Her mind whirled through all that she knew about Lily Potter houses. There were only about a dozen in total and only four outside of the family before their deaths. Dean said Harry gave him this one so that meant it was likely one of the ones that Lily Potter was using as a project house. Her mind whirled as she thought about the themes that she read in the woman’s wizarding architecture books. The concept houses were meant to elicit a response from those who visited them. One in particular was designed to encourage guests to act with abandon in the spirit of the society that Lily Potter had been raised. She had called it the Free Love movement.

Tracey gasped. She wasn’t in just any Lily Potter house. She was in the Potter Pleasure Palace! She tentatively opened the nightstand with a fearful hope to prove herself wrong only to find what Lily Potter had written about in her books: A bottle of contraceptive potion under stasis, a self filling box of condoms and a everfull bottle of lubricant. Tracey laid back and stared at the ceiling which she realised had a faint bas relief depiction of a roman orgy complete with several fauns, veela, and a fully erect stallion in the middle.

“Oh Merlin,” She muttered to herself. “I’m living in the mother of all brothels with a five foot eleven piece of chocolate Gryffindor hunk that I just happen to owe a life debt to. I’m either in heaven or hell and most likely about to be fucked regardless.”

***


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is owned by Fujimi Shobo. Sailor Moon is owned by Kodansha. Harry Potter and friends were created by J. K. Rowling and are co owned by her, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters and am pretty much using them without permission. I intend no attack on the copyrights of these properties and no monies are being made. Please no sue.

Chapter 2

Nine a.m. came far too early in Hermione’s opinion as she sipped her breakfast tea and read an actual paper waiting for the bane of her existence pre-Parkinson. As there were still more than fifteen minutes before the little Fae-blood brat was supposed to arrive and Hermione determined to actually be awake and presentable before she arrived, Hermione determined to drag herself out of bed and put on as normal a face as possible as opposed to cuddling with her half-blood witch not-cousin upstairs.

If people realized that she was subsisting most mornings on Professor Sprout’s special brew number forty-five (guaranteed to wake-up anything short of the dead and even then there’s a chance) through most of the school year, Her reputation as a morning person would be shot to hell. At least she wasn’t addicted to something as horrid as coffee. Honestly, how could Professor Snape tolerate that toxic looking swill?

Proffessor Snape. Now there was another mess that she had been avoiding. Severus Snape was her father. The man who made it his life’s mission to torment her brother in all but blood every year was in point of fact her biological sperm donor. She was part greasy dungeon bat. The only bright spot was that she was the first of the Prince line that had been able to access the family fortune: Roughly a quarter million Galleons. She still regretted the fact that there was nothing to fall off of in dramatic fashion when she found out, though it may still be hilarious when she confronts Snape and says to him, “Severus, you are my father.”

Of course she was also part Japanese, but the Goblins hadn’t gotten too far on that bit of information. Apparently the Japanese had their own banking system and avoided anything to do with Europe like the plague. Hermione was unsure of just what the future would hold on that front, but was still hopeful. Perhaps her mother is just as smart as she is. Maybe she’s a lead researcher and the two fell in together over a potions project they ended up working on together. 

The doorbell rang drawing her out of her thoughts. Hermione sighed and finished her tea before going to the front door. A glance through the window confirmed it was Victoria which led to Hermione simply opening the door and motioning for the girl to enter. She was not about to actually invite her in. She was not a guest and Hermione refused to treat her like one.

Victoria shivered in pain as she stepped across the threshold giving Hermione a small bit off pleasure. She had done her research on the Fae and part Fae with Rochelle...Roxie’s help. Merlin, that was going to take getting used to. Apparently a true Fae can not cross a threshold without an invitation and a part Fae only with a bit of pain. The invitation could be either verbal or written but must be freely given, which seemed to run counter to what most fairy tales implied. Of course the fairy tales had said things like witches had three nipples and made pacts with the devil. 

Hermione closed the door and stared at her former tormentor for several seconds. “I am going to ask several questions before I decide just what your punishment should be. I want to know just how much of a bitch you are and conversely just how much of my bitch I should make you. Note that any question you refuse to answer will make me think the worst of the situation. You will answer truthfully and completely or not at all. I will not accept and partial truths or lies by omission. Am I understood?”

“Yes ma’am,” the woman replied, her eyes becoming slightly glazed.

Another thing that Hermione determined from her research was that until she and Victoria had come to an understanding and compact that Hermione held a great deal of power over her. Allowing her into the house without inviting the half-Fae gave her even more power and even more would be determined if Victoria answered the next question correctly.

“Did you tell your mother the reason for this meeting with someone you tormented for several years?”

“No,” Victoria answered. “She would have yelled at me.”

The answer drew a smile from Hermione. “Did you know that your mother could have mitigated what I could do if you had informed her, but by coming by yourself you have effectively placed your fate at my mercy?” 

Victoria paled. “I didn’t.”

Hermione made her way to a large wingback chair and sat down, and was quite pleased when she saw that Victoria didn’t take the gesture as an invitation to do the same. Taking a moment to look at her former nemesis before continuing, she noticed that while attractive, Victoria wasn’t anything to particularly write home about. Her body, though lithe and graceful, didn’t hold any of the raw sexuality one would normally attribute to one of the Fae and she looked more like a rabbit caught in a trap than a princess awaiting her sentence.

Hermione was confused, a condition that she did not like to find herself in ever. She would need to clarify her knowledge later but for now would stick to her initial questions.

“Who besides me have you ever tormented?”

“No one,” Victoria responded. “You were the only one I ever felt threatened by.”

“Why did you feel threatened by me?”

Victoria sighed. “You were smarter than me and I could tell that at the very least you would be pretty in that ‘oh look how adorably cute and safe I am’ way. I knew as boys got older that we would be in competition for their attention and I would lose.”

“We were six when we first met,” Hermione replied incredulously. “Do you mean to say that you were thinking about boys even then?”

“I was thinking about survival,” Victoria answered. “Fae, even part Fae, rely on dreams to stay alive. They power our abilities and sustain part of our being. Without dreams, we slowly starve to death unless we change part of our being, like the house elves did with their servitude to Wizards. Sadly, the easiest dreams to find are the dreams of teenaged boys about girls. I wanted the boys fantasizing about me so that I could eat their dreams and stay alive.”

Hermione only nodded thoughtfully, but inside she was suddenly filled with regret. She never thought about why the House Elves were like they were. It was a sudden and somewhat horrifying realization. “So if I bound you in service to myself, would you change like the house elves?”

“No,” Victoria answered, a look of fear on her face. “Only if you bound one of the Wizened and then only if you bound them to your family instead of yourself. As I am of the Beast kith and we have never been bound before to my knowledge, I would likely be turned into some new type of magical creature.”

Hermione sighed and tapped her chin in thought. She really didn’t have any idea what to do in this situation. From what she read, Fae only truly responded to three forms of punishment: binding, exile, and death. Death struck her as a bit extreme since it really had been just a bit of childhood teasing and Victoria stealing her books. The only real damage had been to Hermione’s self-confidence and that had been rebuilt by Harry. 

Exile also seemed a bit extreme as it would be sending Victoria, who had spent her entire life amongst others to live in some pocket dimension of the Fae Realm. According to what she had read, these prisons were meant to be eternal punishments for the Fae in question, robbed of even the release of death. Hermione shivered at that thought. Perpetually alone without any friends save for possibly the ones you create yourself.

That left binding. She had honestly hoped that there had been others that Victoria had tormented. That way, she could just have bound her to help others in repayment for how badly she had treated them before. However as Hermione was the only one that Victoria had tormented and it really had been her own over reaction to the whole situation into the mess it now was, Hermione was left with the incredibly real possibility that she was going to have a very unwanted servant if she wasn’t careful. Merlin, she may have an unwanted servant even if she crossed all the ‘t’s and dotted every single ‘i’. 

“You mentioned Kith,” Hermione finally said. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s our breed of Fae,” Victoria explained. “Though Fae are interfertile with Humans, we are a separate type of being. Even Part-Fae are as like humans as Goblins or Veela are like Witches and Wizards. Every Fae is part of a Kith and a court. The kith is determined by our heritage and our court by our personal ethos. For example, I am a Beast Kith within the Spring Court. This means that my bloodline associates with the animal world giving me attachment to them and that I feed best from those that desire me.”

“What do you mean associates with the animal world?”

Victoria groaned. “In order for me to explain that I’d need to take off my trousers.”

It was then that Hermione realised that Victoria was indeed wearing pants and that as long as Hermione could recall, the girl always wore pants along with some type of heel. She also noticed that those same pants looked to be made of silk as was her blouse and why had she never noticed her clothing before it had been mentioned? It wasn’t like she had not thought of her as clothed, but if she had always worn such nice and admittedly pricey clothes before, then someone would have commented. Hermione was sure she definitely would have commented.

Before Hermione’s mind could go even further into the perplexities of why she had never noticed Victoria’s impractically expensive wardrobe, the girl began removing it. Well the pants anyway. Hermione found herself frozen in a bit of detached fascination as she was treated to the view of Victoria’s bare bum and legs which were covered in fine hair the same color as what was on Victoria’s head. Hermione could also make out that her feet were much longer than initially realized, sticking out somewhat past the girl’s sandals. The final piece that caught Hermione’s attention was the long fuzzy tail that wrapped around her waist and somewhat covered her private area.

Victoria’s nervous voice brought Hermione back to her senses. “All those of the Beast Kith have an affinity for and the traits of a certain animal. My animal is a dormouse. I am able to hide the ears under my hair and the markings under my eyes with makeup, but everything else takes a bit of magic. Also, unnatural clothes tend to make me itch and I keep having this compulsion to nibble on cotton. Mum taught me some spells so people don’t notice what I’m wearing and don’t think about me not going out for gym and such, but it’s still a bit to hide. You can not imagine the letters Mum got about me wearing heels in the third grade.”

“The tail must be uncomfortable as well,” Hermione commented.”

Victoria shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to it and since all the boys see is my arse and not the tail occasionally twitching in the trousers there normally isn’t a problem.”

Hermione smirked. “So you only worry about men checking you out.”

Victoria blinked. “Who else would check me out?”

“Ever hear about Lesbians and bisexuals?” At Victoria’s confused expression, Hermione elaborated. “There are women who are attracted to the female form. Those who are attracted to both men and women, be they themselves men or women are called bisexual. Those that are attracted to women exclusively are Lesbians. Has no one ever explained this to you before?”

“No,” Victoria responded in no small amount of shock. “You mean there is an entire portion of the population I could have been feeding off of and no one told me? That sucks.”

“So this doesn’t bother you?” Hermione asked. “You’re not creeped out by the thought of some other woman checking you out?”

“Why would I be?” Victoria asked. “It’s not as if they could ever touch me without permission. That was another charm that Mother taught me.”

Hermione was becoming extremely concerned. “What did your mother teach you about sex? Oh and please pull up your pants. As much as I’d enjoy a free show, I want you to be aware of the reasons behind my reaction.”

Victoria blinked and complied before responding. “Well, all she really told me was that it was messy, hurt a bit and that if she caught me doing it before I was married then she would feed me to a balrog.”

Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. “Now I understand the line in the dealing with the Fae book. I find myself wishing I hadn’t had to.” She took a breath and decided to plow on through the situation. “Alright, I have looked into the treaties between the Magical world and the Fae which was easy as they were all in my ‘Dealing with the Fae’ book, and I can say without any hesitation that you haven’t broken any treaties.” Hermione smirked at the look of relief on the girl’s face and felt a bit of vindictive glee that she was about to bring her world crashing down. “However, due to the fact that you offered up a compact before knowing this and that you felt that some recompense was due, we still have to come to some agreement on what to do about your actions. Also since you said I could have anything, that means it is up to me to determine what I receive in return for not telling your mum that you’re an annoying little shite.”

Hermione paused for a three count as she regarded the fidgeting Fae in front of her. “My first thought had just been to bind you into doing good to repay all the bad you had done to others, but as you only picked on me that seems unduly unfair to you. Next I was considering just spanking your bare arse and letting things play out from there, but Roxie is asleep upstairs and I really don’t want to ruin things with her. I don’t want to exile you and killing seems ridiculously extreme for what happened. As information on Fae is extremely sketchy even with other Magicals, I suppose it would behoove me to ask if there is some other form of arrangement that could be made beyond binding you to serve me for the rest of my life.”

Victoria licked her lips. “What’s wrong with the whole spanking thing?”

Hermione raised an eyebrow. “It often leads to other things that I’m not certain you’re prepared for.”

“Such as?”

“Your mother feeding you to a Balrog.”

***  
Dean and a very red faced Tracey arrived at the DMLE only to find the entire place in disarray. Aurors and clerks were running back and forth everywhere with stacks of forms and almost every thirty seconds had a call for either Veritaserum or a licensed Leglimens. It was a half-hour past their appointment time before anyone could meet with them. Much to their surprise it was none other than the Head of the DMLE herself Amelia Bones.

“I apologize for the delay,” the Director replied as she sat with the two teens. “Ms. Davis’ tip led to a dramatic result and a bit of a conundrum. The official story which will be released is that due to the diligent work of our Aurors and actionable intelligence from an anonymous source the DMLE was able to take down twenty-seven Death Eaters along with their leader who has been confirmed via Veritaserum to indeed be one Tom Marvolo Riddle, the last living descendant of the Gaunt family and the very much Muggle family of Riddle. Due to the hard work of everyone involved, There will be no dispensation of an order of Merlin and the reward money for the capture of Riddle is to be divided amongst the DMLE as needed per the arresting officer’s request.”

Both teens blinked and looked at each other before looking back at Madam Bones. “Okay,” Tracey drawled, “What does that mean for me?”

Madam Bones smirked. “I said that is the official story. As for what is really happening, Mr. Potter delivered a Gringotts draft in the amount of twenty-five million Galleons to the DMLE this morning. His only request was that we use the money to ensure that the people of Great Britain were made as safe as possible while staying as free as the Statute of Secrecy and Her Majesty’s government will allow. As it was addressed to the DMLE and not to the Ministry, I have full discretion as to how it is to be distributed. In doing this, I will also use it to hide the reward that will be given to you, Miss Davis, for information leading to the arrest of Tom Riddle and his group of terrorists. As the arresting Auror did indeed refuse an Order of Merlin and absolutely balked at the full reward for the capture of Riddle, we came to the compromise of her taking half and you receiving the remaining half.”

“And that is?” Tracey asked nervously.

“Your share amounts to twenty-five thousand Galleons.”

Tracey blinked twice before fainting. Dean looked at the girl next to him for a few seconds before turning back to Madam Bones. “I think you may have broken her.”

“That may give us time to discuss your intentions toward Miss Davis,” Madam Bones replied. “I have noted here by Auror Jones that you have given her open permission to stay at the residence you own in Wye, Kent. She thought nothing of this as she believed that this was your primary residence and your mother would be present to insure proper decorum. When my research revealed that this was a recent acquisition of yours and that your mother continued to reside in your previous residence in London, I became concerned. That concern deepened when I was informed that you had recently taken a heritage test and learned that you were not a Muggleborn as previously believed but a half blood and heir to four separate families. So it is both as an Auror and a guardian that knows the fears of parents everywhere I must ask you just what your intentions are towards Miss Davis?”

Dean looked at Madam Bones in confusion. “What do you mean? I mean yeah, I said she could stay at my place, but she had just lost everything. Likewise she needed clothes and I just had a windfall drop in my lap from the bounty on those Death Eaters. I didn’t need the money, so I let her use it to pick some things up. The Goblins are still assessing the whole mess from that heritage test, thank you Mr. Potter, so I have no idea what all is entailed there and may take losing half my estate as a bargain and consolidate them. I know for damn sure I don’t want to marry four women. As for Mum not moving in with me, that was her idea. Something about learning to be my own man while I still had her to ask for advice. She was emancipated at sixteen herself and thought I could use some independence.”

“And what about the debts that Miss Davis owes to you?” Madam Bones asked. “How do you intend to address them?”

“What debts?” Dean asked.

“The debts Miss Davis owes you for saving her and taking her in,” Madam Bones explained, “How do you intend to address them?”

“Wait. What?”

 

Madam Bones sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why is it always so difficult with Muggle raised? Mister Thomas, are you telling me you rescued Miss Davis and great risk to your life and not expecting any reward or compensation?”

Dean shrugged. “Well, it was just the right thing to do.” He absently reached over and gently moved Tracey slightly so that she wouldn’t get a crick in her neck. “It’s common decency. You see someone in trouble, you help them out. I mean the reward was handy since Tracey pretty much lost everything and it was kinda funny seeing her lose her mind in Selfridges, but no I didn’t really think of anything but helping out a fellow magical.”

“And you just decided to spend two thousand Galleons on a girl you hardly knew.”

“Some of it was actually for groceries and I did give Mum a few hundred quid to help with her bills, but yeah. She was down on her luck and needed a hand.”

Amelia winced and sighed. “Mr. Thomas, there are reasons that the magical world isn’t as quick to step in and lend assistance. There are many old customs that have become enforced by magic and are ingrained in pureblood society so much that they are not thought of in the course of normal day to day living. The most primary of these is that nothing is given for free. For every action there must be a corresponding action by the other party. The very magic in our being compels us to do this.”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow,” Dean replied nervously. 

“Let us use this situation as an example.” Madam Bones said evenly. “You saved Miss Davis from an attack by four Death Eaters at great personal risk to yourself. If you had not intervened, Miss Davis would likely had been killed. Whether rape or torture would have been conducted first, Miss Davis at the very least owes you her life. Later, you offer her shelter without any intention of her paying you back and furthermore pay from your own pocket to clothe and feed her without any thought of recompense. Irregardless of where said monies came from, you have taken on her well being as your responsibility and she must repay that kindness with service in kind. These debts are enforced by magic and no currency save for the service of the debtor to the one owed can repay them.”

Dean frowned. “That makes no sense. If that’s the case then why doesn’t all of Britain owe Harry for offing snake-face back in eighty-one? And what about Aurors? Wouldn’t they have dozens of debts owed to them if this were true?”

“Aurors swear an oath of service that negates the debts,” clarified Madam Bones. “As for Mr. Potter, the debt is only earned by saving an individual or small group of people. I do recall that he had three life debts that were owed to him that he resolved recently. He solved one by declaring the first, a Ms. Hermione Granger, his sister in all but blood. As family can not earn a life debt from each other adopting her into his family settled that matter. The second was rescinded by his request that his second life debt serve as a protector for another sister in all but blood, Ms. Luna Lovegood. As debt can be transferred amongst declared family, there was no issue to this and the one who owed the life debt, Miss Ginevra Weasley, was more than happy to serve as her girlfriend’s protector.”

Dean winced. “And I’m suddenly glad I’m not in Ravenclaw.”

Madam Bones continued on as if she hadn’t heard him. “As for the third, Mr. Potter has declared that there is nothing the man could possibly give him that would forgive the debt save for ending his own miserable life. That man, Tom Marvolo Riddle may in time be able to offer that but only at the Wizengamot’s discretion.”

“Bloody hell,” Dean muttered. “I don’t want her to feel she needs to be nice to me. I mean, I’d like to get to know her and see if things could progress but I don’t want her to feel she has to do it.”

“And she won’t,” Madam Bones responded kindly. “You can demand service from her yes, but you can not demand affection or friendship. Her emotions are her own as are her choices. It just comes with the caveat that she knows she is indebted to you.” The director’s gaze shifted towards Tracey. “Isn’t that right Miss Davis.”

Tracey winced and cracked open an eye. “In my defense, I tried to get him to stop as much as I was able but he’s just too bloody nice.”

The director snorted. “I believe that in time that you will find that nice young men are infinitely preferable to the dangerous men of action. While it is possible to give a nice man a bit of an edge and steel, it is far more difficult to give a rabble rouser an iota of civility.” She then pulled out a pair of forms and handed one to each teen. “Mr. Thomas, this is your authorization for a permanent floo connection. I am using my authority to have it placed on the secured list. I recommend a nondescript address to aid in security. Miss Davis, this is your waver for a new wand. I am also putting in for a variance for the two of you through the end of summer, though I expect you not to abuse the privilege I am giving the two of you. Just because you are allowed to use magic does not excuse you from the Statute of Secrecy or any other law. Am I understood?”

“Yes Ma’am,” both teens immediately answered.

The Director nodded and gestured towards the door. “I took the liberty of having your reward sent to your family vault. I believe that the Goblins will have some papers for you to fill out and I have already fast tracked your emancipation papers. Auror Jones will be by in a couple days to check in on the two of you. Feel free to contact the Ministry of Magic regarding any concerns you may have and any other empty platitudes I am supposed to say at the moment as you leave my office. Oh and have a pleasant day.”

Both teens blinked and stood before silently leaving the office. Dean thought to turn back and ask where he was to deliver the Floo request form when the door slammed in his face. “Ow.”

***

Tonks sighed as she brought the latest meal to her new assignment for the foreseeable future. As she was the only person on the Auror corps that did not outright hate the man and as it had become common knowledge that she was the one that had managed to take down Tom Riddle aka He-Who-Plays-Stupid-Word-Games aka the absolute dumbest expression of her screwed up luck ever, it had been determined that she would be on protection detail for the Auror Corps’ newest potions master, Severus Snape. Since the man was never to leave the apartment suite and adjoining potions lab that had been set aside for him after he turned on both his former masters, it was all in all a completely boring assignment. Merlin, the only way to and from the place was through a floo address that was under a fidelius with Amelia Bones as the secret keeper. 

Honestly, she was beginning to regret ever becoming an Auror. She made her way through the floo and was just stepping out when she noticed her Aunt Narcissa, obvious blonde dye-job and all, coming out of Snape’s chambers adjusting her robe. This obviously caused the young Auror to stagger step and barely keep from sending the potion master’s meal from falling towards the floor. “Aunt Cissa?” she blurted out.

Narcissa Malfoy looked up in shock and smiled nervously. “Nymphadora, what are you doing here?”

“I’m Snape’s protection detail,” Tonks deadpanned, letting the personal slight slide for the moment. “What are you doing here?”

“Visiting an old friend,” responded Snape’s baritone voice from the room beyond. “Madam Bones was kind enough to allow me a select number of visitors and Narcissa was just leaving.” The Potions Master came out of his room wearing a black silk shirt and slacks. He sat at the table and looked up with a raised eyebrow and asked, “Well? Am I to be allowed to eat or are you going to hold my meal hostage all day?”

Tonks started and put the meal in front of him, which the man tore into quickly. She nervously looked between the two, unsure of what she had walked in on but certain that Narcissa looked more than a little disheartened by Snape’s brusk manner. Just as she was about to say something, Narcissa spoke up. “I’ll see you in a week?”

Snape merely gave a curt nod and continued eating. Tonks watched incredulously as her normally self assured and somewhat arrogant aunt stepped through the floo and disappeared. The young Auror turned and glared at the potions master. “Well that was certainly civilized,” she all but spat. “Couldn’t you at least have had the courtesy to wish her farewell?”

Snape wiped his mouth and looked at her. “And just what would be the point of that?” he asked. “So that she could cling to some delusion that she was anything more than a pleasant distraction from my gilded cage? Perhaps to feed her fairytale of me swooping in and rescuing her from the sham marriage her mother forced her into? I have a life sentence Auror Tonks. There is nothing in my future save for potions research and the occasional tryst with a desperately lonely married woman of questionable morality. That your aunt is but one of the three that I have access to is of little concern to me.”

“Three!” Tonks screeched. “Do they know about each other?”

Snape rolled his eyes in exasperation. “What would it matter if they did? I am not into having more than one person easing my urges at any one time thus there would be little need for them to be here at the same time.”

“You’re having sex with three different women and they don’t know about each other.” Tonks was personally offended on behalf of women everywhere. “Aside from the fact that sleeping with multiple women without full disclosure is inherently wrong, there is also the fact that they may catch something from one of their spouses and through you spread it to the other two.”

Snape snorted. “Narcissa hasn’t slept with Lucius since Draco was born, Eleanor Parkinson lost her husband to his brother and had to conceive Pansy through use of a potion, and Vivianne Addison was married to a man twice her age just so there would be someone to look after his children. The only things the three of them share besides their passable ability to sate my needs is a total lack of companionship of the masculine persuasion outside of myself.”

“Well aren’t you just a prince,” Tonks sneered.

“By blood on my mother’s side as a matter of fact,” he drawled. “So what horrific deed have you done to earn my company?”

“I caught Voldemort,” she said with a sigh.

“Indeed,” Snape replied with a snort.

“Accidentally hit him with a door when he was coming out of the loo,” Tonks goaded the potion’s master. “He’s currently in a little glass box after the Unspeakables carved all these magic suppression thingies into his body. They even used some of your veritaserum to get him to sing like a canary. They’re going to try him next week then throw him through the veil.”

“Oh?” Snape was intrigued. “And just why are they bothering with the trial?”

“Dumbledore pushed for it,” Tonks said with a shrug. “He wants an actual vote so people have to face themselves as they sentence a man to death. At least that’s what he’s told everyone. Personally I think that if he was ever interested in justice then he would have gotten Sirius a trial. Anyway, there’s going to be a trial. Dumbledore is forbidden from being in Tom’s presence. The Dork Lord will be witness to events via a two way magic mirror. Then once everybody is satisfied and the votes are taken, He-who-must-die-in-shame will be shoved through the veil, glass box and all.”

Snape looked at her for a second before blinking. “You’re serious.”

“Unfortunately,” she muttered. “Even though my ‘victory’, no matter how accidental, has been declared a state secret thus prohibiting anyone from divulging what I did or how I did it without Director Bones or my permission, she’s still worried that it may get out and then every idiot with a desire to make a name for themselves will come out of the woodworks looking for me.” A soft sigh escaped her lips. “I only became an Auror so I could legally crack some skulls and now I won’t even get to do that anymore.”

“Miss Tonks, are you not a Metamorphmagus?”

Tonks glared at him. “You know bloody damn well I’m one. What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Why not just assume someone’s form and then go beat people up til your heart’s content?” The potions master leaned back in contemplation. “For that matter, why has no one ever thought to use Polyjuice to do something similar? An average mugging or assault only takes at most fifteen to twenty minutes. You could potion up, roll the mark and be on your way while some other poor fool took the blame.”

“That is incredibly thought out and equally disturbing,” Tonks replied. “Did you just come up with that?”

Snape nodded absently. “Though not a violent man by nature, I do like to amuse myself from time to time by considering how to commit certain crimes and get away with them. The Dark Lord often found my theories amusing, likely another reason I was not required to participate in some of the more unsavory parts of being a Death Eater.”

“Just when I think you can’t be any more depraved, you have to prove me wrong.” Tonks shook her head in disgust and made her way back to the floo. “Oh, Madam Bones wanted me to remind you that you are not to use the floo for more than communication and if you should happen to decide you simply must leave anywhere other than the DMLE will result in your untimely demise. So by all means feel free to go wherever you want.”

Snape simply raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were my protection detail.”

“I’m just supposed to make sure no one else kills you. If you feel like killing yourself then by all means be my guest.” She took a handful of floo powder and gave him a meaningful look. “Just because I don’t personally want to kill you doesn’t mean I won’t sit down with a nice big bowl of popcorn and watch you off yourself. Something to consider.”

***

The Quibbler Special Edition

Dark Lord Riddle Captured! Asian Performance Icon Yuno Hu No Longer Banned In Britain! Offers Special Free Performance in Diagon Alley! Dark Lord Dumbledore Still Able to Defy Authorities!

Parker Olsen Reporting

***

Neville chuckled as he read what was becoming his favorite wizarding periodical. While the Quibbler’s new star reporter was definitely making a splash. With a canny mix of well checked facts, impressive investigation and clever innuendo, the enigmatic and secretive reporter had moved his paper leaps and bounds beyond the competition in regards of claiming the gulf in journalism left by the Prophet’s being shut down. 

His greatest achievement had been the step by step demonstration that proved empirically that Professor Dumbledore was indeed a Dark Lord and may have been responsible for not only the rise of Grindelwald and Voldemort but also several lesser evils that had plagued not only Britain and the Continent but also Sub-Saharan Africa and Australia. The vast reach of Dumbledore’s tainted touch stretched far and wide throughout the ICW. Only Eastern Asia and the Americas, both of which heavily restricted ICW travel and trade, seemed to be free of Dumbledore’s taint. 

Of course the heavy slanted reporting could be easily be countered. Dumbledore had taught almost every member of the British elite either as a professor or as Headmaster. Yes, he had taught the likes of Death Eaters and even their master, but he had also instructed the men and women who fought those self same Death Eaters as well as potioneers and healers who went on to cure or treat some of the deadliest wizarding ailments of the twentieth century. For every Snape creating disaster there was a Lily Potter pushing the boundaries of modern thought.

Neville sighed ruefully as he put the paper down. It always ended up like this. First he would chuckle at Olsen’s over the top reporting then end up mentally trying to pick it apart and finally end up conflicted about the people he had been raised to idolize and respect. Even his Gran hadn’t been left untouched by Olsen’s pen. His scathing wit and pointed questions always had a way of forcing Wizarding Britain to do its least favorite activity, thinking. Yet his writing was so engaging that people just couldn’t help but pick it up.

His mood changed as he saw the person he had been waiting for approach. He stood and bowed politely to his girlfriend before helping her take her seat. “You look lovely as always,” he whispered as he placed a kiss on her cheek.

“And as always you flatter,” Hannah replied before glancing at the paper on the table. “Parker Olsen striking again?”

Neville chuckled. “He’s actually praising the DMLE this time. Apparently they caught most of the Death Eaters during a raid along with their leader.”

Hannah grunted in surprise as she looked over the article. “I’ve never heard of this Yuno Hu.”

“She’s a Chinese performance artist that Su Li introduced to Luna who in turn introduced Harry, Hermione and me,” Neville explained with a smirk. “She’s rather entertaining. Something like Celestina Warbeck mixed with Wyrd Sister and a dash of opera and modern dance. It’s sure to be an experience for everyone.”

Hannah raised an eyebrow. “Something about that smirk worries me. What are you and Harry planning?”

Neville snorted. “Harry and I are only paying for the production cost. I’m just hoping that we can pick up on his mother’s attempts at dragging our society into the modern era. Did you know that British is an insult to most of the rest of the wizarding world? It means ignorant.”

Hannah sighed. “I’d like to argue but I can’t stand most Wizard music and have an entire CD library at home filled with Muggle music. So where are you planning to take me to on this mystery date you planned for us and why did I have to clear a weekend and bring a passport?”

Neville only grinned and picked up his tea. 

“At least tell me if I have to pack.”

“I’ll just pay for any clothing you’ll need,” Neville responded casually.

“Even knickers?” Hannah challenged.

“I’m sure they’ll look fetching at the foot of our bed,” Neville shot back.

“My aren’t we confident.”

“Remind me again who tricked who into signing a marriage contract? One which I might add was consummated by me being awakened in the middle of the night by surprise fellatio.”

Hannah blushed and looked around. “Alright, not my most noble moment but you were taking too long.”

“I only said I didn’t want our first time to be in a Hogwarts dorm or under my Gran’s roof,” the Longbottom heir protested. “In point of fact that was part of the reason for this little getaway. I wanted to treat you as special as I see you.”

“That’s really nice and sweet Neville,” Hannah assured him, “but none of that is necessary for it to be special to me. All I want is to wake up next to you.”

“So I should just refund the tickets to Majorca that Harry helped me get?”

“Oh hell no,” Hannah responded. “If that’s where we’re going then you better brush up on your notice me not charms, Lord Longbottom because I can guarantee that you’re getting shagged on the beach.”

Neville grinned blushing. “I’m not actually a lord until after I marry.”

She grabbed his hand and began dragging him towards the floo. “I’m pretty sure we can get the Chief Witch to officiate and Uncle Rufus will witness if he knows what’s good for him.”

***

At its heart, the purpose of art is to provoke a reaction in your audience. Be that reaction revulsion or ovation, the effect is unimportant so long as there is an effect. Why should architecture and interior design be exempt from this? Why should we say that the only way to express oneself is through sculpture or painting? Why can’t my house be my sculpture? Why can’t my walls be my canvas?

It was in this endeavor that I began my project houses based on concepts that were important to me. I received nothing but positive response from the Liberty, Hope, and Promise houses with each being purchased within a month of their showing. Likewise, if the Love house hadn’t been already spoken for by my husband I am certain that it would have flown off the market. 

Still people are surprised that I refuse to change the Pleasure house due to all the negative critiques and calls of outrage. That it has gotten a reaction was good enough for me and as my husband indulges my artistic vision I am under no need to actually sell these homes. Perhaps in the future, my son will take possession of it and decide to demolish it. If so, then that is his prerogative. Until that time, I will leave it as it is and hope that others see my vision and the beauty in my expression of pleasure. 

Lily Potter, Designing for the Senses

***

Dean blinked and looked up from the book and towards Tracey. “Wow, and you believe that Harry gave me the Pleasure house.”

Tracey gave him an incredulous stare. “You haven’t noticed all the suggestive work all over the house?”

Dean shrugged and grinned. “Mum tried to shove modern art down my throat for several years. After a while the really graphic stuff just got tuned out. I mean if I actually pay attention then I’ll see it, but casual observation just sort of glosses over. It broke Seamus’ heart when he realized that I really wasn’t noticing him playing with himself when I walked into a room.”

“Wait, Finnigan’s gay?”

“Finnigan is ‘yes please. Oh that sheep looks promising.’” Dean tried not to laugh at Tracey’s expression as he took another pull from his butterbeer. They had decided that a brief break at the Leaky Cauldron before they visited the Goblins was in order, both so Tracey could explain to Dean just what his house may be and how they wanted to work out their living arrangements. Dean had also suggested that perhaps Tracey may want to contact at the very least Daphne, but the girl had nixed that idea. It somehow bothered Dean that Tracey would one minute declare kinship with the Greengrasses and then act like she wanted nothing to do with them. There was something he was missing.

“So,” Tracey began, “how do you want to handle this?”

Dean paused and contemplated the issues at hand. “You are still invited to stay as long as you want,” he answered. “Just know that I don’t expect anything from you and that if you simply wish to be friends then that is fine by me.”

 

Tracey raised an eyebrow. “So you don’t find me attractive?”

“Oh I find you drop dead gorgeous and am sorely tempted by the possibilities of the whole debt thing,” he answered immediately. “It’s just that I could never look my mother in the eye again or at myself in the mirror if I ever took advantage of it. And you got to admit there are a lot of mirrors in that house.”

Tracey snorted. “Good answer.” She leaned back and took a pull off her own butterbeer before continuing. “I’m going to be upfront with you Dean. I’m attracted to you. The whole sensitive artist thing aside, I’m not sure you’ve noticed the distinct lack of diversity in the wizarding world.”

“You mean being one of seven black people in a school with a population of over a thousand and all of the other minorities are first generation?” Dean asked with a grin. “Yeah, it’s occurred to me.”

Tracey licked her lips. “Well it’s mostly the fault of pureblood society, which is also why I don’t want to deal with Daphne, Stori, or Desdemona at the moment. Anything new or different tends to get pushed out and made to feel unwelcome. In point of fact, if there wasn’t a section in the Hogwarts charter that required the best and brightest muggleborns to be accepted at Hogwarts, there likely wouldn’t be anyone at the school who wasn’t at least a half-blood and those of other ethnicities don’t fare any better. While I’m sure that there is a higher percentage of minorities in some of the trade schools, the sad fact of the matter is that most wizards and witches of minority status head out of the country with a rare few like Kingsley Shacklebolt and Aurora Sinestra refusing to be bullied by small minded bigots. 

“That being said,” she continued after taking another pull from her bottle, “There are some of us that have found ourselves intrigued and attracted to what has become exotic in our world. I’ll admit that I’ve always found you fanciable and did my best to admire you from afar, but due to the prejudices of my house and to a lesser extent my family, I’ve had to be discrete about it.”

“So you think I’m hot because I’m black?”

Tracey groaned and buried her face in her hands. “Oh Merlin, that does sound so shallow. I found you interesting because you were different. I found you attractive because you are, your exotic nature in my world just adding a bit of that forbidden fruit appeal to it. In the last day, I have found the bit of your nature that I was able to experience first hand to be even more appealing and between my hormones and this bloody debt have been sorely tempted to jump you and ride you like a hippogriff. What I’m trying to say is that I like you and would like to get to know you, but also that if you were open to a slight bit of shallow exploration and frivolous sex that I wouldn’t be opposed to that either.”

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “How the bloody hell did you wind up in Slytherin being that upfront?”

“I had a bad day,” she grumbled. “Beginning with Mother’s morning routine of all men are evil and continuing through to my bitch sister and Desdemona talking about all the bloody foreigners followed by a string of bigoted crap from various and sundry others I had been sat with, I was contemplating poisoning them all and enjoying a year of peace and quiet. The hat thought that showed more ambition than actual brains so put me in Slytherin. It’s other choice was Ravenclaw. I’m not particularly brave by any stretch of the imagination and I’m only loyal to those who show me loyalty.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “And who does that list include?”

“Currently you, Blaise Zabini and Millicent Bulstrode.” Tracey sighed and composed herself. “I don’t make friends easily. So getting back to the initial issue, what are your thoughts?”

“Well,” Dean drawled, “I’m not sure how I feel about the friends with benefits angle.” At Tracey’s confused look he explained. “That’s a muggle term for friends who occasionally have sex with each other. Mum taught me that sex is a bit of a commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Even now that we have access to one hundred percent effective contraception and are mostly immune to muggle venereal diseases, I’m not sure I want to treat sex as a handshake.”

“Wait, Muggles have a term for this?”

“Well yeah. Several actually. Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Booty call. Hooking up. Fun time friends. Piece on the sly...though that last one is usually meant to denote a mistress. Muggles tend to be more open about sex than most magicals I’ve seen.” Dean looked back at the book then snorted. “That’s probably why everyone had such a snit about Lily Potter’s designs. She was practically an exhibitionist in their eyes.”

“Why do you do that?” Tracey asked curiously.

“Do what?”

“Lump us all in together,” Tracey clarified. “I’ve noticed other muggleborns do that as well. They don’t differentiate between purebloods or half-bloods or even wizard and Goblin. It’s almost always magical and Muggle. Like there’s not further distinction. Why is that?”

Dean blinked at her in confusion. “Is there really a need? I mean either you are part of the magical world or you’re not. Why does there need to be a greater distinction? I mean yeah, there are some people that need to be treated carefully, like Werewolves and Vampires needing to make sure they don’t hurt anyone and Veela have bad girlfriend written all over them but essentially you just need to focus on what we have in common rather than our differences.”

“I never thought about it like that,” Tracey responded with more than a little surprise. “I guess it helps not being raised in wizarding society.”

“A little,” Dean commented. “Of course there are all sorts of weird hurdles that we muggleborns face in society simply by not knowing what toes we’re stepping on. SInce we’re introduced at age eleven, we don’t even know what questions to ask or who to ask them. That’s something that’s stuck in mine, Hermione’s and Harry’s craw for quite a while. Why isn’t there a wizarding etiquette class for muggleborn first years and why is Muggle Studies not taught until third year and then by a woman who has never dealt with Muggles in their life? It almost completely hit the fan a month ago when Harry found out the only way he could press charges on Weasley for poisoning Hermione was to adopt her as his sister. DId you know she had no legal standing due to the fact that she was considered a Muggleborn?”

Tracey blinked. “No I didn’t. I thought that Dumbledore was supposed to be looking out for them.”

Dean shook his head. “It’s a loophole in the system. Muggleborns are supposed to be watched over by their Head of House acting as their in loco parentis, but the Deputy Headmistress as part of the central staff is forbidden from serving as in loco parentis for anyone out of concern of them showing favoritism. Professor McGonagall has been collecting two paychecks while only doing one and a half jobs. However, without a head of house looking out for us, all we little Muggleborns in Gryffindor were pretty much screwed if someone wanted to do us harm before age seventeen.”

“That’s horrible.”

“Yeah,” Dean said with a scowl. “Expect quite a few changes come September first. When Dowager Longbottom learned of that, Neville said she blew her stack. With that and all the Death Eaters that were on the board of Governors in detention, I expect Dumbledore will have quite a bit of explaining to do.”

Tracey nodded then groaned. “We’ve gotten off topic again.”

Dean chuckled again and stood holding out his hand. “How about this. You are free to stay in my house as long as you wish. In that time we will get to know each other and if something happens then it happens. I will not pressure you and you will have no need to prove yourself to me. Come September first, we’ll either board the Express as friends or we’ll go our separate ways as if nothing happened. Deal?”

Tracey shook her head and smiled before taking Dean’s hand and standing herself. “Deal. Now let’s go see what has to be done at Gringotts.”

***

Little did the two notice the two off duty Gringotts employees listening in at the next table. Bill Weasley was struck by how little he knew about what was being said. The throwaway comment about Veela being bad girlfriends especially hit close to home. He turned to his fellow curse breaker who had been listening in. “So Nick, what do you think about Delacour?”

Nick snorted. “I really hope you’re not as serious as I think you are mate. She ain’t what I would call the faithful kind.”

Bill frowned. “What do you mean? Is it just because she’s a Veela?”

Nick shook his head. “Nah, it’s because I saw her snoggin’ a girl two weeks ago.”

“Where?” Bill asked, unsure if he was more angry or intrigued. 

“Just outside the service entrance to the bank. Let me tell you, that girl she was gettin’ it on wit’ was dem hot and they were all over each other.”

Bill growled and stood up, throwing the coin for his meal on the table. There was a certain girlfriend he needed to straighten some things out with.

***

Dear Dumbledore,

Yes, I heard that Tom was captured. I congratulate the DMLE on their expert execution of a masterful raid put together through proper use of actionable intelligence. Isn’t it amazing what can be done when all parties involved know what is going on. Imagine how much more quickly this mess would have been concluded if certain people didn’t keep secrets. Imagine all the lives that could have been saved if a certain individual saw people as people instead of chess pieces. 

No I will not speak on Tom’s behalf, though neither will I speak against him. I will allow the evidence to decide the outcome. I for one will allow the wheels of justice to proceed unlike certain meddling bastards that would better serve the world as worm food. I know you are going to mention the prophecy, but as the only people that believe that prophecy are two deluded old men who never took a divination class in their lives you’ll have to excuse me if I think it’s a load of Skrewt shite. Wait, I take that back. Skrewt shite may actually be useful. 

As for my location, I will reiterate what I said to Neville when he asked what to say when you inevitably came by. If you are able to find me, then by all means you are welcome to visit. The corollary to that being that if you can’t find me then what makes you think a bunch of hopped up near squibs can do it? As it stands, I am perfectly safe and am for the first time in my life happy. Also, if you were so sure that the power the dark lord knows not is love, then shouldn’t I be getting as much experience with it as possible? You know, in case ol’ Tommy boy manages to get free and still need to be put down like the rabid dog he is.

As it stands, are you sure that Tom is the Dark Lord of the prophecy? I understand there is currently more than one. At least that wonderful new reporter Parker Olsen seems to think so. Perhaps you should look over your own actions over the last several years and make sure you are as lily white as you claim to be. You know for the greater good.

Go fuck yourself,

Harry James Potter, Head of the Ancient and Noble House of Potter

***  
Dear Lord Potter,

It is with some hesitation that I write to you. I am certain you are aware that after recent actions that my son was installed as Head of House Black and Malfoy. Unfortunately as both of those Houses were depleted of their funds by the previous Lord Black, as was his right, the Dark Lord expressed his displeasure by executing both my husband and then my son. I was spared due to the Dark Lord taking a loo break and my rapid departure before Aurors showed up. There is a complication that has arisen in that my son was executed before he was able to cast you out of the House of Black and therefore all of the properties belonging to him now revert to the next in line to the title. As there is now only one male in the House of Black, you, I regret to inform you that you are once again Head of the Ancient and Noble House of Black as well as the new Head of House Malfoy. 

I confess to you that I have never taken the mark and did not believe in the teachings of the Dark Lord. I was only in place due to my duty to the House of Black and the marriage contract that required me to marry that man and bear him a child. I throw myself on your mercy and will accept any judgement that you deem prudent. 

Your faithful servant,

Narcissa Black

P. S. Is it true what they say about your...prowess?

***

Dear Ms. Black,

I will call a family meeting a week before the start of Hogwarts term. Currently there are other matters that require my attention and they must be dealt with first. I have sent word to the Goblins for you to be given a small stipend to tide you over until then. I have also arranged for you to stay with your niece, Nymphadora Tonks. Yes, she told me about your indiscretions and while I’m disappointed I understand the pain of loneliness. Needless to say, you will cease all associations with any marked Death Eaters.

You will also be taken by Ms. Tonks some time in the next month to be examined by a healer at Saint Mungo’s. Aside from healer’s instructions, I am putting you in Ms. Tonks’ care and supervision until such time as the family meeting. 

As for your post script, I have decided to leave that to my intended Lady Potter to answer at her discretion. 

Sincerely,

Lord Potter

***

Dear Ms. Black,

I can barely walk sometimes and that is most definitely not a complaint. 

Sincerely, 

Katherine Bell, the intended Lady Potter

***

Hermione was smoking one of her painkillers as she let Roxie get the fit of giggles out of her system. Currently, her cousin was rolling on the ground in the back garden of her temporary residence. She had begun calling the Granger home that only in the last half hour after receiving the accounting of the Prince accounts and holdings. Apparently, in addition to liquid assets totaling just shy of one million Galleons and various rental properties that the Goblins had been caring for at the request of the previous Lord Prince. There was a manor house in Kent not far from the property that Harry had given Dean. 

As her life was becoming steadily more and more complicated, Hermione saw little need in burdening her adoptive family with much of the mess. More especially since this could have been found out years ago if they had so much as bothered to inform her of her adopted status. 

She glanced over at Crookshanks as her familiar was eyeing Roxie similarly to the way he normally eyed Hedwig or Harry. In other words, the half-kneazle was trying to decide if her adopted cousin/lover would be termed staff, comrade, plaything or threat to kitty treats. Harry usually floated between staff and plaything from Hermione’s perspective depending on whether Hedwig was around and the owl usually hovered between comrade and threat depending on if Crook realized when Hedwig was around while determining the staff/plaything status of Harry. 

Hermione just looked at her familiar and muttered, “She’s staying. Get used to it.”

The half-kneazle sniffed disdainfully and sauntered back into the house. Hermione only chuckled and turned her attention back to Roxie. 

“Are you done yet? I’d like to see what needs to be done before I can move in.”

“Sorry,” Roxie replied as she wiped her still mirthful eyes. “It’s just...you’re going to give the talk to a mouse-girl. Can you not see the humor in this? Especially after you telling me about turning into a cat-girl your second year. Oh, and then there is the list of tasks you decided to come up with. Are you sure it wouldn’t be easier to bind her to your service?”

Hermione frowned and took another drag. “Easier yes. Better, not really. If I bound her to my service then her mother would want to know why and the whole condition would mean that she would have to confess to being a bitch to me. As that is something she still doesn’t want to do and I really don’t want a mouse-girl serving wench no matter how much fun it may be to drill her with a strap-on, I had to come up with something that would satisfy magic but wouldn’t leave either of us beholden to each other.”

“But seven tasks?” Roxie said incredulously. “Why not three or five? They’re both magical numbers.”

“Because seven is the most magical,” Hermione replied. “And I may still be a tad miffed about the ‘Mangey Grangey’ signs in fourth grade. Besides, a little suffering is good for the soul.”

“And making her perform each task in the buff?”

“Oh that’s because I’m a fecking pervert,” Hermione responded with a grin. “If I’m already making my nemesis suffer for tormenting me, why not get a free show out of it.”

Roxie chuckled as she dusted herself off. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

“Oh I’ll just strap you down and shag you raw if you annoy me,” Hermione responded as she put out the pain killer. “Now how badly you annoy me will be the decider as if I work you up first or take you dry.” She held out the portkey ring that the Goblins had sent her to Roxie. “So, ready to go see our new home?”

Roxie smiled and took the other side of it. “Our home. Has a nice sound to it.”

“Yes, it does. Activate.”

***

Bill had finally caught up with his girlfriend of four months as she was coming out of a training session. She looked at him at first with a smile then a frown of confusion. “William, what is wrong?”

Bill paused as he tried to parse out what he wanted to say. “I heard something from one of my fellow curse breakers that I wanted to talk to you about.”

Fleur rolled her eyes and led him off to the side. “Nick told you he saw me kissing another woman.”

Bill nodded with a bit of a frown. “Yeah he did.”

“And you are wondering why I did not invite you?”

“No...Well yeah, that too.”

Fleur giggled. “It was Tonks and she thought our meeting was not approved by the Goblins. She heard someone coming and grabbed me. As I was not about to pass up the chance to make out with a Metamorphmagus, I went along with it. I did not tell you about it because I did not want you to be jealous of me.”

“Jealous of you?”

“Tell me that you wouldn’t want to feel up Nymphadora Tonks if you could get away with it.”

“Point.” Bill looked around and sighed. “To be honest I was feeling more than a bit jealous of Nick for a moment there.”

“Why is that?”

“He got to see two incredibly hot women making out,” Bill said with a lecherous grin. 

Fleur giggled and moved in close to her boyfriend. “Which would you rather: Seeing Nymphadora and I make out or join in us making love?”

Bill found himself momentarily thrown. “What?” 

Fleur wrapped her arms around the man she loved and whispered into his ear. “Nymphadora apologized for her forward advance on me, especially as there was no reason for her actions. She offered me anything to make up for it and I insisted on a menage a trois with you in apology to both of us. Would that soothe your hurt feelings?”

“What?”

Fleur bit her lip to keep from laughing. “She’s coming over this weekend. That isn’t going to be a problem is it?”

“What?”

She coughed to cover the snicker that escaped. “I intended it to be a surprise. Of course if you would rather just watch the two of us kiss then I suppose that I could tell her that instead.”

“No!” Bill almost cried out in terror before regaining her composure. “Um, no. I mean since plans have been made already then there is no need to change them. Just, if something like this happens again I’d rather find out from you than some pervy bloke that just happened to walk by.”

“Of course my love,” Fleur demurred. “I’m just sorry your surprise got ruined.”

“Well, no harm no foul,” Bill said with a nervous laugh. “See you tonight?”

“Of course. Should I bring the maids outfit?”

Bill’s eyes glazed over for a second before coming back to his senses. “Uh yeah, sure. Well, I’ve got to go finish my shift and you have training to get back to.”

Fleur smirked as Bill walked away. She flipped open a communication and whispered into it, “Ingenue to Havok, phase one of project blue ball wolf in progress. Are there any further instructions?”

“Nah,” the voice answered back. “Are you sure you’re okay with sharing with Tripsy? I mean I could just as easily come up with another solution.”

“You are not taking her back after signing off on this Havok,” Fleur growled. “So hands off my piece of arse.”

“Okay! Okay! Sorry I asked. Havok out.”

Fleur snapped the mirror and huffed. “The nerve. First he’s immune to my allure and then he tries to meddle in my sex life. True he introduced me to Tonks, but one does not interfere in a Veela’s action.”

***

Guarding the front gate of Gringotts was never considered one of the most stressful jobs (that title was usually held by the Potter account manager) but it did happen to occasionally have its moments. The two guards currently were experiencing one of those moments as they saw three members of the Japanese Imperial Magical Guard making their way down Diagon Alley. Who they were was blindingly obvious at they were wearing their formal uniforms and walking in a delta formation. Even witches and wizards who had no idea who the women were quickly stepped aside at but a glare from the lead woman, a blonde that seemed to bear more than a passing resemblance to Her Imperial Majesty.

The two guards briefly looked at each other before one quickly ran in and informed the Director. The other prayed that they returned before he was required to face the ladies. Treaty or no, he had no desire to end up a greasy stain on the marble steps. 

Much to the Goblin’s relief, the Imperials merely stopped at the foot of the stairs and waited for the Director and his retinue to appear. They conversed briefly in their native tongue seemingly confident that their presence had been noticed and that the appropriate people had been notified. The harsh barks from the brunette and the angry looks she was giving the bank made the guard wish he could speak their language. Then again maybe not if the calculating looks of the others was anything to go by.

It only took a matter of moments before Director Blutwick was hurrying down the steps to the the three ladies. “Ambassador Aino,” he instantly demurred to the blonde as he stepped in front of her. “To what do we owe your presence?”

The blonde glared at the director. “Your agents have been snooping around one of the royal guard. They will cease and desist immediately or we will reconsider your current status as a neutral party. Am I understood?”

Blutwick blinked. “Which agent has violated our treaties?”

“The gaijin said he was working under orders from Jungfuhk,” the brunette snapped.

Blutwick signalled for the guards to go collect the Potter account manager. “I am almost certain this is a misunderstanding. Jungfuhk is an account manager and not a part of our investigative division. In point of fact, Jungfuhk is in charge of one of our most prestigious accounts and a traditionally light sided family.”

Jungfuhk nervously made his way down to the awaiting group and nervously looked at his uncle. “You need to see me Director?”

The director motioned to the trio of women. “These ladies inform me that you have been investigating one of their Imperial Guard. Is this true?”

Jungfuhk blinked in confusion. “I have only been trying to ascertain contact information for a Makoto Kino. I even told Mr. Anders if he was rebuffed to simply ask if they could simply take a letter from us to Ms. Kino.”

“And what do you need to say to Ms. Kino?” The blonde asked.

“Her daughter has requested the chance to get to know her,” Jungfuhk answered.

This drew a gasp of surprise from the brunette. “Hermione is looking for me?”

***

Dean finished setting the control stone on the Floo Mantle and turned back to Tracey. “Okay, the floo address is Myron Commune and currently the access list is limited to you, me, Hermione and Harry. I’ll need to access the wards to key in anyone you want to add.”

“What about your mum?”

“She doesn’t need Floo access, but she does have front door access. All that’s left is to find out if there are any surprises in the attic or basement.”

Tracey looked at him in confusion. “You haven’t checked them out?”

“Didn’t see the need until you told me just what house I received.” He motioned toward the stairs. “Shall we?”

It wasn’t long before they were opening the door to find a large cavernous room that held a lot in common with a seventies swingers club complete with two dancing cages, a large costume wardrobe that took up the entirety of one wall, two multidrawer cabinets filled with a variety of stone and glass wands, two low benches that had fur lined-cuffs linked to the bottom of their legs, two harnesses that were suspended from the ceiling and a large circular stage like bed in the center. Dean and Tracey looked around in shock at the apparent ode to sexual depravity.

“Okay,” Dean muttered. “Harry wasn’t kidding when he said that he hadn’t checked the house out when he left it to me.”

“What makes you say that?” asked Tracey as she eyed the wardrobe speculatively.

“That sexual deviant would have either kept this place to himself or given it to Hermione as a joke.” Dean half grinned at Tracey. “You only had to wake up once to find Katie Bell tied up to his bed with a gag made out of a house tie and a pair of knickers. And let’s not go into Hermione’s pursuit of intellectual lesbianism.”

“So you’re telling me that Gryffindors are a bunch of sexual deviants,” Tracey said with a smirk.

Dean chuckled as he sat on the bed. “More like a group of unsupervised juvenile delinquents. Granted the boys couldn’t go up in the girl’s dorms, but that didn’t stop the girls from coming to our dorms. Or Ginny sneaking Luna up to her room. Or any of the hundreds of things one get’s exposed to in the common room. Even Percy Weasley had his own straight-laced form of perversity, though that may have been more Clearwater getting fed up over his non-committal nature.”

“And somehow in all this debauchery you managed to remain a virgin,” Tracey snarked. “I’m calling bullshite.”

Dean snorted. “Who said I was a virgin? I think that the only one of us that comes close to that description would be Nev and there’s even money on his girlfriend correcting that oversight this summer.”

“So who’d you lose your virginity to?” Tracey asked as she pulled an innocent looking chair over to face him.

Dean raised an eyebrow. “A gentleman never tells of his exploits, no matter how unintentional they may be.”

“I didn’t ask how you lost it,” Tracey returned as she flopped down on the chair. “I asked who. A girl likes to know who she’s follo-Eep!” Almost as soon as her posterior touched the chair Tracey found herself stripped of her clothes and securely though not painfully restrained to the chair.

Dean blinked and got quite an eye full of the honey haired brown eyed girl’s bare breasts and sex before averting his eyes. “It was along those lines why I sat on the bed,” he commented with a bit of a blush. “Are you okay?”

“Oh just peachy,” Tracey snarked. “Trussed up like some Christmas party favor in front of a boy who just admitted to being a social deviant.”

“I am not a social deviant,” Dean protested. “I just share a dorm with them.”

“Yeah,” Tracey deadpanned, “That’s why you won’t tell me how you lost your virginity. I bet it was in some carnal Gryffindor orgy.” No sooner had she made the comment then a gasp escaped her lips. “Oh that’s just wrong.”

Dean pulled a sheet of the bed and attempted to cover her only to find the sheet disappear. “What’s wrong? It’s not hurting you is it?”

“The bloody thing is playing with my nub,” she whimpered. After another gasp she added, “and my back side.”

“It also won’t let me cover you up,” Dean commented as he tried to ignore her quickening breath and mewls.. “Probably a sex stool designed for exhibitionists. I’ll try to get you out of it.”

“No hurry,” Tracey snarked. “Just sit back and enjoy the show.”

Dean caught her face in his hands and looked her in the eye. “I‘d much rather be the one causing you to make those noises than let some magical device do all the work.”

Tracey gave him a tremulous smile. “I’ll hold you to that.” She gasped again and spasmed as a wave of pleasure swept through her. “Merlin! I also don’t mind if you look. So long as you let me look later.”

Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Let me try something.” He pulled out his wand and cast a finite followed by a Finitum Incantatem before the chair went dormant. After moving Tracey to the bed, still unclothed, he examined the chair to find that he had only managed to send it into emergency dormancy. Engraved upon the back was “Tiger Lily” in flowing script. “Hrm,” Dean muttered with a scowl. “I’m not sure, but I think this is a safe word carved into the back of the chair. I only managed to hit a safety feature in case someone accidentally got trapped in it.”

“So it will still work?” Tracey asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Dean said in a warning tone. “So we may want to be careful with everything up here until we know how everything works.”

“Good,” she murmured. “I’d like to finish the show for you sometime.”

Dean blinked and looked at her. “Did you know what it really was?”

Tracey blushed and bit her lip but made no effort to cover herself up. “Maybe. It sorta looked like one Daphne described and I thought I’d…”

“Give me a show?” 

Tracey nodded and looked away. “It’s just that you are so matter of fact about everything but so evasive about your first time, I just wanted to know if you were interested in girls.”

Dean sighed and laid on his back staring at the ceiling. “Deidre Hotchkins,” he muttered.

Tracey blinked and looked toward him. “The Gryffindor Prefect? But she was a fifth year when we started.”

“It was at the end of our third year and she was very drunk,” Dean said with a scowl. “Kept calling me Lee as she worked me up and rode me. I was half asleep through most of it.”

“Oh Merlin.”

Dean half shrugged. “She was all apologetic the next morning. Mum was livid when I told her, but there was nothing she could do since I waited for Deidre to leave the country before telling her. The next fall it was all over Gryffindor since Lee thought it was funny that his stalker got the wrong room and since Harry was already seeing Katie on the sly, they felt they had to turn things up a notch. That encouraged Seamus, while Neville decided to start spending time anywhere but our dorms and I was made a partial pariah by all the Gryffindor girls except Hermione for being this preteen lothario.” He let a tired sigh escape his lips. “I’m ashamed to admit that I was relieved when the Potter luck struck again and put him back in the spotlight.”

He soon felt Tracey scoot over to him and lay an arm across his chest. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “What happened...What she did...I understand why you’re not keen on sex.”

Dean blinked and looked down into Tracey’s eyes. “Who said I wasn’t keen on sex? I just want to be sure the girl wants me and not just a hobby horse with pleasant attachments.”

That drew a surprised snort from the honey-haired girl. “Hobby horse?”

“That’s what it felt like,” he replied with a grin. “Her jumping up and down on my John Thomas moaning out ‘Lee. Lee. Yes. Yes. Yes.’ And then once she was done, she just collapsed on me and started snoring in my ear. Louder than Weasley I might add. It was a bloody nightmare.”

Tracey felt a giggle bubble up within her threatening to escape. “Please tell me that wasn’t your only experience with sex.”

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled her close. “It wasn’t. I had a bit of a nice time with a girl that taught me how it was supposed to go and no my mother doesn’t know about her. That was more of a ‘sex is more than put tab a in slot b and repeat’ than a real relationship. Still, it left Padma and me with better memories over the last year than we would have otherwise had.”

Tracey half sat up, giving Dean quite a view of her breasts. “You slept with Padma Patil?”

“I find that euphemism woefully inaccurate, but yes we had sex. She offered me a written reference if you’d like.”

***


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is owned by Fujimi Shobo. Sailor Moon is owned by Kodansha. Harry Potter and friends were created by J. K. Rowling and are co owned by her, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters and am pretty much using them without permission. I intend no attack on the copyrights of these properties and no monies are being made. Please no sue.

Chapter 3

Albus was bemused to enter the great hall and find that he was not the only one accosted by a House Elf first thing in the morning and instructed to be in attendance of an emergency faculty meeting. Even sherry soaked Trelawney was seated before the great table which now held the fabled board of governors. Headed by Augusta Longbottom and now sporting five new members, the board now looked to be a truly imposing sight. Before he could interrupt and ask why his own hand-picked representatives were not in their approved place, Dowager Longbottom rang in the proceedings.

“We now call this emergency meeting of the Board of Governors and Hogwarts Faculty to order. Let me begin by welcoming Proxy for House Potter Andromeda Tonks, Proxy for House Black Ted Tonks, Proxy for House Malfoy Xenophilius Lovegood, Proxy for House Prince Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Amos Diggory as the Ministry of Magic representative. I also acknowledge House Bones Proxy Amelia Bones as in attendance giving us a full quorum in order to address the issues that have been brought to our attention.”

Dowager Longbottom brought her gavel down again before continuing. “Even though this is a previously unscheduled meeting, I feel the need to go over the previous minutes as to better acclimate the new proxies to the state of the board and by extension the school. Any objections?”

“I hardly feel this is nec-” Albus began only to be cut off.

“As there are no objections from the board, I will continue.” The Dowager shot a glare at the Headmaster that broadcast a look of terrible retribution should he interrupt again. “During the last meeting it was decided that for the twenty-eighth year in a row that there wasn’t enough money in the coffers to have the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom checked out by Gringotts curse breakers, nor was there enough funds to either raise teacher salaries or even purchase new brooms for flying instruction. However, it seems there was enough funds to give the board its annual raise as well as a raise for the Headmaster and his support staff.” Her glare was now leveled at an obviously embarrassed Minerva. 

“Now as to the appointment of yet another Defense Professor, Illegally appointed High Inquisitor and acting Headmistress threatened the board with treason until it was pointed out to her that she was not at that moment a Ministry employee and any further actions taken by her against the Board of Governors would have her as a special guest of Madam Bones holding cell. She was also instructed to remove all of her illegal educational decrees lest she wanted to be made a resident of Azkaban.

“Finally, The competency hearing of Professor Severus Snape was once again tabled at the request of Board member Malfoy and second by Proxy Narcissa Malfoy of House Black. It was upheld by a vote of five to two with only myself and Proxy Amelia Bones opposing.” She looked at the Board of Governors. “Does this recap satisfy the Board members?”

“I think I speak for the rest of the Board madam when I say that satisfy is not the word we would use,” replied a very angry Andromeda Tonks. “I know that there are other issues that need to be addressed at this meeting, but I would move that we address the Defense Issue and the competency of Professor Snape first.”

“I second,” Kingsley Shacklebolt growled, all the while glaring at Dumbledore. 

“Motion put forward and seconded,” Dowager Longbottom announced. “All those in favor?” The hands were unanimous. “Motion carries. I would wager that the Headmaster will say that there is not enough in the coffers to pay for the inspection of the Defense department. However, as I have never cashed a single draft from my term as Proxy, instead opting to return it to the Hogwarts coffers and I was informed that Mister Potter has himself placed a rather large donation recently into those same coffers, I would hope that we will find ourselves closer than we have been in years past.”

Amos Diggory cleared his throat to gain the attention of the board and held up a document. “Mr. Potter arranged for me to get a copy of the account summary for the Hogwarts coffers along with an estimate on how much it would cost to have the entire school checked out for harmful and exploitive charms, wards and curses. We currently have enough in our funds to pay for the entire castle five times over, and that is before you so graciously returned your salary draft.”

“I move that the position of Hogwarts Governor be made a completely voluntary position with no compensation until such time as there are no financial issues which the School needs to address,” called out Kingsley. “I will admit that I did not go to Hogwarts, having been raised in Morocco and having my formal education at the Academy La Sombra in Spain. However, even an untrained eye can see the many years of neglect that this fine institution has been forced to endure. It does not seem right for the governors to claim a paycheck at the sufferance of the student body.”

“I second the motion,” Madam Bones called out. “If our proxies have need of a paycheck, perhaps they can appeal to the Lords for whom they are seated. The school’s duty must first be to the student body, not to the men and women that sit here a couple days out of the year.”

“Motion set forth and seconded,” Dowager Longbottom called out. “ All in favor?” Again the motion was unanimous. “Motion carries. I am afraid we will have to wait until after the other business before we can determine who will be contacting the Goblins in regards to a curse breaking team. The reasons why will be made clear soon enough. Now moving on to Professor Snape’s competency hearing, I believe Proxy Amelia Bones may have something to say on that.”

Madam Bones shot Albus a rather nasty smile before speaking. “As of four days ago, Severus Snape turned himself into the DMLE and confessed to a rather large litany of crimes in return for a sentence of life in isolated custody. In return for supplying potions for the DMLE, he is fed, clothed and kept in an undisclosed location which he is forbidden from leaving and his list of approved visitors is tightly monitored. As such, he is no longer fit to teach at Hogwarts and will be removed immediately from the Hogwarts Faculty. A move I might add that he wholeheartedly accepted and may have seemed more than a little gleeful about.”

“Thank you, Proxy Bones.” Dowager Longbottom turned back to the assembled group of teachers and staff. “My next point of business is the determination on the future of the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts and exactly which of her many titles she will be allowed to keep if any at all.”

Minerva’s head shot up. “Excuse me?”

Dowager Longbottom glared down at the woman. “From the interviews I have conducted in the last few days, many of alumni that were part of Gryffindor House while under your administration, there is no excuse for you madam. You have not only been derelict in many of your Head of House duties but may indeed be unable to complete several of them due to the nature of your myriad of positions. Since your joint appointment as Deputy Headmistress and Gryffindor Head of House, there have been no less than seventeen sexual assaults reported in your house. Reports that had to be dropped as they were all Muggleborns and had no one to speak for them. It seems that the DMLE is prohibited from contacting the Deputy Headmistress in such cases as she is to remain neutral in cases involving multiple students. 

“Normally, it is the duty of the Head of House to intervene on the student’s behalf, but as both the Deputy Headmistress and the Head of Gryffindor House are the same person that effectively leaves the House of Gryffindor without a Head. Further, interviews and pensieve memories have shown a rapid decline in discipline within Gryffindor House since you took headship in 1967. Of all those interviewed, there are only two that ever felt they could go to you and be heard. Those two, one Remus John Lupin and one Hermione Jane Granger, both said that even after they went to you however supportive you may have been that the issue was quickly overturned by Headmaster Dumbledore, a man that you are supposed to be a check against.

“That brings us to your teaching methods.” Dowager Longbottom pulled out two rolled parchments. “These are letters from members of the Beauxbaton and Durmstrang contingents at the Tri-wizard Tournament the year before last. It seems that several tried to sit some of your higher level classes while in attendance. Note I said tried. Imagine my surprise when I found these sitting in the bowels of the ministry. Formal complaints against supposedly the best Transfiguration Professor in Britain banning foreign students from her class. Especially when she was ruddy well told to let them in right off the bat! Add to that ignoring requests for help in Animagus transformations and a right out refusal of additional tutelage when requested and you make the complaints against Severus Snape seem downright laughable.”

Dowager Longbottom stopped herself and took a deep breath before continuing. “That being said, evidence shows that unlike Mr. Snape you do not lack the ability to instruct, only the inclination. It should also be noted that you are a more than competent administrator and that most if not all of the faculty see you as fair and impartial in any disputes that arise between them. I will ask the board for their opinions on the matter before continuing.”

This time it was Xenophilius who spoke up. “Minerva, why did you become a Hogwarts Professor?” He raised his hand to forestall her knee jerk response. “I want you to think about that for a second as I explain why I ask. I remember when I was in Third year and you Seventh and Head Girl how you were so committed to going out in the world with your beau Malcolm McGonagall and exploring all the wonders denied you by a stifling home life in the Hebrides. You both talked of going to China and walking the Great Wall, climbing Kilimanjaro and Everest, dancing nude in the South Pacific.” The man seemed to ignore the snickers from the other governors. “You were both adamant about never returning to as you called it at the time ‘this sad little backward rock with all the thrill of a limp sponge.’ So what made you come back to teach at a place that you openly disdained for a man that at the best of times was a mediocre teacher?”

“He died.” The words brought a silence to the room. “Malcolm died and I was holding a wee bairn with nothing but her need for me keeping me in this world. I was thirty-one and a single mother. My family disowned me for marrying a Muggleborn. The only thing to my name was a Transfiguration Mastery that I earned on a lark and enough money to get me back to Britain. Then out of nowhere, Albus Dumbledore swooped in and offered me a chance to pay for not only my daughter’s upbringing but her future. Just what was I supposed to do, let Briana starve for my own foolish pride? So I took the job and got one of the House Elfs to care for her while I was teaching. A year later, I took over Head of House duties and the Deputy Headmistress position with the promise of a better chance at providing for the only thing that still mattered in my life. Then when she was getting ready to start her magical education, I was encouraged to send her away. Too much danger of favoritism. She’ll have a better time of it at Beauxbaton.”

Minerva took a shuddering breath. “The last time I saw my daughter was on her fourteenth birthday when she told me that she wanted to stay in France and that I’d never really been much of a mother to her. I was numb when I signed custody over to Madam Maxime. Not two months later I lost the only students that could always make me smile and I was watching Albus place their son with people that I wouldn’t trust with a rock. I wanted to quit right then. I wanted to run all the way to France and beg my daughter’s forgiveness and for another chance but as Albus had said at that time, what would be the point? So I stayed and tried to do my job to the best of my ability and kept putting one foot in front of the other. 

“You asked me why I became a professor and that’s it. I needed a job. As for why I stay…” She shrugged looking like she was suddenly very tired. “Inertia I suppose. I mean, what would be the point of going anywhere else? My husband is dead. My daughter hates me. What few friends and family I do have are part of the faculty. Just what is left outside these walls?”

Madam Bones was the next to speak. “No one, no matter how capable, would be able to be completely successful with responsibilities piled on them to the magnitude of these three positions. From your own words, you heart is not in teaching. No one doubts your skill with Transfiguration but skill does not give you the ability to teach that skill. The staff has spoken highly of your administrative ability so it is my recommendation that we leave you in the position of Deputy Headmistress and hire for the position of Transfiguration professor with Head of House Gryffindor going to a tenured professor from that House.”

Augusta nodded. “A motion has been presented. Any seconds?” Phil Lovegood spoke his second and she continued. “All in favor?” Another unanimous vote was cast and a saddened, but more or less relieved looking Minerva McGonagall settled back in her chair. Dowager Longbottom banged her gavel. “Now that that is out of the way, we can move on to the rest of the staff, starting with the electives professors.”

Albus groaned as it began to feel like one of those days.

***

Hermione had finished moving in the last of her things to Prince Manor when she noticed Roxie talking to a House Elf out front. Upon further attention, she realized that she knew that elf and by all accounts she shouldn’t be outside Hogwarts grounds. Hermione made her way out to where Roxie was politely listening to the Elf while obviously trying not to laugh. When she was close enough to not only be able to at least talk in a reasonable tone but also smell the butterbeer wafting of the poor thing, Hermione finally addressed the poor creature.

“Winky, what are you doing away from Hogwarts?”

The Elf instantly turned to her and pointed an accusatory finger. “Youse thinks yer so clever, youse tricksy Witch. Youse be thinking to get all the Elfsies freed so that Elfsies be easy picking for youse to snap up and be working for youse. But Winky sees this, because Winky is a smart cookie. Hogwart Elfies not be as quick on the uptake so Winky steered them in the wrong direction. Winky is a bit too clever for sneaky Witches. Now no Elfsie will work for Miss Her Minny save Winky.” Winky seemed to stand a bit taller if more than a little shaky. “Oh Winky was worried Dobby might be on to what Winky saw too but then Dobby be bonding to Mr. Hairy Pot Head sir. Dobby always was a bit of a lazy elf, but Winky sees just how much work Miss Her Minny is going to be and Winky not be taking any chances. So this is how it be going. Winky is going to be Your Elfsie. Winky is going to be doing cooking, cleaning, and gardening but no babies. Winky is getting too old for that shit. You and your swishy witch want babies, you get another Elfsie but they be answering to Winky.”

Hermione blinked and looked at Roxie. “Um…”

Roxie shrugged and shook her head laughing. “I believe you just got told Miss Her Minny. Just out of curiosity, am I the Minny you’re missing?”

“Oh hush you,” Hermione growled. “How am I supposed to take her seriously when she’s obviously drunk?”

“Winky can clean better drunk than any three Elfsies sober,” the little elf boasted aggressively.

“Just bond with her Hermione,” Roxie said with a sigh. “Elfs only drink when they’re in pain. They need to bond or they slowly fade and die.”

Hermione looked stricken. “Where did you learn this?”

“Third year Care of Magical Creatures,” Roxie shot back, “though I do envy you learning about Hippogriffs.”

Hermione turned back to Winky. “Fine, what do I have to do to bond with you?”

The Elf staggered forward and pulled off her dress. “Take this,” the Elf demanded. Once Hermione had taken the dress from the now nude Elf, Winky continued. “Now says Winky is your Elfsie and then tell Winky to get a uniform.”

“Winky is now my elf,” Hermione declared. “Now Winky I want you to go get a uniform then to get some sleep before you start working for me. I want you to be sober before I give you your first order.”

The Elf promptly saluted before falling face first in front of Hermione and passing out. Roxie was by this point holding onto the balustrade to keep from falling over laughing and Hermione was struck with the quandary of just what to do with the passed out naked elf in her entryway. After another minute of obviously no help from her lover, the young witch sighed and picked the poor elf up before carrying her inside. “Come along giggles,” she called over her shoulder. “You know more about the proper care and feeding of House Elfs than I.”

“Only you Mia,” Roxie said with a grin. “And here I thought I was going to be the first naked girl you carried through the house.”

Hermione gave Roxie a flat look. “Just tell me where she’ll be the most comfortable.”

“There should be Elf Quarters just off the kitchens,” the other Witch responded. “Just know that however they look, we can always fix them up to show her how much we appreciate her. House Elfs are more accepting of better living conditions than clothing for obvious reasons, but there should at least be a standard Prince uniform somewhere.” She cast a sidelong glance at Hermione. “Are you still planning to take the Prince name?”  
Hermione nodded absently. “It will give me more clout in the Wizarding world and I could arrange for special quarters if you accept my proposition.”

Roxie scowled. “Hermione, I’m not going to marry you just so we can get our own room at school. I want us to get to know each other first.”

Hermione found the door and backed into the elf quarters. “We already know just about everything about each other Roxie. Merlin, we lived in each others back pocket until your parents moved you to Spain for that Ambassador position.” She turned and found herself in a rather nice room. “Well this is a pleasant surprise.” She made her way over to an elf sized bed and laid Winky down before covering her over.

“That was six years ago Mia,” Roxie said with a sigh from the doorway. “We’ve both changed quite a bit. I’m not saying I don’t love you, but perhaps we give things a little bit before we’re marching down the aisle.”

Hermione sighed as she brushed the little Elf’s head. “Fine, but just so you know I’m not withdrawing the question.” She walked out past her lover and gave Roxie a kiss on the cheek.

“And I’m not going to give you an answer until I’m ready,” Roxie shot back, giving Hermione a playful swat on the backside as they left the room.

***

Dean woke up with Tracey cuddled against him and smiled. Even though they had found her clothes in her room not long after searching for them, the girl had insisted on parading around in her birthday suit the remainder of the evening and was only convinced to end the show after Dean had given her his own shirt to wear. Still, it hadn’t done much to alleviate Dean’s comfort issue as the addition of the shirt made the whole image somehow more erotic in his mind. 

Somehow the two had then ended up in his room with her sharing his bed. Not that he was complaining, but he was certain that while all they had done was sleep that the whole situation was putting them both more than a little on edge and it wouldn’t be long before they decided to cross that line that wouldn’t be able to be uncrossed.

It was, in a phrase, sweet torture and he was unsure just how long he could hold out with this honey-haired beauty practically throwing herself at him. At the same time, he wasn’t sure how much of this was hormones and her life debt and how much was her genuine interest in him. It was along the same problem he had with Padma over the last year and a half. Sex was nice, but he wanted the other part of a relationship as well. Blame the artist in him, but he wanted romance along with the hot sweaty fun time.

He gently ran his fingers through the girl’s hair as he tried to figure out just why he had given in so quickly last night. There hadn’t even been a word of protest when she asked to sleep with him. Maybe it was because all she wanted to do was sleep and he somehow knew that. They were actually both out before their heads had hit the pillow, or in Tracey’s case his chest. 

He stifled a groan as Tracey shifted and brushed up against a certain part of his anatomy. A mumbled, “I can help you with that,” escaped the girl’s lips in response.

Dean chuckled. “So how long have you been awake?” he asked.  
“Not long,” she murmured. “Don’t stop playing with my hair. It feels nice.”

“I live to serve,” he replied with a chuckle. They laid like that for several more minutes before he spoke again. “You know we should get up, if for no other reason than to stay on some semblance of a schedule for when we end up returning to Hogwarts.”

Tracey sighed and snuggled closer. “Can’t we just have a lie in today? I like where I’m at.”

Dean struggled with himself a bit before answering. “Tracey, are you sure about this? About us? I mean if this gets out, I don’t think you’ll be too popular in your House.”

Tracey bit her lip before moving her body on top of Dean’s. She then sat up and looked down at him before lifting the shirt covering her off, giving the boy a clear view of her bare chest. “Look at me Dean,” she encouraged when the boy began to look away. Once she held his gaze, the young witch continued. “I have fancied you for the last five years. Every time I fantasized about a guy in our year, it has been you. Yeah, the really hot and heavy stuff was only in the last year, but I knew that I liked you from the first moment that I saw you. I want you Dean. I want to be yours. I don’t care if I’m not your one and only . Merlin, I don’t care if I’m just your one on every other Sunday. Just let me have this while we have the chance.”

Dean licked his lips. “What about your House?”

Tracey shrugged. “I never really fit in there anyway. Daphne and Pansy are a pair of elitist bitches. Draco and Theo are more concerned about their appearance to think of anything else. Blaise is an arse. Crabbe and Goyle have to be told to breathe from time to time and Stori is an airhead. Millie is the only one that’s worth a damn and she’s not going to judge after her whole Cho Chang crush.”

Dean snorted. “Bulstrode’s gay?”

Tracey grinned. “Nope. Bi-sexual. Oh and built like an Amazon under those robes. Just her standing around starkers made me realize more than a few things about myself that would have made my mother happy if not for my dreamy Gryffindor fixation.”

Dean swallowed and tried to focus on her face. “So you’re bi as well.”

Tracey huffed and pulled one of Dean’s hands up to her chest. “Here. Feel me up already. And I’m not any kind of broad category. It’s more individuals that turn me on. You, Millicent…” she arched her back as he began to squeeze and fondle her breast. “Mmm, yeah that’s it. Does your other hand need an invitation?”

“Sorry,” Dean murmured as he quickly complied with his other hand. He soon had her cooing and rubbing herself against him, which was having a rather immediate effect on the young wizard. “So!” he squeaked only to attempt a deeper voice that was still higher than his normal one. “So, have you ever um…”

Tracey whimpered a bit before shaking her head. “N-never penetrated...L-little play t-time with M-millie...Oooh pinch my n-niplles…”

Dean obliged eliciting a throaty cry from the girl. “You are a lot more responsive than Padma,” he commented quickly followed up by, “Not that I’m complaining.”

Tracey gave him a weak smile as she was continuing to pant. “S-side effect of m-my b-birth.... R-really s-sensitive to t-touch...U-used to be m-much w-worse…”

“Really,” Dean replied with a smirk as he slid one hand down to cup her arse. This did nothing but encourage her grinding into his body. “Let’s see just how sensitive you are.” 

***

Tonks sighed as she began to lay out clothes for her “date” with Fleur and Bill. If she was being honest with herself, she was really looking forward to the chance to have sex with the hot Weasley and his Veela girlfriend but still felt a tad bit guilty since she hadn’t quite broken it off with Remus. Not that the jerk ever went beyond a quick snog. Alright, so she was frustrated and the fact that her aunt was getting more action than she was tended to put her in a sour mood.

Speaking of said aunt, Narcissa was sitting in front of the alley view window looking more than a little depressed. Tonks idly wondered if her occasional trysts with Snape were all that kept the woman going and now being forbidden them by Harry had made the woman more than a little listless. As it was, Tonks wasn’t sure she could take much more of this moping.

“You know he has two other women sleeping with him,” Tonks finally snapped. “One my age.”

Narcissa blinked and looked at her. “Who does?”

“Snape,” Tonks answered as she pulled out another dress and looked at it. “He doesn’t respect them at all either. I honestly don’t think the bastard respects anyone to be honest.”

“Oh.” Narcissa looked back out the window for a moment before continuing. “It doesn’t really surprise me actually. I couldn’t keep Lucius’ attention so what would make me think I could keep Severus’.”

Tonks rolled her eyes. “Merlin and here I thought I had lousy taste in men.” She walked over to stand in front of Narcissa. “Aunt Cissa, there’s nothing wrong with you that some self confidence courses wouldn’t cure. Lucius is or rather was queer as a soho rent boy. Snape is just a vile piece of shite that uses people like tissue. You are a beautiful woman that just needs a good man to take care of her. There are plenty out there, you just need to be looking in the right places.”

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. “And that is why you are getting ready for a three way with a Veela and a cursebreaker?”

Tonks snorted. “Nah, that’s just a bit of fun. Harry’s a clumsy matchmaker at best and I knew I was being set up, but hey I’m always up for a laugh.”

“And why would Lord Potter feel the need to play matchmaker in the first place?”

Tonks rolled her eyes again and sat down. “Probably because I have lousy taste in men. I tend to go for the sensitive broody types like Remus Lupin.”

“Remus Lupin?” Narcissa gagged. “He’s nearly my age Nymphadora, not to mention a werewolf and a submissive. I mean dear Morgana, Severus may be a cad but at least he knows how to take charge in the bedroom.”

“There’s more to a relationship than sex,” Tonks protested.

“Yet it’s the part most notable when it’s missing,” Narcissa countered. “What about some of your other relationships?”

Tonks looked at her incredulously. “Like I’m going to tell you. It’s not like you have much to compare them to.”

Narcissa shrugged. “After I married Lucius no, but I did date quite a bit in Hogwarts. I even managed a weekend with Lily Evans that I don’t quite remember all of. All I recall clearly is a bottle of something called tequila and a vibrating banana.”

Tonks opened and closed her mouth several times before the ability to speak returned. “Okay, you got me there. Still, I’m not about to lay my sex life out on the table for you to pick apart.”

“Fair enough,” Narcissa conceded. “Just answer me this, are you happy with your life such as it is?”

Tonks opened her mouth and then quickly closed it. She scowled at the look of triumph on Narcissa’s face and gathered her duty robes. “I have to get to work.”

***

Dear Miss Granger,

I have made contact with your mother and she wishes to meet you. However there is a conflict of interests that prohibit the prearranged meeting inside Gringotts. I apologize for this inconvenience but due to treaty restrictions we will no longer be able to facilitate your family’s reunion. I have been informed however that Ms. Kino will be in Britain for at least the next few weeks and will be receiving owls should you be willing to correspond with her.

Again I apologize for our further inability to aid you on this issue and hope that we can further aid you in the future. 

Sincerely 

Account Manager Jungfuhk 

P.S. Aside from almost getting me beheaded, she seems pretty nice. - Bob

***

Dear Ms. Kino,

I understand there is some issue between you and the Goblins that prevents their facilitating our meeting but I still very much wish to meet with you and possibly get some answers as to where I come from. I hesitate to ask, but how familiar are you with the non-magical world? I ask this only due to my own knowledge of appropriate restaurants is very limited and I do not wish for you to be uncomfortable in an alien environment. If you have some other place in mind, I would be more than willing to accommodate you though I must state that there will be someone I trust implicitly coming with me.

This is not to say that I don’t trust you, but due to my status in Wizarding Britain there are certain elements that wish me harm and I am not as confident as the DMLE that they have been dealt with effectively. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

***

Dearest Daughter,

Anywhere you choose is fine with me. I will likewise be bringing two companions, due to the nature of my work for the empire. If you feel it necessary, I see nothing wrong with you bringing additional support as I was not able to be there for you as I would have wished. There is much that I feel the need to tell you that would never fit in a letter and most likely would never be appropriate in one. My commander Minako is always getting on me about that.

Yes, I still think of you as my daughter even though I was forced to give you away. It was my request that your first name be Hermione so that I may have some chance at finding you. A Winter’s Tale is my favorite of Shakespeare’s plays. Hopefully this will be but the first of many meetings where I will have the chance to introduce you to all your aunts and uncles as well as meet the family with which you have surrounded yourself.

Your Mother,

Makoto Kino

***

Dear Madam Bones,

I know this is highly irregular, but an issue has come up that I need to address with Potions Master Snape. It is somewhat sensitive and I would rather it be dealt with some discretion. Due to the nature of my business, some medical attention for Potion Master Snape may be needed and I will accept their presence so long as they realize that anything revealed in the room will fall under their confidentiality oaths. 

I await your reply as to when and if this meeting can be arranged.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

***  
Ms. Granger,

Please tell me you didn’t have sex with him.

Amelia Bones,   
Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement

***

Dear Madam Bones,

If you knew the nature of my discussion, you would realize just how vile and disgusting an image that conjured in my mind. Not only is he the wrong gender for me, but no. Just no. 

Hermione Granger

***

Dear Ms. Kino,

I apologize that I am not quite as ready to call you mother as you are to call me daughter. I assure you that it has nothing to do with you. Family has never exactly been a comforting experience for me. In point of fact, I am much closer to my chosen family than the one appointed by the courts. That my birth father is a thoroughly unpleasant man that I had the displeasure of having for potions the last five years has made me even more wary.

I have made reservations at Robinson’s in Knightsbridge for seven tomorrow evening. Please write me if this is inconvenient so that I may make other arrangements.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

***

Severus scowled at the letter that he had been given by Tonks. “Why would I care what that Gryffindor know it all has to say? I turned myself in so I wouldn’t have to put up with all the dunderheads any longer.”

Tonks shrugged. “I wasn’t told to gauge your reaction. I was just told to let you know that Madam Bones was arranging a meeting and that Hermione suggested that you might want a healer on hand when she was done. Personally, I’m hoping that she’s here to get some measure of revenge on you for all the shite you pulled at school. I doubt that’s it, but it would definitely be fun to watch her tear you a new one.”

“You are supposed to protect me.”

“I’m supposed to keep people from killing you,” Tonks countered. “I don’t care if you are bruised and battered at the end of the day, so long as you still have a pulse and can breathe on your own.” She pulled out another letter. “Oh and I have this one from Harry. I figure it’s a letter informing you of his disallowing Narcissa in your presence ever again.”

Snape snatched the letter from her hand. “And just why is Narcissa listening to that juvenile delinquent?”

Tonks grinned. “Perhaps because said juvenile delinquent is the head of the two houses she owes fealty to.”

“What!” 

“Harry passed Draco the Black headship minus any actual wealth to keep the house going. When your Dark Lord killed the idiot, Draco hadn’t thrown Harry out of the House yet so all his assets went back to the only surviving male in House Black which just so happens to be one Harry James Potter. Among those assets was the Head of house Malfoy as Lucius had been offed just before Draco. So yeah, Harry pretty much can tell her to do whatever he wants.” Tonks casually dusted her nails on her Auror robes. “I’m supposed to have her checked out at Saint Mungo’s tomorrow. I’m thinking of asking for Healer Addison if she’s available.”

“Vivianne Addison does not do run of the mill check ups,” Snape drawled.

“Oh Harry’s paying top Galleon for a full work up.” Tonks shot back. “Seems his dear cousin was lured in by a perverted sexual deviant and he wants to make sure she didn’t catch anything. I wouldn’t worry about your little indiscretions though Severus. Doctor patient confidentiality and all that.”

***

Albus groaned as he drug the last of his trunks into the Hog’s Head and rested on it with a sigh. He couldn’t believe just what had happened. After all his years of service, all his time serving the light and the greater good, he had been unanimously dismissed without so much as a by your leave. He looked at his brother a bit bemusedly. “Thank you for putting me up for a while Aberforth. I’ll be sure not to be too much of a bother.”

“Damn right you won’t,” his brother growled. “It’ll be three Galleons now and three a week until you have somewhere else to go.”

Albus looked at Abe appalled. “I’m your brother.” 

“Yeah, so what. I run a tavern not a halfway house. And get your shit out of the bar. Your room is in the back behind the Elf quarters.”

“You have elfs here?”

“Nah,” his brother grunted. “Couldn’t afford them. Normally use it when Hagrid’s too pissed to make it back to his hut. Keeps his snoring from waking my other guests.”

“But I’m a guest,” Albus protested.

“Nope. You are a nuisance and the sooner you’re gone, the better. Now are you going to take what I’ve offered or are you going to clear out. Make up your mind fast. I’ve got a sherry soaked tart that offered alternative compensation for a room.”

Albus grumbled as he put the three Galleons down and pulled his belongings toward the back room.

***

“So you see it’s all perfectly legitimate Mr. Weasley,” Luna explained as Ginny was continuing to pack her belongings.

Arthur looked over the official declarations that Luna handed him with a bit of amazement. “I can see that, Miss Lovegood. What I don’t understand is why Harry felt the need to go through all of this and that rather rude prank he pulled on Molly.”

Luna cocked her head to the side. “That could have something to do with us asking him to do it. You see, Ginevra heard Mrs. Weasley mutter something about encouraging Harry to quote ‘do the right thing.’ As Ginny and I have always been close and Ginny has never really had any actual interest in men after her little talk with Tom from the journal, we decided a pre-emptive strike was in order. Since Harry and Katie had been secretly dating since the start of his third year, they both agreed.”

Arthur blinked. “If they’ve been dating that long, how has noone noticed?”

“Well, Harry asked those of us that were in the know to keep quiet since Dumbledore has to scratch his murder itch every year and always seemed to target Harry and those around him. We knew Ron was safe because he was Dumbledore’s plant and that Hermione was probably part of the bribe to get close to Harry so she was safe until Harry started to make his move, but any romantic entanglements would last about as long as it took the Headbastard to set up the murder room. That’s why Harry played up to my lead tormentor. He was trying to use the Headbastard’s murderous tendencies to do some good.”

“I...see.” Arthur cleared his throat while trying to come up with a way to refute what Luna said. True the boy had an unusual string of bad luck and Albus did take an unhealthy interest in his welfare. There was also the revelations of Ronald poisoning Hermione that were a shade too close to Molly’s youthful transgressions. It was unsettling that they still did not know who had given Ronald those potions. And Albus was an alchemist…

Arthur cast a glance at a stunned and bound Molly. Her reaction at Luna’s claiming of Ginny had been extreme to say the least. Perhaps it was time to trot her down to the DMLE and pull a couple favors from Amelia to see exactly what his darling wife has been up to… “Thank you Miss Lovegood. This conversation has been enlightening. Will you and Ginny be needing anything?”

Luna cocked her head to the side. “I believe daddy said we would be going to Sweden for our explorations this year, so we should be fine. Parker is going to run the Quibbler while we’re away so the paper should be fine. Our books are already paid for and Harry promised us new robes when we return. I believe we’re good.”

Arthur smiled at the young witch as his daughter came walking up to them carrying her trunk. “Well then you girls have a good time and be sure to write.”

“We will Mr. Weasley. Give my regards to Harry at the trial.”

***

Dear Mrs. Parkinson,

Far be it for me to tell a lady of such distinction how she could comport herself, but I have received reliable information that a certain former potions professor may have been stringing several women along during his tenure at Hogwarts. It stands to reason that a man of such low moral character may have possibly seen nothing wrong with forcing his interests on those within his easy reach and possibly erased their memories of said encounter so as to remain undetected. Why it is even potentially possible that while momentarily indisposed of the mother, he might instead have turned his attentions to the daughter. 

I of course have no proof of this and it is all pure conjecture, but can you really expect much of a man who has the audacity to bed multiple married women? I of course will not bring this information to light as it would do nothing but tarnish the image of otherwise upstanding women, but I implore you to at least have your daughter checked lest she had been a victim of that horrible man.

Your faithful beacon of journalistic integrity,

Parker Olsen

***

“That bastard!” Eleanor Parkinson hissed. “Pansy! Grab your cloak! We are going to Saint Mungo’s!”

***

It seemed that Parker Olsen’s latest bit of reporting had not been done through the Quibbler but rather to all the mothers of girls in Slytherin House. Healer Addison looked at the list of women and young girls she was having to check out thanks to that man’s insinuations towards her Severus. Insinuations that seemed to be at least somewhat accurate when Eleanor right out told her that she had slept with the man and was more than certain other women had as well since the bastard did little to hide the evidence. 

It was the reason for this latest tirade that she was forced to speak with Eleanor’s daughter Pansy in private. Sighting Healer/patient confidentiality, she had managed to force the elder Parkinson woman out the door and lock it before turning back to the downcast and somewhat frightened girl. Sitting down across from her, Healer Addison quietly began. “I want to begin by saying I won’t tell your mother anything about what I know without your permission. I swore an oath on my magic in regards to this as has every Healer and Mediwitch here. That being said, you and I need to have a very frank discussion about the results of my scan and I need to know if I should send your mother away or bring her in here to support you.”

Pansy gave a derisive snort. “I’d get more support from a rampaging nundu.”

Healer Addison nodded and touched her wand to a stone on the counter before turning back to the girl. “I just signaled for your mother to be escorted off the hospital grounds. Now here is what I know. I know you are sexually active. I know you have not been obliviated. I know you have had multiple partners. I know you have not used protection or contraceptive potions or that if you have they were not effective. And I know that your most recent sexual encounter was just before Hogwarts let out.”

Pansy fought back a sob and nodded. “I’m pregnant aren’t I.”

Healer Addison gently touched the girl’s shoulder before answering. “Yes. Given the nature of the hysteria going on outside, I need to ask if one of your partners is Severus Snape.”

Pansy shook her head. “No. As far as I know he doesn’t touch any of the students.”

Healer Addison nodded softly. “Do you know who the father could be?”

Pansy actually did sob this time. “Not precisely. Like you said, I went a little boy crazy.”

“Were you forced or coerced?”

Pansy gave a watery snort. “More like I was the one coercing. I think Greg and Vince would have had a good claim on me forcing them.”

“Greg or Vince?”

“I’m not going to give you their names, and I don’t want them to know.” Pansy growled. “I just want rid of this.”

“Alright,” Healer Addison conceded. “There are multiple options we can go over. The first is that we can abort the foetus, however as Magical means are not nearly as effective or safe on the body I would recommend that you go to a Muggle abortion clinic for that. Even then, there is a chance that you will lose the ability to have children in the future. Second is that we can remove the foetus and place it in a surrogate. Again there is a risk that something could wrong and you would not be able to have children in the future. 

“Third, We could accelerate the pregnancy in a time dilation chamber, allowing your pregnancy to take place in a couple months real time and give the child up for adoption. This would mean losing your summer and aging several months, but you would be able to return to school as normal and no one would be the wiser. All we would tell your mother was that we found an unusual complication and that you are receiving treatment for it. 

“Finally, you have the option of coming clean to your mother and handling the pregnancy normally. You will end up having to stay out of school for a year and come in the year after. Even if you chose a home schooling option, you would not be allowed to do any wand training until after the child had been born and then you would still likely be required to give the child up for adoption, at the very least to your mother. As it stands, you are fifteen going on sixteen. You will be sixteen and single at the time of the child’s birth. You are in no way mentally or physically capable of caring for a child and due to laws concerning the Heritage test, one can not be administered until the child has attained their fifteenth year of life. 

“I know this is an absolutely horrid choice to make, and I wish that I could tell you what the best choice was. Unfortunately that is for you to decide. All I can do is give you the options and support your decision to the best of my ability.”

Pansy looked up and gave a faint smile. “Thank you, Healer Addison. Can I have a few minutes to think it through? I know I’m not going to take the last option, but the other three are on the table.”

Healer Addison nodded and stood. “I’ll have a nurse outside the door waiting incase you need anything.”

***

Augusta Longbottom was seated in the Headmaster’s office, considering her options. Out of the previous Hogwarts staff, the board had been forced to let five go including the Headmaster. In addition she also needed to find a Defense professor as well as someone to teach potions and transfiguration. The one bright spot was that the Ghost Union hadn’t really had a leg to stand on when it was pointed out that Binns did not in fact realize that he was dead and hadn’t paid any union dues. In point of fact, Binns salary hadn’t been touched and his Gringotts vault made him the richest ghost in Britain. Well, it did until he declared that it should all go to the school as a scholarship and passed on.

She also received a transfer request from one Rochelle Templeton. It came with a letter of introduction by her grandson’s friend Hermione and some rather impressive OWL equivalencies. It also didn’t hurt that her father had served as Magical Ambassador to Spain. Perhaps accepting her would offset some of the bad press they would receive from the shake up at the school. 

The thought made her snort. Bad Press? That Olsen fellow would likely push to have the full board canonized for sainthood. That young man seemed to have a serious vendetta against Dumbledore that she doubted even You-Know-Who would have been hard pressed to top. A part of her wondered just what Albus had done to make the reporter hate him that much, but not enough to risk drawing the poison pen’s attention to herself. 

She sighed and went back to her first problem. Divination was dropped as an elective, leaving the need to fill Care of Magical Creatures, Defense against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, Muggle Studies, Potions, and Transfiguration. 

She hated the crestfallen look on Hagrid’s face, but he was a poor instructor at best. She allowed him to remain in his position as Keeper of the Keys and Groundskeeper but could not in good conscience have him teaching children. The same could not be said for Argus Filch. It had been almost a delight to dismiss the hated custodian due to dereliction of duty. The House Elves seemed delighted that they would be absorbing his duties. And whoever thought that a pureblood teaching Muggle Studies was a good idea should be shot.

It was going to be a long two months and she couldn’t even start looking for new staff until the castle had been checked top to bottom next week. The board was set to vote on a new Headmaster or Headmistress a week before the start of term though and until that point, she would be acting as interim Headmistress so the work that needed to be done could be completed.

A knock on the door brought Augusta out of her musings. “Enter,” she called out.

A much more relaxed Minerva McGonagall entered carrying a stack of forms and a large thick book. “Here are the syllabus requests, book recommendations, and the student ledger you requested Headmistress.”

Augusta smiled. “Thank you Minerva. And please, when we are not in public you may call me Augusta. I must say that you are looking much better since the redistribution of duties.”

“It is somewhat less stressful,” Minerva admitted. “I went ahead and made some suggestions for Transfiguration books since the decision for a new professor may leave them without enough time to suggest books.”

“Thank you. I’ll have the year lists ready to go out by the end of the week with the letters to the students. I want them to have enough time to prepare for the coming year with all the changes. Also, I see no need to hold on to their OWL results when we already have them. This will allow the students to write and let us know what their elective choices are and free up time at the start of the year.”

Minerva smiled. “I had suggested that very thing to Albus but was rejected out of hand.”

Augusta snorted. “That man loves chaos and disorder. He would be delighted if we fell back into the age of clubbing others to get what we want. I’m beginning to think that Olsen fellow might not be too far off in calling him a Dark Lord.”

“Surely you jest.”

Augusta sighed. “Since Albus became Headmaster, Auror numbers have decreased by forty percent, Healer numbers by thirty, violent wizarding crime raised by fifteen percent and economic development has crawled to a near standstill. Though the Department of Mysteries refuses to give exact numbers, they have admitted that they too took a hit and there are fewer spell researchers then there have ever been at any time in Wizarding Britain previously. What does that tell you, Minerva?”

“But there were extenuating circumstances. There was a Dark Lord and wars.”

“There are always wars somewhere and Tom Riddle wasn’t the first Dark Lord and quite likely won’t be the last. Hogwarts headmasters have always kept the welfare of the school as paramount and strove for educational excellence until Albus Dumbledore. Merlin, even Phineas Nigellus Black managed to produce more educators, Aurors and Healers than Albus, and that man is vilified as one of the worst Headmasters ever.”

Minerva fell into a seat. “I...I never realized. I mean it was Albus Dumbledore. The man defeated Grindelwald.”

Augusta nodded. “That’s what we all have thought when we were hit in the face with the evidence. Then my grandson pointed out something that absolutely chilled me to the bones. He said that a lord of light can only have the people’s support so long as they have an enemy to face. It was something Mr. Potter had told their entire defense club last year.”

Minerva was pale by this point. “So what? He was creating Dark Lords to prop up his own glory?”

Augusta shrugged. “I don’t rightly know, but the evidence is pretty damning. There’s no outright proof that he’s done anything illicit or criminal, but by contrast he also hasn’t done much to improve our world either.”

“Merlin, I need a drink.”

“Ogden’s or Old Puteney?”

***

Dean tried not to snicker at the put out expression on Tracey’s face. He really did, but it was just so petulant and well adorable in that little girl being told she can’t have a pony sort of way. He really couldn’t help it when he snickered at her huffing in irritation. 

“It’s not funny,” she hissed at him, only making him laugh harder. “You’ve seen me come undone twice now and I haven’t so much as gotten a peek at what’s in your pants.”

“So I’m the one to blame because I’m not an exhibitionist?” Dean asked smirking.

“Yes,” Tracey declared crossing her arms. “It is all your fault, so whip it out.”

“Let me think about that,” he said as he went back to making their dinner. “Not while I’m making burgers and chips.”

“Oh come on!”

“Hot popping grease is no one’s friend,” he scolded as he flipped a burger. “However, if this is really bothering you then I will disrobe and you can oggle until you’re content.” he then pointed the spatula at her and glared. “After dinner.”

“What about fondling?” Tracey asked with a grin.

Dean was about to answer when a horrid sound came from the back of the house. Both Dean and Tracey ran towards the noise with wands drawn, ready for whatever may be happening. What they found was a young woman with messy black hair laid out on the ground with what could best be described as a tear in reality closing above her. By the time they were able to reach the girl, the tear had completely disappeared and it was as if nothing had happened, save for the girl in heavily torn clothes.

Tracey was already kneeling and running every diagnostic spell she knew while Dean was checking the girl’s pulse. It was obvious just from the state of her clothing that she had likely been through a war zone and was lucky to be alive. After several minutes of scanning and three separate healing spells, Tracey nodded to Dean. “She’s stable. You can wake her up now.”

Dean nodded and cast an ennervate on the girl. There was something somewhat familiar about the girl as she opened her eyes and the mischievous smile she gave him. That familiarity only seemed to grow at her whispered “Hello handsome.”

The girl slowly sat up and looked around, her grin growing by the minute as she took in her surroundings. Just as Tracey was about to say something, the girl grabbed her and asked. “What year is it?”

Tracey blinked and replied dumbly, “Uh, 1996.” 

The girl seemed to look a bit worried at that then continued. “Alright, I need to make sure of a few things. You’re both magical right?”

“Uh yeah.”

“Pureblood, Half-blood or Muggleborns?”

“I’m a halfblood and Dean’s Muggle raised,” Tracey answered.

“Alright, I can work with that,” the girl replied thoughtfully. “What are your Houses?”  
“Slytherin and Gryffindor,” Dean offered.

“Really?” The delightfully surprised look on the girl’s face was almost priceless. “Well that makes me hopeful. Now for the big one. Either of you ever hear of the Girl who Lived?”

“It’s Boy who lived,” Tracey replied. “And his name is Harry Potter.”

“Yes!” the girl shouted as she hopped up and began dancing about. At least Dean hoped it was dancing. “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Dumby can suck it! Cal is a genius! My brother’s awesome!”

“Is she having some sort of seizure?” Tracey asked Dean cautiously.

“I think she’s celebrating not having to face off against Riddle,” Dean replied with a smirk.

“Why would she have to face off against Riddle?” Tracey asked. “I thought that was Potter’s job. Or at least before the Aurors got the bastard.”

“I don’t think she’s from around here.”

“And you would be correct sir,” the girl replied loudly as she walked up to them. “The name is Harleen Josephine Potter, Formerly known as the Girl who lived or Fate’s punching bag, take your pick. And currently the first confirmed dimensional traveler. My friends call me Harley.”

“Dimensional traveler?” Tracey asked.

“She’s from an alternate reality,” Dean explained.

“Give the pretty boy a prize,” the girl said with a smile. “Now, any chance of getting in touch with this Harry Potter? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to find out he has a brand new twin sister on platform nine and three quarters.”

“You’d be right,” Dean commented. “And he’d likely be equally annoyed at said new twin sister hitting on one of his dorm mates.”

Harley blinked. “He’s a Gryffindor? That sucks.”

“It could have something to do with wanting a family connection,” Tracey offered. “His parents were after all both Gryffindors. I take it you weren’t.”

Harley grinned. “Naw, there was this annoying bitch in Gryffindor that kept wanting to see my scar so I begged the hat to put me in Ravenclaw.”

Dean snorted. “Harry told me that he was almost put into Slytherin but begged to be put anywhere else because of Malfoy.”

Harley blinked. “Lucretia at Hogwarts?” she shuddered. “That would have been hellish. No, the one I was talking about was a Veronica Weasley.”

Dean snorted. “Some things never change. Come on in and we can go over similarities and differences of our worlds while I write the letter to Harry.”

Tracey, taking up the tail, paused briefly in thought. “If your friends call you Harley, then what do your enemies call you?”

“Usually ‘oh shit, it’s her.’”

***


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is owned by Fujimi Shobo. Sailor Moon is owned by Kodansha. Harry Potter and friends were created by J. K. Rowling and are co owned by her, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters and am pretty much using them without permission. I intend no attack on the copyrights of these properties and no monies are being made. Please no sue.

Chapter 4

Dear Harry,

As long as you use the right charms, sex on the beach is amazing. As is sex in the hot tub, sex on the back deck, sex in the pool and sex on the kitchen table. Thanks for the use of your vacation home in Majorca.

Neville

***

Dear Neville,

Thanks for the information. I’ll be sure to have the House Elfs sanitize once you’re gone.

Harry

***

Dear Mr. Olsen,

Your personal use of Quibbler presses has been noted and will be coming out of your next payment. Due to the public service nature of your use, we will not be making an official reprimand but you are encouraged not to make a habit of it. The Quibbler is not a vanity press.

Sincerely,

Luna Lovegood  
Chief Financial Officer and Editor in chief, The Quibbler

***

Dear Ms. Lovegood,

I have already made arrangements to reimburse the cost and had cleared it with your father before hand. He agreed that such a concern needed to be addressed as promptly and discreetly as possible. I wish you luck on your search for the red crested night howler. 

Your faithful servant of journalistic integrity,

Parker Olsen

***

Dear Supreme Leader Havok,

The one formerly known as Mooney has requested a chance to apologize and atone for his unfortunate and poorly thought out decisions. We have agreed to relay this request only on the condition that we write the note and he not be allowed to add any postscript. We have followed all procedures required to assure that this letter can not be traced and will neither confirm nor deny his sincerity in this matter as we are not as familiar with him as you or your house are.

We solemnly swear that we will abide by your decision,

The Red Menace

***

Dear Red Menace,

Enclosed is a Portkey to a location of my choosing. The activation word is “Penance”.

Your supreme leader,

Havok

***

Remus nervously handed over the portkey to Albus. “I’m not so sure this is a good idea Albus,” the werewolf admitted. “Harry already has reason to be angry with us both. Perhaps it would be wise for me to go as he expects and maybe I can get him to see reason.”

Albus chuckled. “I doubt Mr. Potter will be all that much trouble for a man who has spent most of his life dealing with children my boy. I am certain when Mr. Potter hears what I have to say that he will be more than willing to help us deal with the unfortunate mess his temper tantrum has caused.”

“Temper Tantrum?” Remus knew he had made the wrong decision at that moment but it was too late to do anything but let it play out. Still, he felt the need to at least attempt to get his former mentor to see reason. “Albus, Harry has made you into a pariah and bankrupted all the Death Eaters. He has sworn to create chaos wherever he goes. Bloody hell, the twins call him Havok for a reason!”

Albus merely rolled his eyes and held up the portkey, calling out the activation word. The whirling sensation came to a stop about ten feet in the air, after which the former headmaster found himself falling into Black Lake. after foundering for several minutes and somehow making it to the shore, he found himself face to face with a sign reading “Go Fuck Yourself!”

Albus sighed as he slogged back to the Hog’s Head. “Back to the drawing board.”

***

The Quibbler

Shakedown at Hogwarts! McGonagall Stripped of Powers! Did Trelawney See Her Removal? Ghost Teacher and Dark Lord Dumbledore Banished from its Halls! Headless House Gets New Head!

Parker Olsen reporting

***

“This is a very well written article in spite of its sensational headline,” Minako Aino replied as she sipped her tea. “I mean of course it’s heavily slanted, but the journalist actually does report and back up his facts. If only he’d picked a better Pen Name than Parker Olsen. I mean really, Peter Parker and Jimmy Olsen were both photographers.”

Makoto Kino grinned from where she was getting ready to meet her daughter. “Says the girl who writes under the pen name Bunny Hopper. Now, which outfit should I wear? I want to be respectful, but not overly formal.”

“I still can’t believe you had a child and never told anyone,” called Rei Hino’s voice from the next room. “I mean you mentioned that boyfriend when you were abroad but this is pretty big news.”

Makoto sighed and put down her make up. “Severus was a mistake. It was part of my cover that I acted like a frigid bitch pureblood snob. As a result of that and the fact that I was alone on the mission, things got a bit lonely. That was when I met him. Severus was charming in his own way and I was getting nowhere tracking down the Death Eater being trained in Europe, so I allowed myself to indulge with some shallow fun. It ended up with us going at it like animals on Christmas Eve and then me waking up to find that I had just screwed the Death Eater that I was supposed to be looking for.”

“Ouch,” Minako responded cringing. “What did you do?”

Makoto shrugged. “I completed my mission and hit him with a compulsion to go back to Britain and sabotage the Death Eaters’ chances on the Continent. It wasn’t until a few months later that I found out that I was pregnant. Usa-ko and Mamo-kun weren’t thrilled with what happened but admitted that they shouldn’t have sent me in deep cover alone and helped me arrange for Hermione’s adoption in Britain. I think you two may be the only ones that know outside of the Emperor and Empress.” she blushed a bit before continuing. “Well and Tenchi-kun, but that’s just because he proposed last week.”

The squeals from both girls hurt Makoto’s ears and may have set several neighborhood dogs barking. She was quickly engulfed by her fellow imperial guardsmen as they began chattering about gowns and bridesmaids. “I haven’t said yes yet,” Makoto called out. “I confessed about Hermione and told him to go away and think about it for another couple weeks before asking me again.”

“Why’d you do a foolish thing like that?” Rei chided. “It’s obvious to everyone the two of you are crazy for each other.”

Makoto sighed. “The Masaki family is really close in line to the throne and it would already be a major stigma for him to marry a Half-blood. That I already had a child by another man may make some people question my suitability as a wife even more. It may mean that he would have to give up his claim to the throne. I don’t want him to do this without at least considering the consequences. You both remember the Ryoko debacle.”  
This brought a cringe and matching nods from both ladies. “But you know he’ll ask you again,” Minako argued. “The goof is just too besotted with you.”

Makoto allowed herself a small smile. “Yeah, I just hope he doesn’t regret it.”

***

Winky awoke with a groan and reached for her head. “Oooh, Butterbeer hangovers are the worst. I feel like I tried to drink a seventh year under the table.” As she laid there in the bed, the Elf felt a warmth in her chest and gave a faint smile. “I have a family again,” she whispered as she stretched and determined to get started on her day. A part of her recalled that her new mistress had told her to get a new uniform and sober up before coming for further orders, so the Elf snapped her fingers and summoned a hangover cure which she quickly downed.

“Yuck! Taste’s like gargling bath salts.” She gagged a bit before climbing out of bed, but prided herself on not vomiting. Of course since she couldn’t remember what she last ate, there may have actually been nothing to vomit at this point. She snapped her fingers again to summon a mirror to see just what she would need to make a uniform. A part of her knew that her new mistress would not be fond of the standard pillowcase or tea towel, but perhaps she could do something stylish with a bath towel that would make her happy.

As the mirror appeared and Winky took in her appearance, the Elf’s jaw dropped. “Merlin getting frisky with a Thestral! What the bloody hell happened to me?”

She was tall...and pretty...and had a long wavy head of hair that reached down to her waist. But most of all… “I have knockers!” the elf exclaimed. She experimentally poked the two new protuberances on her chest and gasped at the jolt of pleasure that ran through her body. She quickly conjured a measuring tape and had it take all her measurements. The results at once pleasantly surprised and perplexed her.

“This is going to take more than a bath towel,” she muttered. “Perhaps I should find out what Muggle servants wear and base it on them.” 

***

Amelia Bones pinched the bridge of her nose as she tried to order her thoughts. She wasn’t upset per say, as the Auror before her had essentially done her job. It was just that if this happened to get out then there may be issues in the future. “Auror Tonks, you were supposed to protect Potion Master Snape when he received visitors.”

Auror Tonks smirked as she stood at attention. “My mission parameters were defined as keep him alive and able to produce potions. He is alive and can still create potions.”

Amelia tried her best to remain stern, she really did, but the man had all but asked for what happened when he arranged for three women to have visitation privileges. “Severus has been hit with no less than four separate hexes, one of which has yet to be identified. The other three were a castration hex, an explosive diarhea hex and a leg breaker hex.”

“But he can still stir a cauldron,” Auror Tonks countered, “and the unknown is some version of the Weasley Bat Bogey Hex.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“He’s shooting bats out of his-”

“I don’t need to know this!” Amelia shouted, cutting the Auror off. “Look Tonks, I know you’re not exactly thrilled with this assignment but it’s just until the trials are over.”

“And then I can go back to walking the beat and cracking skulls?”

“No,” Amelia chided. “Then we can find another assignment that will put your assets to better use.”

“Oh come on!” Tonks shouted jumping to her feet. “I’m being put on the shelf because of a stupid accident!”

“No, you’re being pulled from active duty because someone is always being tripped, punched, kicked or accidentally knocked unconscious by you. That this time it was a dangerous Dark Lord is the only reason that you weren’t tossed out. It would have been bad publicity.”

Tonks looked at Amelia in shock. “I’m not that bad. The only one that gets injured around me is Dawlish and he’s a sexist pig.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“He keeps making rude gestures and grabbing my arse. So every time he does, I have an ‘accident’ that does some painful but temporary injury to him.”

“What about the seven civilian complaints?”

“All suspected criminals resisting arrest.”

“One was the lead singer for the Wyrd Sisters.”

“He was suspected of having an illicit substance and refused a strip search.”

“Nymphadora…”

“Oh come on, like you wouldn’t have done the same given half the chance.”

“It’s unprofessional and could be considered assault.”

“Only if I hadn’t found the gram of pixie dust on him.”

“He was using PCP?”

“No. Actual pixie dust. He thought it would make him fly.”

Amelia blinked and shook her head. “When the trials are over, I’m recommending you for career counseling. It’s beginning to look like you really need to explore other options.”

***

Dean finished the letter and dropped it into the dropbox Harry had left him before returning to preparing supper. “Hope you like burgers and chips,” he called over his shoulder as he finished plating up the food. “We’ve been limited to my own small repertoire of recipes.”

“Burgers are fine,” Harley replied as she began searching her pockets. “Please tell me I didn’t lose it. Cal will have a fit if I lost it and he finds out…”

Tracey took a bite of her burger and purred in delight before her curiosity got the better of her. “What are you looking for?”

“My trunk,” Harley responded as she snapped her fingers and reached into her cleavage. “Thought something was pinching a bit.” She pulled out a four inch by one inch square coffin shaped locket on the end of a silver chain. “Oh good. I was afraid I was going to need a whole new wardrobe.”

Dean briefly took in the slightly smouldering attire she was currently wearing. “Perhaps you’d like to go freshen up before eating? There are a couple free rooms upstairs.”

Harley sat down and tore into her burger. “Mmm...Food first. Clothes later. I mean it’s not like I haven’t ended up singed before.”

“Let me guess,” Dean ventured. “Tri-Wizard Tournament?”

Harley scowled and nodded. “Take it that happened here as well.”

“Oh yeah,” Tracey chimed in. “Idiot Gryffindor tried to out fly a Hungarian Horntail and somehow succeeded. You?”

Harley shrugged. “Peruvian Vipertooth after the Horntail suffered an accident.” She gave them a mischievous smirk. “Apparently Acromantula meat doesn’t agree with the Hungarian Horntail’s digestive system. The Vipertooth was the next nearest nesting mother, so it was brought in as a replacement. And since they are not considered a protected species due to their poisonous nature and no natural predators, there was no complaint when I shot a piercing hex through its right eye.”

“What happened to her eggs?” Dean asked.

“They were going to have to take them away from her in a week anyway,” Harley explained. “The Vipertooth isn’t a natural Dragon and can sometimes attack their own young out of a perceived threat to their territory. Whoever bred the first one was seriously off his nut.”

“Did you get to keep any of the carcass?” Tracey asked.

Harley snorted. “Are you kidding? I claimed all of it. Just like I did with the Basilisk two years earlier. I also have enough Acromantula silk to make a whole new wardrobe once I learn how to weave it.” At the other teens incredulous stares, she grinned. “Hey just because I wasn’t put into the house of the lions doesn’t mean I’m not a bit reckless.” She idly glanced around the room before speaking again. “So anyone want to explain why you two are living in a brothel?”

Dean blushed and scratched the back of his head. “Harry gave it to me as a thank you for distracting everyone so he could make an escape.”

Harley smirked. “And how did my cross dimensional twin come about obtaining this place to give away?”

“It was a Lily Potter art project,” Tracey answered for Dean.

Harley raised an eyebrow. “Really. Well then, I suppose I must show my appreciation for my mother’s sense of style and taste." With no further warning she leaned over and captured Tracey’s lips with her own using the girl’s gasp of surprise to deepen the kiss. After a brief makeout session with the honey haired witch, she then turned and did the same to Dean. Her next trick was to stand in front of them and slowly remove the scorched remains of her clothing. 

Once the raven haired, green eyed witch was completely nude before them, the only thing marring her creamy white skin a light red lightning bolt scar between her breasts, she turned and headed for the door to the rest of the house. “I think I’ll take a bath,” she declared as she reached the door. “Do either of you care to join me?”

***

Hermione found herself fretting over which outfit to wear. She almost wished that she hadn’t insisted that Roxie wear a suit to accommodate her already boyish style. That had necessitated in Hermione’s mind the need for her to be the “girl” in the relationship. Not that she had any problem being the girl mind you. Especially when Roxie pulled out that lovely harness and made her virginity a thing of the past. Still, men’s fashion was far and away simpler than the mine-filled maze of picking out just the right dress for a social occasion. 

She finally settled on an understated black dress that stopped at the knee and she recalled eliciting a groan of pleasure from Roxie when they bought it. The groan was mainly because it would be impossible to wear anything underneath it without evidence showing. Still, it was decent, respectable, and sure to have Roxie in fits until they got home.

Home. The mere word made her smile, and yes Prince Manor had felt like that from the moment she had stepped foot on the land, almost as if she had been destined to return here. That part of her that had been missing and only partially filled by Harry adopting her and Luna into his family was now complete and she couldn’t be happier. Well, not yet anyway. Rochelle was being rather stubborn and insisting they wait to be bound in any legal form. Merlin, it made her want to tie the girl to her bedpost and wear her arse out. Well, in more ways than one if she was being honest.

A knock at the door brought Hermione out of her musings. She turned to see Roxie dressed in suit and tie, at once somewhat boyish and still completely feminine. It was a look that Hermione admitted she would never have been able to pull off. Roxie cocked her head to the side and smirked. “Is that what you’re wearing?” she asked eyeing Hermione’s nude body as if it were a buffet. “Because I would most honestly approve though I doubt the police or your birth mother would agree.”

Hermione snorted and picked up the dress she intended to wear. “I’ll be ready in a minute. I was just making sure I was going to make the right impression.”

“Oh you’re already making an impression,” Roxie replied with a grin. “Shall I go get the harness and show you just how much an impression you’re making?”

“Later,” Hermione responded with a small grin of her own. “If we get into that form of appreciation, we’ll undoubtedly be late.” She slipped the dress on and turned her back to her lover. Zip me up?”

Rochelle quickly complied and gave a small sigh. “As fetching as this dress is on you, I feel it’s missing something.”

“Being crumpled at the foot of the bed I’d wager,” Hermione teased.

Roxie gave her a small smile. “Well that is always my preferred place for your clothing, but I was thinking something a little more practical for the night.” With that, she pulled a small box out of her pocket and brought it in front of her love. “I’m afraid I didn’t have time to wrap it or anything and while it does mean that I accept your proposal in principle, I am not about to start shopping for formal robes. I’m not ready for a full wedding service and I doubt I’ll ever be completely comfortable with the whole til death do us part thing.” She opened the box to reveal a silver ring with a large set black pearl surrounded by a ring of sapphires. Engraved on either side was a stylized “p” and “t” entwined together.

Hermione shakily held out her hand and allowed her lover to put the ring on her before turning around and hugging her. “You are my love and my life,” she whispered.

“From this life til the next,” Roxie whispered back as she returned the hug and nuzzled into Hermione’s neck. “Til the next and beyond my heart and my soul.”

Hermione pulled back and kissed Roxie on the lips. “Forever and a day.” She then quickly cast a tempus and winced. “And we’re late.”

Roxie pulled Hermione close and wiggled her eyebrows. “Did you know that on the continent you can get an ICW apparition license when you’re sixteen?”

Hermione looked at her in confusion. “What does that have to do wi-”

The two popped away before Hermione could finish her question.

***

The self styled Lord Voldemort (really, who in their right mind names himself “flies from death”? You’re basically telling all your enemies that you are afraid to die) was wakened by the pounding of a gavel. He opened his eyes to find himself contained in a glass box with hundreds of ancient and powerful looking glyphs carved in it. Not for the first time, he wished he had taken Ancient Runes instead of Care of Magical Creatures when he was in school, but it had been an easy ”A” and Myrtle had been more than willing to help him out for a bit of fun...well at least up until her “accident”.

He turned his gaze to beyond his confines to see the entirety of the Wizengamot, Dumbledore, several members of the press, and of course there in the back row, Potter. His attention was drawn to the front of the assembled mass as a Wizard, presumably the prosecutor, began speaking. 

“Ladies and gentlemen of the Wizengamot, distinguished guests...Albus… We are here at the pathetic pleas of one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore to try a man that has already not only admitted being in open revolt against our way of life but caught reveling in the rape and torture of our citizenry. He has been questioned under veritaserum and revealed that he not only ordered the deaths of Wizards and Witches, but delighted in the debauched ways his followers carried out their deeds. His actions and the flagrant nature with which they were committed have left no doubt to the blackness of the man’s soul. We are not here to determine his guilt or innocence as he has openly bragged about ‘going further than anyone before’ to achieve immortality. 

“The evidence supplied by Lord Potter in private preceding this trial is alone more than enough to have this man given the most severe penalties allowed by the law.” The prosecutor turned and pointed at Albus. “Yet this man would have you let him walk. This man would tell you that Tom Marvolo Riddle is a misunderstood boy that grew up without love or compassion. This man would plead for what he would call a few confused indiscretions.“ The prosecutor looked ponderous for a moment before continuing. “It takes a special kind of person to think that murder, rape and torture are indiscretions. The law has another name for them: Capital crimes. Of course Albus Dumbledore has never had much use for the law. In point of fact he has shown time and again that he sees it as nothing more than an inconvenience to his plans. 

“But I digress. Albus Dumbledore and his irresponsible decisions and actions are not on trial here. Neither is Mr. Riddle’s guilt or innocence. This is but a sentencing hearing to determine his final fate. I ask of you ladies and gentlemen of the Wizengamot, please send this man to the just punishment that he has earned. Thank you.”

The Chief Witch nodded to the man before turning towards Dumbledore. “Alright Albus, you wanted this farce. Get on with it.”

Dumbledore looked affronted as he stepped before the assembly. “First I must protest that I was not made privy to this new evidence presented.”

The Chief Witch snorted. “Testimony from one Severus Snape indicates that you were fully aware of this evidence and did nothing to bring it to the attention of the Wizengamot or the Department of Mysteries, which I might add is required by law, Mr. Dumbledore. However as Mr. Appleby pointed out, we are not here today to try you. Continue with your plea or sit down.”

Dumbledore grumbled a bit before turning to the Wizengamot. “Ladies and gentlemen of the Wizengamot, I come to you pleading for the life of a misguided young man. One who was not allowed the presence of a family to guide him or show him right from wrong. His magical family, the Gaunts, had fallen so far from their former status that they were barely more than squibs, brother and sister forced together so that they could keep some semblance of their line alive. On the other side were the Riddles, a decadent and despised family that exemplified the very worst of Muggle aristocracy. I ask you should we end this man’s life before he has had a chance to see the error of his ways and correct them?”

A chorus of “Yes!” rang through the room, startling the old wizard and causing Voldemort to chuckle. It wasn’t as if he had anything to worry about. He had his contingencies after all. Albus however, looked forlorn at their decision. Had the fool really hoped to redeem him? He was a god made flesh. He was invincible.

The Chief Witch banged her gavel and spoke again. “Lord Potter you wished to address Mr. Riddle before we sentenced him?”

Potter merely bowed before walking over to the box Voldemort was being held in. He smiled viciously as he looked into Voldemort’s eyes. “Diary, ring, locket, cup, diadem, and my elf is wearing your snake’s hide as leggings. Even if you could get out of that box, the Unspeakables have carved every magic suppression scheme known to man into your body and agreed to shove you through the veil box and all. You’re fucking done Tommy boy. Hope you enjoy whatever Hell you’re going to and don’t worry, I doubt you’ll be alone for too long. People are starting to wise up to the whiskered wanker over there.”

Tom was in shock. He was mortal. He hadn’t even heard the vote on the sentence, not that it mattered. He was being shoved through before the last wand had lit. The end of the Dark Lord Voldemort did not come in a mighty battle or a wave of black magical backlash, but with a box being shoved through a hole and the muttered words, “Well bugger me.”

***

“Harry my boy,” Albus called out hurriedly. “We must prepare. There are things that you do not know and I fear that Voldemort is not gone.”

Harry turned and looked at Albus. “Oh really? This wouldn’t be about the Horcruxes that Tommy boy created would it, because they’re all taken care of.”

Albus staggered back in shock. “H-how? Where did you hear that word from?”

Harry snorted. “From the Goblins of course, right after they found the first of the ones with a piece of Tom in it.”

Albus sighed. “Be that as it may, there is something that you are not aware of. It concerns you and the prophecy.”

Harry shook his head in disappointment and flagged down the Unspeakable representative. “Pay up Oz. He all but admitted it.”

The Unspeakable groaned and handed over three Galleons. “Really? I didn’t think even Albus was that big a bastard.” The man then turned his hooded vissage towards the former headmaster. “Did you once stop to think about the fact of soul anchors getting their start in Egypt or that the Goblins have been dealing with foul magic such as that for nearly two millennia? No. You think of yourself as the next Merlin and if you don’t know it then it can’t be known. 

“Well allow me to enlighten you. You are not the next Merlin. You’re not even the next Aleister Crowley. You are nothing more than a substandard Transfiguration Professor who got lucky with a shot at your former lover and parlayed that into a Headmaster’s position at one of the most prestigious schools on the planet. You then did your damnedest to run that school into the ground all the while proclaiming to one and all how bloody marvelous you are and blackmailing one of the few remaining Alchemists into tolerating your presence for five straight summers as you tried to prove you rudimentary knowledge of potions and hope to attain an apprenticeship with him. 

“Upon failing to get him to acknowledge you as anything more than an ardent idiot, you twist it around to where you and he somehow worked on a mythical quest that had actually been completed two centuries ago. You are only a hero in your own head and the imaginations of your cult of personality. Dear God man, you couldn’t even tell a real Philosopher’s stone from a fake!”

Albus was reeling in shock. “But Harry-”

“Lord Potter has been clear of the Dark Lord’s taint since the end of June last year,” The Unspeakable snapped. “The Goblins had us confirm it right after they removed it. The only side effect of the operation was his eyesight becoming near perfect and his maturity level going back to that of a teenaged boy having been told that he was emancipated and didn’t have to worry about decrepit pedophiles.” The Unspeakable jabbed a bony finger into Albus’ chest. “Now hear this Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. You are no Leader of the Light. You are no great savior. You are just a little old man that has fallen in love with his own press. It is time for you to retire and fade away. Don’t make me put my six hundred year old boot in your arse.”

Harry chuckled and started walking away. “Well that was fun. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a girlfriend to shag. Ta.”

Albus attempted to reach for the boy only for his hand to go through him. “How?”

The unspeakable chuckled. “Come now Albus, you didn’t think Lord Potter would actually give you a chance to get a hold of him. Go away, Albus. Leave Lord Potter alone before he finally becomes fed up with your foolishness and decides to put an end to it.”

***

Tonks looked at the cottage that Bill and Fleur shared with a bit of a sigh. She wanted to go in and have the naked fun time that the evening promised. It had really been too long since she had really had anything that could be categorized as adult companionship. And Merlin knows she needed the release.

Still, Narcissa’s words kept rolling around in her head. Was she happy? A couple months ago she would have said yes. It would have been a lie, but she still would have said it. She knew that Remus was a mixture of settling with the quiet timid guy all the while showing how edgy she was by dating a werewolf. Yeah he was cute enough but he had the personality of Melba toast. Actually Melba toast may have a bit more personality than the supposed last Marauder.

Then there was this date night. It all sounded exciting on the surface but Tonks knew it was just Fleur trying to spice up her sex life. If Bill was anything like Charlie, and she was under no delusions he wasn’t, then the man was probably rather unimaginative in bed. Not that she really could blame them. She heard about the talk that Arthur had given Harry and Ron and was pretty sure that Harry and Katie had gone leaps and bounds beyond that before the little speech. So yeah, it’d be a bit of a laugh, but then what?

Tonks was so lost in her thoughts that she was startled by a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Fleur’s concerned gaze. “You have been standing out here for twenty minutes,” the Veela explained. “William was worried something was wrong.”

Tonks gave her a small smile. “I guess something is wrong,” she explained before pointing to her head. “In here. Something my aunt asked me that’s been bothering me off and on all day.”

“Oh? And what is that?”

“She asked me if I was happy?”

“Oh,” Fleur said with a smile. “And you are not sure?”

Tonks snorted. “Actually, I more than sure that I’m not. My job’s become a joke. My former boyfriend was me playing pretend. I’m willing to jump at the flimsiest excuse for a little slap and tickle and I’m not really all that into the ones that offered it. No offense.” She ran her hand through her hair and glanced at the house. “It’s like I’m playing a role that doesn’t fit me anymore and I’ve played it for so long that I don’t know what else to do.”

Fleur pulled Tonks into a comforting hug. “What is it that you want to do?”

“I want to have fun,” Tonks groaned. “I want to goof off, go to concerts, get in fights and walk around the house naked. Bloody hell, I don’t even care if it’s my house. I just want the chance to actually be as free as I act. Is that too much to ask?”

“Then why don’t you?” Fleur asked. “I know that if you need money that Harry would probably give it to you. You only have yourself to answer to at the moment since your Head of House is about as likely to order you to do something as Gringotts is to hand out free gold. And there is no longer a war looming on the horizon unless Dumbledore decides to do something incredibly stupid. Even then, Harry is most likely just going to snap his neck and be done with it. So why don’t you go out and have a little fun for the time being? Talk to Harry and see if he can find you a place to decompress and find out who you are.”

Tonks smiled at Fleur. “Thanks, I think I will after Hermione’s meeting with Snape. I wouldn’t want to miss whatever she has planned.” She glanced at the cottage then back at Fleur. “Do you think Bill will understand that I’m just not into it? You’re both nice people and all, but I’m just not feeling a connection and I already had one forgettable experience with a Weasley. I’d rather not have another.”

Fleur smiled softly and kissed Tonks’ cheek. “I will convey your regrets. I would much rather keep you as a friend than have a bit of awkwardness between us.”

Tonks hugged the French witch one more time before turning to leave. “Thanks and I’ll try to find some way to make it up to you and Bill. I promise.”

***

Fleur walked into the cottage and sighed. “She’s not going to join us after all,” she told her lover.

“Oh?”

“She is having a minor crisis of direction and was afraid she would be using us as a distraction.” Fleur began to unbutton her cloak and turn back to where she had left Bill. “It sounded similar to the conversation you and I had when I first came to the bank, only less about living up to parents expectations and more about playing a role.”

“I thought you liked playing roles.”

Fleur let her cloak fall to the ground revealing a tight leather corset, knee high boots, and fishnet stockings. “Talk like that gets bad boys punished,” she sneered as she put the toe of her boot under Bill’s chin. She slowly eyed his bindings to make sure none of them had loosened while she was outside. “Do I need to bring out my paddle and beat your insolent tongue into submission?”

Bill stifled a groan of anticipation before answering. “No mistress. This lowly one apologizes for his outburst.”

“Good,” Fleur replied with a smirk as she sat down in front of him. “Now get back to polishing my pearl. Just because our guest is no longer coming shouldn’t mean that I shouldn’t.”

***

Hermione and Roxie both stood as the trio of ladies approached. Before Hermione could begin a long and likely completely formal greeting, the woman with brown hair bowed and spoke first. “Hello my daughter, I am Kino Makoto or as you in the west prefer Makoto Kino. To my left and right are my comrades in arms Hino Rei and Aino Minako.”

Hermione was completely thrown off her game and simply repeated the gesture. “I am of course Hermione Granger, soon to be Prince and this is my intended Rochelle Templeton. Please be seated, I have only put in an order for appetizers.”

The raven haired woman snorted and rattled off something in Japanese which the blonde quickly snapped an angry retort to. The raven-haired girl blushed and bowed her head. “I apologize,” she said in English. “I meant no disrespect. Your tongue is not one I am used to using.”

“This is Rei’s first trip outside of the Empire,” Makoto explained. “We originally came here to find out why the Youma were spying on us only to find out it was a misunderstanding and the work of…” She looked at the blonde and asked something in rapid fire Japanese.

The blonde smirked and looked at Hermione. “He was a social climbing bootlicker that thought he could earn some points by going above and beyond.”

“Mina!” shouted Makoto, obviously not wanting to make a bad impression. 

Hermione tried to hide a snicker with a cough to poor effect. “I see. That explains Bob’s comment about beheading. I take it that there is some history there?”

Makoto nodded. “Stretching back into the early history of our world. I know that western history is not as detailed as ours, but we had much more severe incursions by those you call Goblins, namely a group that had fallen sway under the Dark Lady Beryl Materia. The war was so vicious and brutal that both sides ended up signing a non-interference treaty. There are channels through which we can communicate, but the way the stupid Gaijin went about it almost started a war.”

Hermione shook her head in confusion as the appetizer was being served. “It seems rather silly over a simple request to talk to someone.”

“But you’re not just someone,” Roxie interjected. “Are you Ms. Kino.”

Makoto blushed as she nibbled on the tiny bit of food before her. “No. I am a lieutenant in her Imperial Majesty’s royal guard. Well, until the end of my enlistment year next month. Minako here is the Captain of the Guard and Rei is our spiritual advisor.”

“Ah,” Hermione replied as she unconsciously mimicked her birth mother’s actions. “Might I inquire as to how I came to be then?”

Makoto sighed. “This whole situation was not one of my proudest moments, up to and including being coerced into giving you up for adoption.” She seemed to be struggling with herself for a moment before attempting to explain. “First you must understand that members of the court like myself and Minako are somewhat mistrusted by other members of the court in spite of our history of duty simply due to our heritage.”

“You mean like being a Muggleborn?” Hermione asked.

“I mean by being half Westerner,” Makoto corrected. “Mina-chan is classified as a Half-blood by your culture’s standards and I am considered a pureblood. However Mina’s mother was British and my mother was an American. Therefore we are suspect. However, it also means that we are the best to serve on espionage missions as well. It was on one such mission that I met your birth father. My mission was to track down and subvert a Death Eater training to be a potions master in central Europe.”

Hermione quirked an eyebrow. “And when you found him, you slept with him.”

“Well, I didn’t find out it was him until after the...the…”

“Sweaty fun time?” Minako offered drawing a snort from both teens.

Makoto’s eye twitched. “Anyway, after I found out I then went about completing my mission by implanting the false information I was given and went home. Needless to say no one was happy when I began to develop morning sickness six weeks later. I was pulled immediately from active duty and my fellow guards were told that I was being sent on another mission. My options were next to non-existent at the time and members of the imperial family fought over simply killing you in utero. The crown princess and her consort intervened and not only allowed for you to be born but for me to name you before secreting you back to Britain to be adopted. Still, there hasn’t been a day that I haven’t hoped to hear from you.”

Hermione tried to rein in her anger. “Why did they force you to send me away? Why not raise me in the empire? Am I not good enough for them?”

Makoto was at Hermione’s side in an instant. “My daughter, do not judge them too harshly. You were the daughter of the enemy in many people’s eyes. It was feared that your lord Death Flight would use you to coerce me or worse. At the same time, I was barely out of the Academy myself and viewed with suspicion even though my father was one of the nobility. I had never been raised outside of the Empire but was in many of those same eyes still an outsider. The Empress did the best she could with what she was able to do. She promised me that if you should ever search me out that she would welcome you into court with open arms if that is what you wished.”

Before Hermione could respond, the raven haired woman cleared her throat. “Perhaps it would best to order and dine before we get too far ahead of ourselves.”

***

Dean laid in his bed staring at the ceiling. He had just had what was without a doubt the most extreme sexual experience of his life. Many guys have joked about having sex with two women at essentially the same time, but to actually be thrusting into one woman while the other is encouraging you on only to have their roles reversed moments later was a bit much for the teen to take in. 

Add in the fact that both girls were currently curled up against him sleeping and he had never felt more content in his life and this was adding up to one hell of a summer vacation only a couple weeks in. Still, he felt more than a little guilty about the situation. Harley genuinely knew no one at the moment and he had essentially monopolized Tracey’s time since saving her from the attack. Was he really being fair to them? Was he really any better than some jock that coerces a girl into giving them her virginity?

‘Hey,’ a somewhat familiar voice in his head muttered. ‘I seduced you and miss tickle and moan over there.. Don’t go stealing my thunder.’

‘Like I needed much seducing,’ another familiar voice piped up. ‘If he didn’t do something soon, I was going to tie him to the bed and have my way with him.’

Dean blinked. “What the?”

‘Ask me to explain it in the morning,’ the first voice said as Harley snuggled in closer. ‘Right now I just want to be dream shagging my mates.’

‘So that’s why we can do this!’ the other voice exclaimed. ‘I wonder what else we can do. Oooh, I look hot.’ As the voice rambled on, Tracey snuggled in as well. ‘What all can we do in here? I mean are we awake or are we dreaming?’

‘Technically we’re asleep,’ the first voice explained. ‘The only reason Dreamboat isn’t here with us is that his conscience is keeping him awake.’

‘Oh, so can we do this while awake?’

‘Afraid not. The conscious mind is too hung up on the technical side of things to be able to let go enough to do this. About the best that can happen is if we’re in close physical contact then the awake one can hear those of us that are asleep.’

‘You mean like we are right now?’

‘Yep. Want to give dreamboat an even harder time going to sleep?’

“Oh Merlin,” Dean muttered. This is totally not fair.”

***

“So what is this about being intended?” Makoto asked her daughter. She held up a hand to forestall any protest. “I am only asking out of curiosity and a wish to get to know you and your family better. I have no right to judge your life choices and wouldn’t even if I did. It would be highly hypocritical of me to encourage my friend’s choice of partner while discouraging my daughter from the same choice.”

Hermione looked between Rei and Minako. “So the two of you are..”

“No!” both ladies shouted at the same time, quickly followed by Minako adding, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

Makoto chuckled as she took a sip of wine. “No, Mina-chan and Rei-chan are both very appreciative of Male anatomy. I was referring to another friend of mine who recently professed her love for another one of our captains.” Makoto frowned and glanced at Minako. “Why am I not a captain yet?”

Minako snorted. “Because technically Vice Marshal is higher than captain. You all just keep calling me captain out of habit and since we’ve never worked directly with the rest of the Military I’ve never felt the need to point it out. That it makes Haruka uncomfortable every time you lot salute her is just hilarious.” At Hermione’s confused look Minako elaborated. “We’re technically Haruka’s superiors, but she’s been in the Imperial Military longer than any of us and we’re special cases as Her Imperial Majesty’s personal guard.”

“I figured that much,” Hermione explained. “I was just confused about the Imperial Military part. I thought Japan was forbidden from having a military due to the treaties signed at the end of the Second World War.”

Minako grinned. “Ah, but the Empire isn’t Japan. Usagi’s official title is Her imperial majesty of the Empire of the Crystal Lotus. It covers magical communities in Japan, both Koreas, Laos, Vietnam, Indonesia, Hawaii, and China east of TIbet. Due to the Statute of Secrecy, we are prohibited from acting directly in the affairs of our muggle neighbors but when we met with the American Magical representative, it was realized that our government and Muggle Japan were very different animals and that we had been a shadow ally of theirs through much of the war.”

“We so need a better History of Magic Professor at Hogwarts,” Hermione sighed. “Every time I think I know what’s going on, I find myself completely out of my depth.”

“Just do what the rest of the Wizarding world does when dealing with problems in Britain,” advised Roxie. “Blame Dumbledore.”

“I thought that was just me and Harry,” Hermione replied with a grin.

“That Akujin is a plague on the world,” Rei spat. “As bad as Materia, but at least she was open with her machinations.”

Hermione blinked in shock. “I don’t believe it will make you feel any better, but Harry and I have come to the conclusion that Dumbledore is at least somewhat delusional. He honestly thinks he is doing the right thing and is just too damaged to realize that he’s doing more harm than good.”

“What could cause that kind of delusion?” Minako asked.

“Perhaps you could discuss this later when I’m not trying to find out about my daughter,” Makoto interrupted with a smile causing all the women at the table save for her and Roxie to blush. “Now, back to your intended.” This had the effect of making Roxie look uncomfortable. “When did you meet?”

Hermione looked thoughtful. “I believe somewhere around eighteen months in age. Her Mother and my adopted father are siblings.”

“We’d always been close, but nothing came of it until after Hermione found out she was adopted,” Roxie hastened to explain. “It was always like we were drawn to be together growing up. Then my father got a position in Spain as an ambassador and she went to an exclusive boarding school for gifted children in Scotland. Since father never told anyone about his magic and mother was a muggle, we didn’t find out about each other being Witches until this summer.”

Hermione took a sip of her coffee before picking up the explanation. “I’d recently have had a lot of ups and downs in my life and was acting a little erratic when I agreed to meet up with Roxie. In the span of a week, I had been injured in a battle with Death Eaters, poisoned by a person who was supposed to be a friend, told I was adopted, found out my birth father was a man that I almost totally despised, and discovered that both my grade school rival and only member of my adopted family I cared about were magical. I may have went a little round the twist and attached myself to the nearest anchor.”

“She drug me up to her room and claimed me,” Roxie explained. “Repeatedly. And no I’m not going into details.”

Hermione nodded, a blush coloring her cheeks. “My magic was more than a little erratic and even being stabilized by Roxie’s presence I’m still not completely myself.” She stood and bowed slightly. “That being said, I’m a bit overdue for my pain medication and the delivery system I have come up with is not permissible in here due to Muggle laws.”

“Perhaps I could join you outside then while one of the others handle the check,” Makoto offered. Before Hermione could protest, Makoto continued. “I will pay them back as soon as we return to the Empire. I am lousy at currency conversion and always end up severely over tipping. Also, my salary can more than handle an evening meal here.” This drew snickers from both her companions. “Hush you two. There is more than time for that talk later.”

Makoto caught Roxie glancing towards the left before the woman replied, “Actually I need to visit the little witches room. Perhaps I could join you outside afterwards.”

“I could freshen up myself,” Rei quickly followed up. “Perhaps you could show me where it is?”

Mina merely smiled and waved Makoto and Hermione on. “Go get know one another. I’ll handle the check.”

“If you’re sure,” Hermione replied biting her lip before following her mother out.

***

Roxie continued to walk casually as she whispered to Rei in the woman’s native tongue. “What you are about to see does not get back to my beloved without my permission.”

The woman blinked in surprise before cautiously nodding. “You have my word,” she answered back in her native tongue.

Roxie chose that moment to move forward and catch a man under the chin with the base of her palm before slipping her other hand along his wrist to confiscate his wand. She struck him another four times before removing the likely poisoned dagger at his waist and then another two before relieving him of a dagger in his boot. Her final strike was aimed in such a way to send the hollowed tooth that likely contained poison flying. As the man crumpled to the floor, Roxie turned to see that the woman had subdued another individual and was likewise removing his armament.

“I take it that these two were working together,” the woman replied as she bound her subject with his own dinner jacket.

Roxie shook her head. “No.” She pulled the cuff up on her unconscious individual revealing an ouroboros tattoo on his wrist. “This man is Solificati. They only send one man on assassination attempts. I’d wager that they had the same target in mind though.”

Rei nodded as she produced a grotesque theatre mask from her man’s jacket. “Ksirafai here. I thought they had been wiped out by Grindelwald’s forces.”

Roxie shook her head as she bound her man. “Nah, they’re just very good at hiding. However a high value target like Hermione would be too good for them to pass up.”

“Hermione?” Rei asked. “What makes you sure they weren’t after one of us?”

Roxie snickered. “Because my dear Mia is the declared sister of the Boy-Who-Lived. Sorry but family of miracle child trumps foreign visiting dignitaries in these plonkers minds any day.”

Rei nodded thoughtfully. “So you are her protection detail as well as her lover.”

Roxie shook her head. “I am hers and she is mine. I owe no allegiance to anyone save my Mia.”

“Ah,” Rei responded with a smirk. “So how old are you really?”

“Sixteen,” Roxie answered truthfully. “However I had a battle of wills with an ancient artifact and may have come out with quite a bit more than I went in with. A story for another time.”

“And the reason that you haven’t told her?”

“She just found out I was a witch three days ago and proceeded to mate with me,” Roxie replied with a sigh. “I want to wait a bit before I tell her that I have the skills of a fourteenth century janissary rattling around in my head.”

They were interrupted by Minako arriving. “Oh good,” she replied in English. “You got both of them. If you trust Rei to handle them then perhaps we can make excuses for her with Hermione and Mako-chan?”

Roxie stood and used her wand to repair the damage to her own clothing before waving ahead of herself. “Lead the way.”

***

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief as the painkiller took effect. She gave a sheepish smile before gesturing towards the cigarette. “I know it looks horrible, but it’s slightly more socially acceptable than drinking from a bottle in public.”

Makoto smiled at her. “Nothing to apologize for. In point of fact, I am surprised that Britain has come up with something so ingenious.”

“Um, it’s actually my own creation.” Hermione blushed and looked away. “It sorta came to me when I learned that tobacco was magically neutral. It seemed rather obvious to soak the tobacco in a potion and then use it as a delivery system. What I didn’t take into account was the unexpected side effect.” 

“Side effect?”

Hermione blushed. “Apparently the potion infused cigarettes are even more potent than the potion by itself due to the result of them being inhaled and entering the bloodstream directly instead of being absorbed through digestion. My first attempt left Harry stoned for days back in fourth year.”

“Harry?” Makoto teased. “Would this happened to be a former boyfriend?”

Hermione chuckled. “Actually current adopted brother and best friend, though plenty of people made that assumption since we practically lived in each others back pocket most years. I would have invited him to join us if he wasn’t off fighting his crusade against Dumbledore.”

“So you’ve always been gay,” Makoto surmised. At the sharp look from Hermione, Makoto sighed. “I’m not judging daughter. I am trying to get to know you. Would you rather I ask about why you and your friends decided to break into your Ministry of Magic? Or perhaps I should enquire about this article Minako found about you romancing Viktor Krum. I think it’s a bit early to ask how your grades are, though I probably needn’t worry considering the little invention you have there.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose chuckling. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I want to get to know everything about you and I’m terrible with small talk.”

Hermione chuckled. “Like mother like daughter,” Hermione admitted. “And yes, I guess I’ve always been homosexual or I guess more accurately Roxie-sexual. I mean I can appreciate other women, but I only really ever wanted to be with her. As for the rest of that stuff…” Hermione groaned and shook her head. “Dumbledore all but blackmailed me into going to the ball with Viktor Krum so he could push Harry and Ron back together as friends and he’d have his little spy back in our group. Little did he realize that we already knew Ron was a spy and were feeding him misinformation.”

She put out the pain killer and stretched. “As for the Ministry, we knew it was a trap and intentionally set it off, hoping to keep everyone right where we needed them. Unfortunately, one of Dumbledore’s people dosed one of our side with what he thought was a healing potion and turned out to be a confounding potion. The end result was Harry’s godfather dying and the thestral dung hitting the fan.”

Hermione took a breath and tried to get her emotions under control. “Two days later, while I’m still recovering from the battle I might add, Dumbledore’s spy doses me with amorentia and a loyalty potion keyed to Dumbledore. Thankfully his first order was for me to tell Harry I wasn’t in love with him anymore, something neither of us felt to begin with, and Harry was able to get me to the Goblins so I could be flushed before any permanent damage could be done.”

Hermione felt Makoto wrap her in a hug and for the first time in the past week, she felt safe with someone other than Roxie. It was enough to let the tears she had been holding to fall. “I knew he was a traitor and a spy. I knew I couldn’t trust the redhead snake at all. I knew that he wasn’t really our friend and that he was being paid to even associate with us. So why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel so betrayed and violated by him?”

“Betrayal always hurts,” Makoto whispered as she held her daughter. “Those betrayals that we see coming hurt even more as we are constantly hoping that we are wrong and do not want to think poorly of others. So mourn that lost friendship no matter how artificial it was on their side, for you did at some point feel kinship towards them and were betrayed.”

“How did you get so wise?” Hermione asked through her tears. 

Makoto smiled softly. “Mostly by being hurt a lot and repeating the words spoken to me. Something I pray you never have to experience. Now unless you want your beloved to see you all a mess, I suggest you make yourself presentable as she is on her way over here with Minako.”

Hermione smiled and cast a quick charm to clear her complexion before turning around to face her lover. It apparently wasn’t enough as Roxie looked a bit concerned. “Something I thought I was over,” she answered her love’s unasked question. “We can cry over it later.”

“Rei was feeling unwell and went home,” Minako volunteered as if there was nothing amiss. “Shall we continue the evening elsewhere?”  
***

Dear Dean,

You’re having me on. I mean I wouldn’t put it past Hermione to have thought about doing something like that and given half a chance then yeah I’d go for a jaunt through the multiverse if it meant getting away from my stalkers, but Ravenclaw? Me? You’ve got to be having me on. 

I’ll ask Hermione to come by when she has a moment free to confirm and parlay on your behalf with Gringotts. I’ve set a family meeting for the week before school starts. Hopefully you’ll both be legal enough to attend. Yes, I consider you family after what you did for Hermione and me. Until then, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Your brother from another mother,

Harry

***

Dear Harry,

What exactly wouldn’t you do? Asking for a friend.

Dean

***

Dear Dean,

If she’s pregnant before you’re married then we are going to have words.

Harry

***

Dear Lord Potter,

We regret to inform you that it has been decided that Gringotts will no longer be receiving wagers from you on any future outcome until such time as we have determined that you do not in fact have a time turner or other highly effective divinatory device in your possession. Please find enclosed the remainder of your undetermined wagers enclosed. 

Gringotts is more than willing to continue business in other endeavors and will gladly continue serving all your banking needs. Should you have any need for any other services that Gringotts can provide, we will happily negotiate those on a case by case basis. 

Any complaints, concerns or questions can be either handled directly through your account manager or through correspondence with the customer service department in the bank. Thank you for your time and we await any further business with you so long as it isn’t gambling.

Sincerely,

Jungfuhk of the Baddei Clan  
Senior Account Manager for the Potter, Black, Malfoy, Lestrange and Gaunt accounts.  
Gringotts bank

***

Dear Bob,

Does this mean we should start referring to you as Sam now? Also, does this mean you have subordinates now? Because I know for a fact that four of those accounts have nothing in them. 

Just saying,

Harry

***

Dear Harry,

Sam Bob does have a certain ring to it, but I am not a vain man...or a vein man for that matter. In regards to subordinates, I have also been put in charge of Mr. Thomas and Ms. Granger’s accounts as well. Granted they are not nearly as substantial as your own, but as I am only one Goblin and Ms. Granger has some sensitive issues surrounding her requiring more personal attention from time to time, I have been given Lymptdeck and Ms. Delacour as assistants. Please feel free to employ either of them if I should prove to be indisposed. 

Sincerely

Jungfuhk of the Baddei Clan  
Senior Account Manager for the Potter, Black, Malfoy, Lestrange and Gaunt accounts.  
Gringotts bank

***

Luna read the latest issue of the Quibbler with a resigned eye. “I hate to say it, but he does have talent. If only I could get him off that crusade against Dumbledore.” She glanced up at Ginny who was currently tied out spread eagle across a picnic blanket and gagged. “What do you think Ginny?”

“Mphh...Mrphrml,” the girl replied through the gag.

“Yes, I realize that daddy left him in charge while we’re on our expedition, but this level of animosity towards anyone is unhealthy.”

“Qrt rdn,” the bound girl growled through the gag. 

“Quit reading?” Luna responded in shock. “But what am I supposed to do while we wait for the Snorkack to take the bait? I guess I could use the carrot to play with you again but that would obscure the Snorkack’s view of you.”

“Mby vgtrn,” Ginny mumbled through the gag.

“So you’re saying it was the carrot I was using on you and not the sight of your lovely bits that caught it’s attention last time?” At the girl’s nod Luna sighed and stood to remove her panties. “Well if we’re going to try it that way then you’re going to be licking my missy while we do it this time. I’m getting quite fed up with your taking advantage of my giving nature.”

“Mmky.”

***


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is owned by Fujimi Shobo. Sailor Moon is owned by Kodansha. Harry Potter and friends were created by J. K. Rowling and are co owned by her, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters and am pretty much using them without permission. I intend no attack on the copyrights of these properties and no monies are being made. Please no sue.

Chapter 5

Hermione woke in her bed looking at something that she couldn’t wrap her head around. Before her was a five foot simulacra of herself in a shear maids outfit thin enough that she could make out her doppelganger’s nipples and short enough that you could tell that she wasn’t wearing knickers. That the whole thing seemed to be made out of black lace was just the perverted icing on the cake. 

As her brain tried to restart from the overload of teenage hormones warring with the implications of whether this could be taken as some form of incestuous fantasy or outright narcissism, her naughty double spoke. “I am clothed and ready for duty Mistress Hermione.”

This caused Hermione’s brain to reboot hard as she came up almost out of her bed. “Winky! What the bloody hell happened to you!”

Winky bit her lip and looked at Hermione with worry. “Does Mistress not approve of my appearance?”

“Uh...” Hermione was stuck for a minute as to how to approach this. “You look great. It’s just that you changed so much. How did this happen?”

Winky shrugged. “I am not entirely sure Mistress, but there are legends of Elfs that bond very close to their masters being even more than they were before. The elf is said to be even more like their master and taking after some of his or her personality quirks. There is even some legends that tell of the Elf being something of an extension of the Master’s will and desires.”

“Uh huh.” Hermione looked the elf over and gave a sigh. “And that outfit surely does play to my pervy side. Fine. Okay, I can work with this now that I know what I am dealing with.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a calming breath. “Winky, you have probably noticed that there are guests in the manor. One of them is my birth mother. It would not do good for you to be seen like this by her.”

Winky giggled mischievously and snapped her fingers. All of a sudden she was in a more appropriate maid’s outfit complete with appropriate underwear and opacity. “I am aware Mistress, but couldn’t resist the reaction the other dress would create. Shall I keep it around for special occasions?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Of course my elf pranks me. Does this mean that you’re like me in other ways as well?”

Winky took on a very Hermione-like thoughtful pose. “I’m not entirely certain but I do know I’m no longer interested in boy elfs.”

“Were you before?”

Winky shrugged. “Only as a means of making sure there would be future House Elfs. To be honest, I’m not sure I am a House Elf anymore.”

For once Hermione was glad that she and Roxie had decided to sleep in separate rooms last night. She could practically hear the snickering from her. “I get a House Elf and create a completely new species,” she muttered. “Bloody marvelous.”

“Is there anything you wish for me to do this morning, Mistress?” Winky asked. “Laundry, breakfast? Help with your bath?”

Hermione fought the image of the naked elf scrubbing her down and growled. “First, don’t call me mistress and second you threw that last one in intentionally.”

“Responding in order,” Winky shot back, “Mistress is non-negotiable and second I have no idea what you are talking about...well, unless you mean making you squirm in your pajamas because that was entirely intentional. As it stands, your conscience will not allow you to give me clothes and your subconscious will sexualize any punishment you decide to give me. Also, in spite of your protests to the contrary, I can see that you get a thrill whenever I call you mistress, Mistress.”

Hermione sighed and laid back knowing that deep down the elf was right. “How did I get stuck with the perv and not Harry?” she moaned.

“How are you sure that Mister Harry’s Elf is not just as pervy as me?” Winky asked. 

Hermione was about to respond when she realized that in point of fact she hadn’t seen Dobby lately. “Huh, you may be onto something, Winky. Now, I want you to go prepare breakfast for everyone and I’ll be down in a bit. Then we can go over the things that need to be done while you join us for lunch.”

Winky saluted with a grin. “Can I sit on your lap while we eat?” 

Hermione gave her a rather stern look. “Not today and you are to behave yourself while my birth mother is here.”

“Yes Mistress!”

***

Dear Harry,

I think I really need to get away from things for a while. Maybe take up a hobby or something. I don’t know why but I’ve been feeling like I have to force my smile more and more lately and I’m getting real tired of fighting this funk I’ve been in. I hate to say it this way, but I think I really miss Sirius. I know I don’t have the right since you knew him about as long as I did, but there’s been something missing since he’s been gone and I can’t put my finger on it. It’s like the fun’s been sucked out of the room somehow.

Anyway, I don’t want to drag you down or anything, but could you get Aunt Cissa moved to someone else’s supervision for a while so I can go try to get my head on straight? Not sure about what I want to do yet, but pretty sure I don’t want my mother’s baby sister watching me do it. Also, I’ve come into a lot of money recently and don’t know who to talk to at Gringotts about it. Any advice?

You’re irresponsible big sister,

Tonks

P.S. - I can hear every time you think that bloody name so quit it.

***

Dear Tonks,

I know a bloody name? I didn’t know names came covered in blood. I know that there are names that will cause massive amounts of bloodshed that parents for some unfathomable reason name their children. There are also names that cause children no end of bullying and potential sexual assaults when they’re older just by being forced to live with them, but that’s another story. 

As for the problem with Narcissa, I talked it over with my legal council and Ted has agreed to let your mother put her up there. However, I did have to give him permission to lay down any ground rules he felt were necessary. So please tell Narcissa that she’s in for a rough time of it. 

On the finance side, I talked to Bob and he’s having a look into your account. I’m pretty sure he’s going to hand it off to Larry, and no that’s not the Goblin’s real name and I’m not going to write his real name. You’ll understand when he writes you. 

As for getting away, I might have a solution. However I need to see if there is room and make a few arrangements. It’s not out of the country, but it is out of the limelight and you won’t have to worry about anyone thinking you’re weird for walking around in a t-shirt that doesn’t even cover your nippples. If everything works out, I’ll have a place for you to unwind by the end of the day. 

Give Hermione my best and Snape a punch in the ghoulies before you quit.

Your deviant little brother,

Harry

***

Dear Dean,

I need a favor…

***

Dean read the letter as he made breakfast, giving a snort as to just what his friend was asking. Hermione had written last night and said she would be by after her meeting with Snape to help start things with the Goblins and Harley, and he wasn’t exactly sure what was going on between him and the girl. Or Harley and Tracey for that matter. To be entirely honest, he wasn’t even sure what was going on between himself and Tracey right now and that was scaring him the most. 

He placed the plates down on the table and waited for the smell to bring them out of the bedroom. It seemed rather pointless to call it his bedroom anymore. Harley just set herself up in there that night and helped Tracey move her things down this morning. It appeared that the ladies had claimed him and were staking their turf. 

Harley walked in and sat down, wearing a Newcastle Knights jersey and probably nothing underneath. She sighed as she began pulling food onto her plate. “You could have told us no,” she said softly. “We don’t have to stay together all the time.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “So now you can read my mind?”

Harley shook her head. “Your expression. Cal used to get that look every time I did something to annoy him. Which I hate to admit was far too often.” She tugged at the jersey. “Won it off a couple boys that thought it’d be a laugh to get the cute girl to play strip poker. I didn’t take off so much as a sock. Cal was livid for a week.”

Tracey came in wearing a jersey of her own, hers being Manchester United. She sat down and got her own food before looking at him. “Are you still mad at us for what we did last night, because I really don’t remember what happened.”

Dean sighed and took his own seat. “I’m not mad about last night or that you both moved into my room. Well not really. It just feels like I’m being railroaded and I would like to know at least why it’s all happening.”

Harley put her fork down looking incredibly guilty. “Uh yeah, that railroading feeling may be a bit of my fault.” She sighed and looked at the other two at the table. “There is more than one reason that Cal sent me away. Yeah I wanted to get away from all the stupidity, but the big reason had to do with my magic. You see, when Tom hit me with the Avada it wasn’t normal. From what I gather, your Harry took it in the head right?” At their nods she continued. 

“I took it in the normal place however: right in the chest. Now like your guy, Mum put a whole slew of protections on me. However, unlike him my protections sorta screwed up. For some strange reason the protections, my magic and the magic of the spell somehow made this weird feedback loop that kept building in me until something would come to vent it off. This wasn’t that much of a problem at the Dursleys as I would have the feedback leeched off to feed the wards to keep those miserable wastes of space breathing. In fact, I only had one backlash the entire time I was there, when Uncle Vernon tried to do things he shouldn’t.

“However Hogwarts was another story. In my first year, I blew up a room in the castle and the defense professor. Second year it was the Potions lab and Snape. Third year it was the Shrieking Shack. Fourth year, I turned a graveyard into a crater. Fifth year, I wiped out the Department of Mysteries. Cal figured that if things continued then I would eventually detonate bad enough that I’d blow the statute of secrecy if I hadn’t damaged it already. He also realized that I was resonating on a different wavelength from all the other magicals in our world. In short I had to leave and that should fix most of my problems.”

“Most?” Dean interjected in morbid curiosity.

Harley winced. “This is the messy part. The way Cal explained it was that there were two parts to my problem. The first was that I was resonating differently from everything else which was causing me to build up all this power. Something like a static charge. The second part of the problem was like a capacitor I would release the charge all at once generally frying anything near me. So even though I would be going to a place that resonated along with me and I shouldn’t build too much charge up, I would still build up enough that I could accidentally hurt someone if I didn’t have something or more appropriately someone to bleed it off.”

“Wait,” Tracey held up her hand in sudden realization. “Are you telling us that the energy you build up is sex energy?”

“Not sex per say,” Harley corrected, “More like life energy or more precisely positive energy. The easiest expulsion of that energy is however through sex, so in a sense yes you’d be right.” She bit her lip and looked at her half eaten plate. “Cal, in an effort to give me the best chance possible developed the spell matrix to send me to the most compatible people on the alternate reality that matched my signature wavelength. He also told me that once I was there that I would have to bleed off any excess energy I may have picked up in the travel to this world.”

“So you pulled us into bed,” Dean deadpanned.

“Um yeah.”

“And that is going to keep the world from going boom,” Tracey added.

Harley winced. “Well, probably not the world but at least Greater Kent.”

Both teens stared at her for a minute.

“Well I’m sold,” Dean finally replied.

“Yeah,” agreed Tracey, “Me too. Where’s the sunscreen? I want to check out this deck you told me about.”

Harley blinked and looked at them incredulously. “Wait, that’s it?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Harley, we’re teenagers and you just told us that we have to shag to save the world. Definitely beats having to do something like fighting Death Eaters or crazy Dark Lords.”

“Trust me,” Tracey confirmed as she moved to hug Harley, “If all it took to save the day was sex, then there would be applicants in every secondary around the world.” She kissed the young woman on the cheek. “Doesn’t hurt when your partners are as enthusiastic as you either.”

Harley sighed in relief. “So you two aren’t mad?” 

Dean shrugged then shook his head. “A part of me wishes you’d said something earlier, but then I probably would have had performance anxiety.” He moved his chair closer to Harley. “On a totally unrelated front, I’ve been thinking about what to do for the rest of the summer. In the past, I would go to a park and draw. This house however has given me a few ideas. Ideas that Harry may unintentionally help in developing.”

Tracey grinned. “Let me guess. You’re going to open a brothel and turn us out for tricks.”

Dean mock glared at her. “No, I was thinking of turning this place into an Artist commune and retreat. Harry unintentionally helped by asking me if I’d put his cousin up for a while.”

“Which one?” Harley asked.

“Tonks.”

Harley grinned. “Oh we are going to have so much fun if she’s like my Tonksie.”  
“How so?” Tracey asked.

Harley grinned and whispered into Tracey’s ear. The honey haired girl’s eyes began to comically widen. “Oh bloody hell! All three of them!”

“And she she did it while giving me the talk.”

***

The Quibbler

Dark Lord Riddle Sentenced and Executed! Dark Lord Dumbledore warned away from Potter Head! Dragonfire may lead to cure for Lycanthropy! Fenrir Greyback first test case!

Parker Olsen Reporting

***

Hermione took a deep breath before she met possibly the only person she hated more than Dumbledore at the moment. She had received some encouragement from Mako- from her mother and was feeling more confident about what she was about to do, but still. This man had made every Gryffindor’s life a personal hell for the last fifteen years and all with the blessing of one Albus Dumbledore. This was the man who made it his life’s mission to make her and her friends’ lives miserable.

She made her way through the secure floo and found herself staring at the hated man. She could see Tonks and the Healer that she recommended off to the side, but neither looked like they were going to particularly jump to the man’s aid. 

“Well,” Snape snapped. “What is so horribly important that you felt I needed to know?”

Hermione placed the results for the Heritage test down within reach of him. “It has been verified at Gringotts,” she said hollowly. “I felt you deserved to know.”

Snape glanced at the parchment briefly, only to be drawn back to it immediately. “What! How! This…”

“I was conceived in a moment of drunken weakness by two enemies,” Hermione continued, ignoring his shock. “A pureblood that would be reviled in either’s homeland. Thankfully my mother loved me enough to give me a chance at life, where my father would have been more likely to discard me as some failure. Ironically, his ignorance allowed me to claim the Prince fortune as well as his estate as he will no longer have any use for it.”

“You’re taking my-”

“You will never see the outside of this suite!” Hermione shouted, cutting the man off. “You will never see the outside of this suite. There are control runes here that ensure you will make potions to the best of your ability and prohibit you from attacking those who come in to visit you. Any attempt by you to use the Floo, the only way in or out of here, will result in your immediate death. How do I know this? I talked to the person who designed it. It is called the oubliette and was made to hold people that were too valuable to kill but too annoying to deal with. After we leave today, the second array will be instituted which will remove anyone’s memories of just who is in here. To the outside world you will just disappear, unlamented and soon forgotten. Meanwhile, I will be rebuilding my life with the wealth of the man that tried to destroy me. Wealth ironically that you could have claimed before you ever joined Riddle’s mad scheme if you had only thought to go and have a heritage test. Yes, you knew who your family was but it only matters to the Goblins if you can prove it. Your pride and arrogance are what destroyed you and know that while I may carry your blood, there is no way in hell that I would ever call you father.”

She then turned and walked away from him and reentered the floo, returning to her life free of the man she would never think of again.

***

Severus Snape stared after her for a minute before looking again at the sheet in front of him. He remembered Makoto Kino well. The one light in the otherwise dreary experience that was his potions apprenticeship. He could see so much in the Granger girl that he’d intentionally overlooked. So many things that should have been obvious save for his single minded hatred of all things Gryffindor. A hatred fed and goaded by that fool and his ineffectual deputy. 

He had known Petunia Evans wouldn’t raise a dog properly let alone her Sister’s son. He’d known that Black was as likely to betray Potter as a man was to tear out their own heart. He’d known a million things that would have changed the outcome of a thousand things. None of that mattered so long as he got his petty revenge. Albus had been right all those years ago. He was a poor petty man and now look at what it had gotten him. Nothing. He was soon to be just another faceless potioneer that no one would recognize. How many of them did the DMLE have in places such as this? How many useful but forgettable people were in these little coffins waiting for their day to die and producing objects for people who hated them?

He wanted to rail and scream at the injustice of it all, but instead he laughed. “She really is brilliant,” he found himself saying. “I never told her, but the leaps of logic she could come to. The way she managed to keep that boy alive. The little projects that she kept coming up with when she thought no one was watching.” He leaned back and looked at Tonks. “I would have made her my apprentice if Albus would have allowed it. Her grasp of potions was beyond even my comprehension at times. She was a secret pleasure to teach instead of all the usual dunderheads. And like a fool I threw it all away for petty jealousy and juvenile revenge.”

He continued to laugh at the fact that his daughter had achieved what he had been offered but scorned. How many times had James Potter offered to bury their differences? How often had Lily offered him to be her brother? So many opportunities wasted where a boy he willed to be his enemy could have instead been that connection to the little girl he had loved so long ago. So many opportunities wasted and for what? He continued laughing even when it became to painful to bear, well past the point of ludicrous and verging on concerning. 

His laughter now coming out in a fit of madness at all he lost because of that stupid old man and more importantly himself. Not only what he had made but what could have been made the potential that he squandered. They could have cured lycanthropy or cancer or any of a multitude of other plagues on the world! They could have been famous. World changers! And it was all gone because of a fool too blind to see past his own nose!

Somewhere in all that absurdity, Severus felt his mind give way. 

***

Tonks looked at the man cackling in the chair in front of her with more than a bit of worry before looking at Healer Addison. “Um….”

Healer Addison cast a couple diagnostics, blinked, then cast a couple more before looking at the man incredulously. “He survives multiple exposures to the cruciatus, fifteen years of teenaged hormones, Albus Dumbledore’s insane schemes and it is that young woman castigating him that does him in?” She looked over at Tonks. “I’m at a loss.”

Tonks shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe he had a thing for pain and suffering.”

***

Albus Dumbledore awaited the latest of his attempts to get an audience with Harry Potter. This time, there would be no chance for him to refuse. Granted it required the illegal creation of a portkey, but the greater good demanded it. He also took away the boy’s right to decide by setting it to activate as soon as the letter was opened. Yes, this was certain to succeed.

He could see it now. Harry, once hearing Albus out and understanding what must be done for the greater good will sacrifice himself to ensure that Voldemort never rises again. It distressed Albus that no one used Tom’s name for himself anymore. It was all Riddle this and Riddle that, like any Tom, Dick or Harry could upset the wizarding world with but a little determination (that a Tom and a Harry had both done it in his lifetime being completely lost on him).

He was brought out of his musings by the flash of the portkey arriving. “Ah Mr. Potter,” he began as he turned toward where Harry should have been only to find the letter open on the floor with what appeared to be a tremendously large tube attached to it. A tube that also contained a quickly burning fuse. Albus quickly dove behind his bed just as the fuse disappeared inside the tube and an incredible explosion of color exploded out from it. 

After his ears ceased ringing, the aged wizard rose to see written on his wall in garish orange and yellow paint, “I said go fuck yourself, not keep fucking with me! The next one is lethal!”

Albus groaned in frustration. Frustration that only increased with Aberforth yelling down the hall. “You better not have damaged that room Albus! If you have I’m takin’ it out of your hide!”

***

Petunia Dursley nervously made her way to the address she had been given by that accursed owl. On the surface, it seemed to be nothing more than a simple tea house, but Petunia was certain that it was something more. It always was with those freaks. There was always something strange and freakish about everything they did. She could still remember back to that weekend the Black girl had come over and the vibrating banana.

Petunia shuddered to herself as she quickly ordered a tea and took a seat near a window as she had been instructed and she was soon joined by a pleasant looking young lady with her own cuppa. The young woman laid a small envelope on the table between them and then began sipping her tea. Petunia stared at it as if it was some weird animal.

“It won’t bite,” the young woman commented, humor lacing her voice.

“One can never tell with your kind,” Petunia snapped back.

The young woman raised an eyebrow as Petunia took her in. She was close to her Dudley’s age with brown hair, lightly tanned skin and dark blue eyes. Her svelte figure was clad in what could pass for normal attire aside from the legend on her blouse. Even that could be written off as a passing whimsy. Really who would think much of “Dragon Handler” except perhaps in a sexual context that the girl had probably intended.

“Fair enough,” the young woman finally replied as she continued to sip her tea. “Suffice it to say that there is nothing wrong with the envelope or the money inside. Harry wants nothing more to do with you, but never intended for you to get caught up in this mess. The money is to cover your expenses and to get you out of the country. I trust you and your son have passports.”

“I won’t be kicked out of my country,” Petunia snarled. 

The young woman rolled her eyes. “It’s only for the summer. By then, this mess should be cleared and you and your son can go back to whatever boring life you intend to live. Of course if your son continues to deal narcotics, then I imagine his life won’t be boring for too much longer. I hear large boned boys are quite popular in prison. More cushion for the pushin’ I believe is the phrase.”

Petunia paled at the insinuation and nervously picked up the envelope. “Perhaps a nice trip to Gibraltar would clear our heads.”

“Good idea,” The young woman replied before standing. “Oh, and just so we’re clear Mrs. Dursley. If you ever come after my Harry for anything ever again, there won’t be enough of you to fill a mint tin.”

Petunia watched as the young woman calmly walked out of the tea house, her mind whirring about the implications of what was said. Yes, Gibraltar sounded like the perfect place to go and perhaps they should just stay there. 

***

Dean and the girls arrived at the bank to find an amused Hermione, Bob and Larry waiting for them. Hermione looked at Dean and shook her head. “I can already hear the rumor mill at Hogwarts. Dean Thomas, Casanova of Gryffindor, and his illicit summer of love.”

Tracey grinned. “We’re working on that.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow and glanced at Dean who only shrugged and nodded sheepishly. “I see. Well, Bob and I will be handling Ms. Potter and I believe Larry had some things to go over with Ms. Davis.”

Dean looked between the girls for a second before Tracey nudged him towards Harley. “I’ll be fine Dean, it’s probably just something to do with my family’s vault. We’ll join you in a bit.”

 

“Actually,” Larry replied, looking more than a little sheepish, “if Mr. Thomas would also join me then we could go over some of his assets and a few minor items that will require his attention as well. That is if no one minds.”

Harley merely shrugged and glanced at Dean and Tracey. “If she’s anything like Cal then I’m safe and I shouldn’t need to um...discharge any time soon.”

“Yeah,” Dean replied with a chuckle, “good thing that. Alright, I’ll go with Tracey then. Just take care of Harley, okay Hermione?”

At his friend’s nod, Dean followed Tracey and Larry to a door not too far from the one that entered into Bob’s office. “Limp di- Do you Goblins have any names that aren’t going to make me twitch?”

Larry shrugged. “In our language, Dean is something one does with their lover. Their dominant male lover, I might add. I’d not throw stones Mr. Thomas.” He made his way behind his desk and gathered a small stack of papers. “Now first, Ms. Davis there has been another claim placed on the Davis accounts. They were quite surprised to find out that you not only still lived but had taken the foresight to make out a will that did not include them in the event of your unplanned departure from this world.”

Tracey snorted. “Oh I made plans for them. The estate gets split between Dean and a contract on their life. It is who I predicted was it not.”

Larry gave her a resigned half smile. “You were indeed correct. My condolences.”

Tracey shrugged and angrily wiped a rebellious tear away. “I want you to draw up a betrothal agreement between Dean and myself. You might also want to go ahead and start the same up for Harley as well. We’re going to need it this year as a bit of cover anyway.”

At Larry’s confused look, Dean jumped in. “We’re sorta all connected to keep Harley from going boom.”

“Ah,” Larry touched a stone and muttered in his native language before handing the small stack to Tracey. “This is the final paperwork to level the Davis Cottage and estimates on what you plan to do with the property. Negotiations may turn out to be easier with your neighbors than previously thought as in addition to Mister Thomas here, you only have to negotiate with Ms. Granger. It seems that the Princes were in a bit of a buying mood just before the pater familiaris passed on.”

Tracey nodded absently. “Mom was offered a ridiculous amount of money for our land before I started Hogwarts. The only reason she didn’t take it was that the bastard would have bled the money back out of us in rent and we really didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

Larry nodded sympathetically before turning to Dean. “Now Mr. Thomas, we have a bit of good news for you. Apparently, the German ministry is willing to allow you to consolidate the Maler line into the Myron line. They’ve recently had a bit of a population boom due to legal and ministerial reforms along with the fall of the Berlin Wall and to be honest the Maler line didn’t have much in the way of monetary wealth.”

“What did it contain?” Dean asked in curiosity.

“Mostly fifty seven casks of the family’s finest brews and distillations. They were famous not only for their beers but also schnapps and digestives. There are also generations of notebooks detailing their history and experimentations over the last seven centuries.”

Dean blinked. “That’s bloody well more valuable than a little bit of gold.”

Larry grinned. “I take it that you will want the vault’s non-monetary contents delivered to the Commune.”

Dean nodded. “I also want you to put out that we have three rooms open at the moment and may have more openings next summer. I’d also like to keep the age within the range of Tracey and myself.”

Larry nodded and made some notes. “Any other restrictions?”

Dean was thoughtful for a moment before nodding. “Serious artists only. We already have one guest who is probably just goofing off. I want to be taken somewhat seriously in the art community.”

Larry sighed and gave Dean a look. “Mr. Thomas, you currently are the art community. There hasn’t been a serious push in the European Wizarding art world since before the Grindelwald War. I believe the first things to come out of your commune will be heralded as a rebirth of culture in Wizarding Europe.”

Dean blinked and looked at Larry as if he was crazy. “What about Celestina Warbeck or the Wyrd Sisters?”

“Ministry manufactured claptrap to pacify the masses,” Larry responded. “Their lyrics are written by committee and put to music that has been proven to keep the populace in a generally non-violent and obedient state. Somewhat akin to that Muggle band Oasis.”

Dean winced. “Alright, but I still want there to be serious artists and not just a bunch of teens that are there for a summer of irresponsibility.”

“Not to say it won’t be a summer of irresponsibility,” Tracey added with a grin. “It just won’t be only that.”

Larry chuckled. “I’ll be sure to note that in the adverts.”

***

Meanwhile in Bob’s office, Harley was staring nervously at the parchment, quietly willing it to not be as convoluted and fucked up as it was in her home dimension. As it flashed its completion and Bob picked it up, Harley felt her world just get get kicked in the tits as the Goblin laughed. “Fecking Hell. Let me guess, Mum was adopted.”

Bob wiped his eye and nodded grinning. “Apparently she was descended from a matrilineal line that was thought to have been wiped out in the seventeenth century.” He looked at her. “I take it that you already knew this.”

Harley nodded in resignation. “Yeah. I was hoping that it wouldn’t matter here or at least someone else would be responsible for it. What’s the damage?”

“Nothing too horrible,” Bob replied. “Just a vault with some statuary of a rather amatory and bawdy nature. I imagine that it will fit in nicely with Mr. Thomas’ residence.”

Harley snorted then noticed Hermione’s curious gaze. “My mother was descended from a cult of witches that revered Artemis and Athena, only not in the manner that most people did. They saw the goddesses as incestuous lovers. The group came up with the potion that allows you to get pregnant without a man, but also ruffled quite a few feathers. There was a purge of them after one was accused of being a dark witch.”

Hermione blinked and winced. “I take it that it was just a pretext to persecute the cult.”

“Oh no, she was definitely a dark witch,” Harley corrected. “She took the philosophy of girl love sexy fun time and turned it into a philosophy of all men must die and their stupid brides forced to convert to lesbianism. She made Bellatrix look like a poster child for mental health. Most of the cult committed ritual suicide afterwards to atone for her transgressions. I’m likely descended from a baby that was put up for adoption just before the group decided to off themselves.”

Bob coughed and picked up the conversation. “Aside from that, you are indeed Mr. Potter’s sibling in the sense that you both came from a union between a James Charlus Potter and a Lily Evans Potter and therefore are a part of the House of Potter. I take it that you do not wish to challenge for the headship of that House.”

Harley looked at him flatly. “Does a Goblin like deaning their boss?”

Bob chuckled. “I thought not. That only leaves what you wish to do with the vault full of statuary.”

“Just have it shipped to the Myron Commune. I’ll get with Dean and Tracey about what they want to do with it.” She glanced over at Hermione. “That is unless you want a statue of two goddesses going at it.”

Hermione shook her head and chuckled. “Not right now, but perhaps in the future. It depends on how tasteful they are.”

***

Dear Lord Potter,

I must admit that I was initially surprised when you had me move in with my sister and her husband. I know that my words had unsettled Nymphadora, but did not realize that it was to such a level. Still, I thought of this initially as a punishment until after supper and I was escorted into my new room. I apologize for thinking ill of you and find that you were only making sure I was properly taken care of. I must admit that the thought of being paddled by my sister’s husband had not initially inspired the thoughts that the later sensations created in me, but now I find the thought of being disciplined in such a way to be absolutely liberating.

I thank you for your foresight and wisdom of handing me over to such an attentive master and making sure that I will receive the proper punishment a naughty little girl like me deserves. I especially love the fact that they are conscientious enough to place me in a confinement coat before tucking me in. You are such a wise and understanding lord and I can’t thank you enough.

Your loyal and submissive servant,

Narcissa 

***

Dear Narcissa,

Uh, yeah. I’m glad you’re happy.

Sincerely,

Harry

***

Dear Harry,

She’s fucking with you. Honestly, do you think I’d really share my husband with Narcissa?

Andromeda

***

Makoto casually watched as Rei and Minako worked the two assassins over for information. It was a strange dance of veritaserum, legilimency and good old fashioned physical coercion that would normally loosen even the tightest of lips and this time was no exception. She felt her communication mirror buzz and left the room to answer it. “Hello?”

“Mako-chan, where are you guys? You were only supposed to be gone a day. You haven’t hooked up with some leather boy or joined a cult have you?”

Makoto sighed at the mock accusatory tone in the empress’ voice. “It turned into something a bit more problematic Usagi-chan. It turns out the Youma are innocent this time and the stupid gaijin was only to deliver a message to me. That being said, I must request some time to straighten the matter at hand out. Rei-chan and Mina-chan will likely want to stay as well.”

The empress’ tone shifted to one of concern. “Makoto, what’s wrong?”

Makoto smiled. “Nothing wrong, your highness. The letter was from Hermione. She wanted to meet me and now we’re getting to know each other.”

“Uh huh, and the sounds of Mina-chan and Rei-chan roughing up a couple guys?”

Makoto cursed herself for not fully closing the door as she exited before responding. “Er, well...The men were sent to kill her. It seems she’s the adopted sister of the current Lord Potter.”

“SHE’S FRIENDS WITH THE BOY-WHO-LIVED!” 

Makoto winced at the Empress’ shout and chuckled. “Adopted sibling, but essentially yes. I assure you that everything is well in hand and you don’t need to do anything-”

“I’m sending Lord Tenchi and a security squad to your location! I expect the three of you to behave accordingly and not give them too much fuss. They will ensure yours and your daughters security until she returns to school and I want no arguments on this Makoto! You are not to leave that building until they arrive! Now, your daughter can visit at your location the next couple days but you are to be secured until such time as everything is determined to be safe! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go arrange your security detail. Usagi out.”

“-rash,” Makoto finished with a sigh as the mirror went dead. She walked back into the room to find the other two imperial guards giving her an annoyed expression. “Oh like it wasn’t going to come out eventually. Could you imagine her overreaction if we told her after the fact? We’d be confined to the royal city for months.”

Rei rolled her eyes as she relocated her subject’s arm. “It’s really annoying how she treats us all like glass. I mean honestly, we’re trained to protect her.”

Mina sighed as she administered the antidote to the man and pulled out her wand. “We’re the only friends she has that don’t have another agenda Rei. Now, how much should I take from them?”

Makoto glared at the two men before growling. “They tried to hurt my daughter. I don’t care if you leave them without the knowledge to breathe.”

***

Winky watched impatiently as the Mouse-girl walked up to the front steps. “You are late,” she snapped as the girl finally stood in front of her.

The mouse girl blushed and scratched the back of her head. “I got turned around with the directions. Where is Hermione?”

“Mistress Hermione,” Winky hissed at her, “is dealing with a private matter that you have no need of knowing. She has put your punishment in my hands for today.” Winky gave the girl a quick once over before snapping her fingers and vanishing the girl’s clothes. “Mistress Hermione has determined that you will be doing all of your punishments au natural and you should therefore consider yourself lucky that the greenhouse is off limits for today. I understand that the Tarrantangula has been rather….friendly as of late.”

The mouse girl blushed as she attempted to cover herself up. “So uh, who else is here at the moment?”

Winky merely raised an eyebrow and pointed toward the front parlor. “You do not need to worry about who is present or what they may think of you. Your only concern should be pleasing Mistress Hermione and doing your assigned task to the best of your ability. Today will be a simple task. You are to clean the front parlor top to bottom. You will do the windows and you will clean everything by the end of the day or you will be punished by me in front of Mistress Hermione. Any back talk or rebelliousness will also be punished in front of Mistress Hermione. Any questions?”

The mouse girl looked at the cobweb and dust filled parlor and gulped. “Um yeah. Just how will I be punished?”

Winky grinned and summoned a rather long paddle. “The punishment will be me bending you over my lap and spanking your arse cherry red while Mistress Hermione watches. Any further questions? No? Then I suggest you get started. You only have until sundown.”

***

Augusta finished her tea as she went over the selections for the school. They still had not found a headmaster but that issue was secondary to having the appropriate staff. Bathsheba Babbling would take over responsibility as Head of House for Gryffindor just as Aurora Sinestra had agreed to be head of Slytherin. With FIlius and Pomona agreeing to stay on as Heads of their respective houses that only left filling the actual positions. Her choice for Transfiguration was inspired if not a bit duplicitous. Still, she hoped it would bring some reconciliation as there were far too many families torn apart by the wars of the last century. If she could reunite some, so much the better. Potions was a bit problematic as there was a requirement for the person to actually be a potions master. Thankfully, she was able to “convince” Horace Slughorn to return so long as he was only teaching and did not have any other responsibilities. 

She was still lacking a History of Magic Professor as well as Defence against the Dark Arts, Magical Culture, Muggle Studies, and Care of Magical Creatures. History of Magic and Care were going to be the hardest ironically. The cursebreaker that Gringotts had sent expressed an interest in settling down and once the position was cleared would be more than willing to instruct the future. She also had her eye on Narcissa Black, formerly Malfoy, to teach the Magical Culture class. 

Unfortunately, History of Magic had become such a bore that there were no History Masters left in Britain and most of the ones in the ICW already had highly lucrative positions where they were. Likewise a creatures expert was often paid exceedingly well for their services and normally didn’t live long enough to retire regardless. She didn’t want to go back to Hagrid teaching the class. He was a gentle enough fellow, but his thoughts on what constituted appropriate creatures left much to be desired. 

A knock at her door drew Augusta’s attention away from the mess on her desk. “Enter,” she called out, more than certain that anyone actually wishing her ill would not be polite enough to simply knock. Her certainty was rewarded as FIlius walked in and took a seat before her.

As soon as the usual pleasantries were out of the way, the diminutive professor began. “I’m coming to you not as a charms professor or head of house but rather as an emissary of the Goblin Nation. It has come to our attention that a student in this school is actually a member of the magical imperial court of Japan. I do not know who they are nor do I want to know, but I can assure you that this information is currently in the Imperial court’s hands and they will likely be making entreaties in the very near future to have their people on hand. I would strongly recommend that you consider their requests as anything but as the Goblin Nation will not interfere if their empress should decide to take offense.”

Augusta groaned. “That’s all I need. If they get to put their people here, then the Ministry may try to stick their nose back in illegally.”

Filius stroked his chin thoughtfully before commenting. “Perhaps not. You are requiring all teachers and staff to swear loyalty oaths to Hogwarts, correct?”

Augusta nodded. “A tradition that Albus should have never stepped away from, though from what I can see of his actions I can see why he did. He’d have been dead within a week if he had sworn the oaths.”  
“Precisely,” Filius responded with a grin. “Agree to place their instructors but require that they swear the loyalty oaths to the school. That way you do not have to worry about what they are teaching to the students in the way of propaganda and someone else takes the burden of choosing some difficult positions off your shoulders. Say what you want about the Empire, their education system is second to none.”

Augusta hummed thoughtfully. “A rather inspired thought. Perhaps I should approach them first and ask for their suggestions on the positions that I have open.” She held her hand up in protest. “I am fully aware of their perceptions on the matter of addressing a situation first. In this instance I believe it to be better to use subtlety. At this moment they are unaware that I know of a student within this school that may have a connection to the empire. It is not even something that I will address with them. I will simply be asking if they have anyone who may be interested in teaching at our school.”

Filius gave a very Goblin worthy grin. “This would allow them to place protection at the school without addressing the student by name or that they are even here. This leaves them in a perceived position of strength without all the maneuvering they would otherwise force us to go through. A truly inspired idea.”

“I have been known to have them on occasion,” Augusta replied with a grin. “Now if I could only find someone to take over this bloody spot before September. I have a Wizengamot to reform.”

***

Tonks stepped through the floo to find Hermione and three other teens waiting on her. Recognizing the one male as the young man that Hestia had pointed out a couple days earlier, she gave a chuckle and glanced around. “So Harry has me go from babysitting my aunt to babysitting a group of kids. How exactly is this supposed to be relaxing?”

The young man gave an annoyed glare. “First, this is my house and I’m only letting you stay here as a favor to Harry. You even think of bossing anyone around and I’ll bounce your arse out of here faster than you can say Nargle. The Wards answer to me and no one else. Second, if you don’t show up for meals then you’re on your own. You’ll be expected to chip in on the groceries and floo powder, but I won’t expect anything else from you so long as you mind your own business. Third, what few rules we have will be posted in the main room in a couple days. Those rules will be decided by the three permanent residents of this house, which most assuredly does not include you. You are a guest and will be expected to behave as one. Finally, this is not only a refuge but is also going to be an artist’s retreat. Respect others and they will respect you. You will not be expected to take part, but neither will you be forbidden. Any questions?”

Tonks blinked then looked at Hermione. “Is he serious?”

Hermione snorted. “Deadly. You need to understand this Tonks. Harry called in a big favor for this. I know you’re loyal to Harry and Harry and Luna know you’re loyal, but Dean is another animal entirely. He’s taken these girls under his protection and he’s every bit as fierce in protecting his family as Harry and Neville are. Tracey is his betrothed and Harley here was sent to him from another dimension. In a fight right now, my money would be on him, partly because I would side with him as would these two ladies.”

 

“Cor,” Tonks muttered. “I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just that I’m looking to straighten my head out and Harry sends me here.”

“To straighten your head out,” the raven haired girl replied with a smirk. “Merlin, you remind me of my Tonks so much. Always wanting things to be straightforward and simple then bitching when they are. You’re room is the first on on the right on the first floor.” She turned and headed towards the back of the house. “I’m going to go start supper. How does chicken piccata sound?”

“I’ll help,” the honey-haired girl replied as she followed. “Dean, be a dear and help Ms. Tonks to her room.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at the retreating ladies before turning back to Tonks. “Shall we?”

Tonks smirked. “I thought you were the one in charge here.”

“They sleep with me and therefore get far more liberties than you currently enjoy,” Dean shot back as he started ascending the stairs. “Now, do you want to be keyed into your room or would you rather go back to your previous accommodations?”

Hermione stifled a giggle and made for the front door. “On that note, I believe I’ll head back to my manor. Try to not kill each other and I’m just a floo call away. The address is Humble Hovel.”

Dean waved her off with a snicker as he continued up the stairs. Tonks followed up at a leisurely pace and noticed something off about the decor. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something unsettling and uncomfortable about her new surroundings.

“It’s a Lily Potter house,” Dean called out from what she presumed was the door to her room. At her confused expression, he elaborated. “More specifically the infamous Potter Pleasure Palace. Apparently Harry wasn’t aware that his mother was the wizarding world’s David Nightingale Hicks when he signed the house over to me. I’ll go ahead and tell you that the one rule that we’ve agreed on is that most of the house is clothing optional so I don’t want to hear any outraged squawks about what the girls choose to wear or not wear. You might also want to expect neighbors in the next few days since the Goblins are advertising for me. Beyond that, welcome to the Myron Commune.”

“Thanks,” Tonks replied with a bemused sigh. “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I really didn’t mean anything by the comment. It’s just I’ve been a little stressed over the last few months.”

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. “I think that’s everyone that had a bleeding clue about what was going on. I know Harry trusts you, but the fact that you were part of the flaming peacocks puts me a bit on edge. The long and the short of it is that a man of dubious fashion sense and even more questionable morals was more than willing to let a bunch of school kids fight his battles and you lot just followed behind like good little zombies.” He held up his hand to stave off protests. “I know you had your reasons, but you lot still didn’t question him and one of my best friends almost died because of his manipulations.” He turned to make his way back down stairs. “Dinner should be ready in about half an hour.”

***

 

MYRON COMMUNE FOR ARTISTIC ENDEAVORS

Now accepting applications

Have you felt your creativity stifled by those around you not understanding your vision? Then the Myron Commune may be for you. Unfortunately there are only three spots open this season with the prospect of more in the Summer 97 season. Hopefuls of ages sixteen to twenty-six years of age should apply at Gringotts with a portfolio of your work and an application fee of forty Galleons. If accepted you will be required to pay an additional forty Galleons a month during your summer residency for a total of eighty Galleons in order to cover food, lodging and incidentals. Currently there are no plans for an Autumn or Spring residency but all applications will be reviewed again for the 97 Summer session without further application fees. 

***

A young witch looked at the advertisement in her copy of Magical Arts monthly with a bit of glee. She hurried down the hall to her father’s study and knocked hurriedly. As her father opened the door, she quickly asked in her native French, “Papa, how much would it be worth to you for me to be away for the rest of the Summer?” At his owlish blinking, she hurriedly added. “Just think, Aunt Marguerite could come back and continue to play sexy bondage maid without you or mother worrying about me noticing.”

“How do you-”

“You forgot to put up the video recorder and your toys again,” she cut him off. “Anyway, there is an art camp that I could go to, but I am seventy Galleons short of the entry fee. This way I could improve on my painting and you and mother could have all the fun time you wish.”

“Seventy Galleons you say…” Her father hemmed and hawed indecisively.

“If you let me have the money I promise never to tell Fleur just what happened to her favorite ponytail holder.”

Her father gaped for a second before going over to his desk and pulling out a small sack of coins. “Here’s a hundred. Be sure to also get your books for school.”

“Thank you Papa,” the girl replied with a hug before retreating back to her room. In truth Gabrielle Delacour had more than enough to cover the expense but like her sister always told her, why waste all your money when you can squeeze some out of others? 

After stashing the money in her trunk, she went down to her mother’s study. “Hello Mama,” she replied as her mother opened the door, “How much would it be worth to you for me to be away for the rest of the summer?”

***

The youngest daughter of the Masaki royal family approached her aunt with some trepidation. This was the first time she had ever asked for anything and of course it was undoubtedly going to be a big deal. This would be her first trip alone, not to mention to another country. That it was also a country that had just suffered a severe cultural upheaval over the last couple weeks would be equally unsettling, regardless of the possible benefit it would bring to the empire.

She stood there quietly as she watched her aunt give her cousin Tenchi orders to travel there post haste and then bark further orders concerning a long lost relative of the royal family. She heard several of the rival families mutter about favoritism before being ordered to either address her directly on the issue or face charges of sedition. This was no longer the awkward princess that Sasami had read about growing up who people thought they could manipulate. This was the absolute ruler that had brokered a peace with all her enemies from a position of strength and broke the political pull of her rivals. She was terrifying and awe inspiring to behold when in her royal persona and the voices of dissension quickly fled before her gaze. 

It was only after the empress had dismissed the rest of the courtiers and sycophants that she turned to Sasami. As if by magic, the empress turned from the fearsome monarch to the doting aunt. Her gentle smile at once put Sasami at ease and made her even more nervous. “Do my ears deceive me?” Empress Usagi asked with a grin. “Little Sasami actually wants something for herself and not her family?”

“Hai,” Sasami replied nervously with a bow and held up the magazine with the advertisement. “I understand if I can not be allowed to go, but you said for me to ask if I found something that I wanted.”

Her aunt took the magazine and looked it over thoughtfully. She glanced at her husband before turning back to Sasami. “It does not look like they have enough space for your customary guard to accompany you.”

Sasami sighed and tried to hide her disappointment. “I understand your highness.”

“Therefore you will simply have to travel under an assumed name and always be in the company of your familiar,” the Empress continued. 

Sasami blinked and looked at her in astonishment. “I can go?”

Her aunt nodded and grinned. “Your cousin and his detachment will be nearby as well as three of my Royal guard. Also, I doubt anyone will want to face off against your Kitsune. Now go get your portfolio together and I will have our courier deliver it to the Youma with the required fee.”

“Thank you!” Sasami all but squealed and ran out of the room to collect her portfolio.

***

Dy Bishop cut off her torch and looked at her latest creation. The statuesque steel and copper woman before her was a glory to behold in rivets and electroplating. All that was left was the few final pieces and her ode to Joan Jett would be complete. It was then no surprise that the sight of a velvet sack covering her head came as a bit of a shock to the young sculptor.

“What the Hell!” screamed the girl just before being put in a full body bind.

“I’m sorry sweetie,” she heard her mother’s voice call out, “but this is for your own good. You spend too much time in this dingy workshop. Your sister and I found a nice place in Britain where you can get some air and meet some people.”

Dy wanted to growl at the thought of Tesla of all people conspiring to drag her away from her work. The thought occurred to her that her sister may move her magnum opus for one of her technomancy projects, but was quickly quashed. Tes was many things in Dy’s opinion, but she never messed with her art. Actually, it was the one thing that Tesla actually encouraged, unlike Dy’s taste in music, television, men or women. Still, the indignity of being crated up and sent away like some aftermarket freight...actually it was exactly what Dy had done to her last year, so fair is fair. But Britain? The land of odd accents and even odder people? Just what was she supposed to do with herself there?  
“It’s only for two months sweetie,” she heard her mother call out. “Are you sure she’ll be okay in there?”

“Relax mom,” she heard her sister answer. “I tied the portkey directly to the box. She’ll be fine.”

Portkey? She was going to be taking an international portkey trip in a crate! She took back any charitable thought she had of her sister. The woman was an unmitigated bitch. She was about to be knocked around a box while spinning between continents. And for what? She put food and heating charms on her crate when Tes was mailed to Hawaii! And she’d been griping about needing a vacation anyway!

“Well if you’re sure sweetie,” she heard her mother say before walking off. Damn it, why was mother so naive when it came to magic? Oh, right, she’s a Muggle…

Dy could hear Tesla chuckle as she attached what had to be the accursed Portkey to the box’s top. “I told you that I would get even, Dyson Iona Bishop. Have a fun trip, and don’t worry. I made sure to add all the heating charms you’ll need. Activate!”

***


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is owned by Fujimi Shobo. Sailor Moon is owned by Kodansha. Harry Potter and friends were created by J. K. Rowling and are co owned by her, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters and am pretty much using them without permission. I intend no attack on the copyrights of these properties and no monies are being made. Please no sue.

Chapter 6

Pansy Parkinson sat at an Fortescue's watching the people wander by as she more played with than ate the sundae in front of her. Everyone seemed so carefree and happy to her, as if nothing could possibly go wrong in the world around them. Even those she knew whose leanings leant them to being opposed to what had recently happened seemed to be somewhat relieved at the way their world was going. 

Pansy wished she could feel that way. She had almost had her future ripped away from her one way or another. As it was, she had arranged for the foetus, the child she had created, to be implanted into another person. The healers assured her that it was a complete success and that she would be able to have children again one day, but a part of her felt off ever since the procedure had been done. It was as if something was missing. 

Then not two hours after she came out of the procedure, she was informed that her mother had been arrested. At first she thought it was for assaulting Severus Snape, but later found out that she had been stealing from Pansy’s trust vault. That was when Pansy found out that she would be effectively broke after leaving Hogwarts. 

The family that had taken the foetus offered to also take Pansy in, but she declined. Something about it just seemed wrong. Seeing her child being raised by other people, no matter how better suited to the task than herself seemed wrong to her somehow. If she was there, shouldn’t she be the one raising the child? Did she even want to be a part of the child’s life? Could she? It was all so confusing.

She soon felt a presence next to her and looked up to see Greg Goyle looking at her nervously. He looked so different here, without Vincent and Draco to complete the trio. He looked something like his own man than part of a pair of bookends. He seemed somewhat nervous and if Pansy was being honest with herself as lost as she felt. 

She motioned for him to join her and went back to playing with her sundae. They sat there in silence for a minute before she finally attempted conversation. “So, how is your family?”

Greg gave her a small smile. “Mum is doing well in spite of Dad being in Azkaban. Other than that, we’re good. Yourself?”

Pansy sighed. “Father is dead. Mother and Uncle are in Azkaban and I’m unable to touch the fortune because I’m not a male. After Hogwarts, I’ll be broke even though there’s about fifty thousand Galleons waiting for the next male Parkinson.”

Greg looked thoughtful. “There’s no one related to you who could claim it?”

Pansy snorted. “Uncle was very thorough in cleaning up the Parkinson outliers. Unless a Muggleborn comes along or I can find someone to marry me and take the Parkinson name, I’m right royally buggered.”

“Alright.”

Pansy looked at him. “Alright what?”

Greg shrugged and smiled. “Alright, I’ll marry you and take your name. It’s a damn sight better than Goyle.”

Pansy sighed and smiled. “Greg, you’re a sweet guy and all, but I can’t do that to you.”

“Who says you’re doing anything to me?” Greg asked. “I mean, I’m not the sharpest guy and I know there are better blokes out there than me, but if it’ll help you out then sure.”

Pansy shook her head. “I’m not a nice girl, Greg. I’ve done things you wouldn’t want from a wife. I’ve had sex. A lot of sex with several different partners.” 

Greg chuckled. “As one of those partners, I’m fully aware of that. In fact, it only makes me more eager to do this.”

“I’m a scarlet woman,” Pansy snapped. “I’ve thought nothing of using my body to get what I want and now I’m paying the price. Just let it go, Greg.”

Greg took her hand and kissed it. “If you are a scarlet woman then I am a cad and a villain for gleefully accepting your attentions as well as any other woman that threw their attentions my way. You used what you had to get through what can honestly be said was a hellish situation. We’ve both had to parrot shite we don’t believe to keep our housemates happy and hope that we could have some semblance of a normal life when it was all said and done. Merlin Pansy, you were going to be forced to marry Draco Malfoy. It’s no wonder you wanted to know what it felt like to be with someone who might be interested in women.”

Pansy looked at him as she fought to hold back tears. “I was pregnant and I gave up the foetus,” she blurted out. “I gave up a child because I’m too much of a selfish bitch to take responsibility for my actions.”

Greg blinked but otherwise didn’t pull away from her. “Who was the father?”

“I don’t know,” she murmured.

“And you want to punish yourself for giving the child a chance.”

“I deserve to be punished,” Pansy growled. “I should be taking responsibility for my actions.”

“Pansy, you’re fifteen years old.” Greg pulled her into his lap and held her. “I’m not the brightest bloke, but I’m smart enough to know that a kid needs a mum and a dad. Just look at how screwed up we are with our crap upbringing. The kid is better off and maybe one day you can have a sit down with them and explain it all too them.”

Pansy unconsciously curled into Greg.“If it’s the right thing, then why does it feel so painful?” 

“Maybe there is something to what Dumbledore kept saying after all,” Greg murmured. “Maybe doing what’s right is painful upfront to make you appreciate the choice in the long run. Kinda explains Potter doesn’t it. Poor bugger keeps getting shat on by doing the right thing. There has to be a payoff down the road.”

Pansy snorted in spite of herself. “I imagine the book sales and the fame are enough of a payoff.”

“The profits from the books pay for the long term care ward at Saint Mungo’s,” Greg corrected her. “Potter doesn’t see a knut of it. As for the fame, when was the last time you ever saw him use it, not just for himself but at all? According to Weasley and Lovegood, he bloody well hates it.”

Pansy looked up at him. “You talk to Weasley and Lovegood?”

Greg shrugged. “They help me with my Charms work. Professor Flitwick put us together.”

“Hunh, who’d have thought Weasley was good for anything other than shoveling food in his mouth.”

“Not him, the youngest one, Ginevra. She’s scary good at Charms and has come up with a couple on her own. Lovegood helps me with Defense. Ron is a right royal waste of space.”

Pansy snorted. “I would wager you didn’t need his sister to tell you that.”

Greg shook his head. “He’s proved that by himself what all with trying to kill Granger.”

Pansy blinked and looked back at Greg. “Mind running that by me again. It just sounded like you said that Weasley tried to kill Granger.”

“He did,” Greg confirmed. “It’s been in all the papers. Right behind Dumbledore being given the short shaft and some Auror getting the drop on the Dark Lord. Tosser still refuses to tell who gave him the potions to poison her. Been thrown out of the Weasley family and everything.”

Pansy shook her head and looked down at her sunday which was now more of a soup like consistency. “Have I really been that self absorbed that I didn’t realize what was going on around me?”

“In your defense, it sounds like you’ve had a lot on your plate.”

Pansy sighed but nodded in agreement. She felt unaccustomed to be so casual with a schoolmate, even if it was Greg. They sat like that in silence for several minutes before Pansy finally said, “So you are willing to marry me.”

“If you’ll have me,” Greg confirmed. 

Pansy smiled and looked up at him. “You’re not too disagreeable.”

***

Jungfuhk was going through the various and sundry applications with no small amount of exasperation. Even with his two assistants, this project was going to take a month, not the two days he had been given. Add to that the fact that one had already mailed their child to the address in question, another was his assistant’s manipulative and annoying little sister and a third was seventh in line to the Imperial magical throne...Jungfuhk leaned back and paused in amused realization. 

“Stop the sorting,” he growled to the other two. “We can do the rest at our leisure as our initial three are already taken care of. Miss Delacour, you can go ahead and tell your sister that she has been accepted and feel free to imply that you did her a favor. Lympdehk, inform her imperial Majesty that our client would be delighted to host Miss Masaki and her companion.”

Fleur grimaced. “Are you sure sir? Gabrielle can be a bit...mercenary.”

Jungfuhk chuckled. “You’ve met Miss Davis and Miss Potter. Just how long do you see her attitude lasting with them?”

Fleur’s face took on an almost sadistic grin. “She’ll be trussed up and gagged within a week. Serves her right for stealing my things.”

Lympdehk sighed. “I only hope the liberal nature of the house does not impinge on Miss Masaki’s possibly conservative upbringing.”

“It will do her good to broaden her horizons,” Jungfuhk replied with a shrug. “Besides, her sister married a lesbian pirate. Just how conservative can they really be?”

***

*thump* *thump* *thump*

The international portkey was over the mid-Atlantic when the body-bind released and Dy was being tossed about the inside of the crate like a rag doll.

“I’m…” *thump* “going…” *thump* “to…” *thump* “Kill…” *thump* “that…” *thump* “Bitch!”

***

Sasami was mortified by how her “aunts” were packing her suitcases. “It is an artist commune,” she protested as the ladies were going through her wardrobe, “Not a brothel. I’m going there to work on my drawing and painting.”

“Ooh,” Haruka replied with a grin. “Maybe we should pack some edible body paint.”

“It would never make it through customs my love,” Michiru replied with a slight smirk. “Hence why I am focusing on lingerie instead of sex toys. I’ll have Mako-chan and the others take her on an excursion when she gets there. That is if she doesn’t decide to give Lord Byron her maiden head the first night.”

Sasami rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “I am not going there to snag a boyfriend. I am going there to draw. In peace. Away from the lot of you.”

Haruka stopped and grinned. “Didn’t Ayeka say something similar when she went to that symposium in Australia?”

Michiru feigned a thoughtful stance before replying. “I believe you are correct. What happened there again? Oh right, she skipped off and got married to Ryoko.”

“In her defense there was a substantial amount of alcohol involved.”

“I am not my sister!” Sasami all but screamed.

This seemed to signal the entrance of the one person that Sasami wanted to see before she left. “I believe I told the two of you not to tease little Sasami as you helped her pack,” the science minister commented as she entered the room. “Do I need to inform the empress that you’re in need of a training mission in Antarctica again?”

Michiru and Haruka both paled. “We apologize Washu-sama,” Michiru quickly answered.

“Yeah,” Haruka confirmed. “We didn’t mean anything by it.”

Washu gave the two of them a gimlet glare before casually dismissing them. “I’ll help Sasami finish packing.” Once the two had disappeared, Washu sat down on Sasami’s bed and started folding the young girl’s clothes. “All teasing aside, they do have a point.” she quietly commented to her young charge. “You do not have to worry about what others will say.”

“Washu,” Sasami whined, “not you too.”

Washu merely smiled as she finished packing for the girl who was like a daughter to her. “You have spent so much time being the good girl to make up for your sister’s erratic behavior and your brother and his family forswearing the throne. Perhaps it is time for Sasami to be herself and not the perfect image of what people have decided the Masaki family should be.” She held up a hand to forestall Sasami’s protests. “I am not saying that you do what your sister has done. What was right for her and my daughter are not necessarily right for you. I will say this. Lord Tenchi and Lady Makoto will be in your area with an accompanying guard. I will also be there for a couple weeks at the invitation of the current headmistress of their magical academy. You will be as safe as you are in the empire without the many eyes that are upon you here. Quit trying to be the perfect child for once and learn about the young woman you are becoming. That is all I ask.”

***

Gabrielle Delacour was actually somewhat surprised that she had been one of the first ones chosen. She was certain that other more promising artist would have come in ahead of her, even with her sister being one of the deciders. Honestly especially since her sister would be one of the deciders. The thought that Fleur had decided to do her a favor sent all sorts of warning bells off in her head, but that came from owing her sister something more than anything else. She nestled back in her seat and was about to attempt to get some sleep when a young man sat down next to her. 

“Why is a beautiful young lady such as yourself traveling on their own?” the man asked in a passable attempt at being friendly.

Gabrielle rolled her eyes in annoyance and glared at him. “Alright, here is how it’s going to go,” she replied in an American tone without a hint of accent. “Five pounds for a hand job. Ten for a blow job. Anything more starts at a hundred and you’re buying me dinner. Try to force yourself on me and I’ll force feed you your testicles before shoving you off the train. Understood?”

The man blinked several times before quickly standing up and leaving in a hurry. Gabrielle sat back her seat and was about to drift off again when someone politely coughed and said, “I couldn’t help overhearing. How about if the person would rather pleasure you?”

Gabrielle opened her eyes to find a dark haired woman standing in the aisle, wearing a white blouse, plaid knee length skirt, ankle boots and socks, and not anything else. Gabrielle could also feel the arousal from a distance. The young Veela licked her lips and thought for a second. “Fifty and I’ll make sure it’s mutual. You’ll have to cast the privacy charms though.”

The woman chuckled and held out her hand. “I have my own compartment. That is unless you want to have sex out in amongst the common rabble.”

Gabrielle shrugged to cover her nervousness. “I’m a bit of an exhibitioninst.”

The woman pulled out her wand and cast several privacy charms before sitting down next to the young Veela. “Prove it.”

***

Tonks walked into the kitchen the next morning to find Dean and Tracey cooking while Harley was lounged casually in a dining chair wearing only a Muggle sports jersey and still managing not to cover anything. At Tonks’ startled expression, the younger witch looked up and grinned. “You’re overdressed.”

“I see that,” Tonks rasped before dragging her attention back to the other two. “So uh, what’s for brekkies?”

Dean fought back a snicker. “First, Harley behave. Tonks can wear whatever she likes. Second, I’m teaching Tracey how to cook eggs. How many do you want? I’m sorry but I can’t guarantee how done they are at the moment.”

Tonks shook her head in bewilderment. “Uh, two and as long as the yolks don’t run it’s fine.” At Dean’s confused look she elaborated. “Enough time on the Auror Corps and runny anything reminds you of an unpleasant experience. I can’t even take my steaks rare anymore.”

“Ah.” He pulled two eggs out and had Tracey take them over. “Harley sit up. Trust me when I say that hot egg on your crotch is not a fun time.”

“That’s a story I’d like to hear,” Harley quipped as she sat upright.

Tracey snickered. “I remember that one. Malfoy was trying to hit Potter with an entire plate of eggs and over shot him.”

“Yeah,” Dean said with a scowl. “Not the best way to end up in the hospital wing. Seamus got it worse though. I just had to be friendly with a bag of ice for a bit. He had first degree burns on his arm and chest.”

Harley whistled. “Wow, sounds like I won the lottery on the Malfoys at least. She was mostly only an annoyance maybe twice in my life and even then her mother would make her behave.”

“Draco was an idiot,” Tracey replied flatly as she finished plating the eggs. “He fancied himself as Merlin’s gift to the world which would only be correct if Merlin decided to shop at the Tesco bargain bin. In reality, he was only passable in potions and was using his father’s influence to get by in everything else. If he hadn’t had money, his godfather and his father’s name, the little toe rag would have been a rent boy for the upper years. That’s the best case scenario. More likely he would have been found beaten and raped to death sometime during first year.” Tracey shivered. “At least that was what Flint threatened us with first year if we stepped out of line. Of course Snape stepped in and protected us. Not sure what he wanted in return.”

“He didn’t have a choice,” Harley responded. “If he was anything like my Snape, he had to take the Hogwarts loyalty oath when he started teaching. Apparently the founders took their students safety seriously. If he hadn’t stepped in, the fucker would have died.”

“Huh.” Dean looked thoughtful as he placed a plate in front of Harley and sat down with one himself. “So what would have happened if he couldn’t teach this year?”

“Nothing unfortunately,” Harley answered as she began eating. “When he turned himself over to the authorities, he abdicated his teaching position. Oaths are tricky things with more loopholes than you might realize. Best thing that could have happened to him already did. Best to forget about the unlamented Severus Tobias Snape.”

Tracey sat another plate in front of Tonks as she joined them at the table. “So Tonks, how do you feel about helping out with our artistic endeavors?”

Tonks cut into her eggs and after a bite smiled. “Depends on what you want me to do. You are all technically a bit young for me.”

Tracey snorted. “We were wondering if you were up for a bit of modeling and possibly going to pick up some supplies for us.”

Tonks ate in thoughtful silence while watching the teens about her. “First,” she began after a few moments contemplation, “I’m not going to pick up anything illegal for you. That means no drugs or booze.”

Dean waved her off dismissively. “I’ve got enough beer and liquor in this place to throw a three day Bacchanal and none of us are into the drug scene.”

Tonks blinked in surprise before continuing. “Right. Anyway, I also won’t be going for any sex toys or other fetish things you may want.”

“Got enough of them in the attic,” Tracey offered. “You did know this was the Potter Pleasure Palace, right?”

Tonks shook her head. “Fine. Final thing, I don’t care what people get up to here amongst each other so long as you don’t drag me into it.”

“Sex only happens among consenting individuals,” Dean stated flatly. “If you say no, then that’s it. Anybody tries to force the issue and they’re out on their ear. It’s already up on the board in the front room.” At Tonks surprised look, Dean elaborated. “Our other guests are on their way here and one of them is Fleur Delacour’s little sister. She has a reputation of being a bit of a pushy brat. As for your age hang up, do you really want to bitch about age difference when you were chasing around a werewolf that is old enough to be your father?”

“You’re all under age,” Tonks protested. “It would just feel weird doing anything sexual with you lot.”

Harley tilted her head in thought. “What if we just want you to pose nude so we can draw you? Would you be up for that?”

Tonks paused. “I don’t know…”

“People do it all the time in colleges and art schools in the Muggle world,” Dean argued. “I could show you drawings that I’ve done of men and women if you’d like.”

“Really?” 

Dean nodded. “Some schools even require the students to take turns modeling nude. Now, I never did it in an official school, but my mum did agree to let one of her artist friends sketch me over the Christmas hols. It was a bit embarrassing, but there’s nothing sexual about it.”

“I’d think it’d be illegal with you being a juvenile and all,” Tonks countered. 

Dean smirked. “If I was worried about them publishing it, then yeah it’s not strictly on the up and up. Two points to counter that though. First, my manhood was covered by a sheet and the artist wasn’t interested in that anyway. Second, for them to get in trouble either Mum or I would have to tell on them which would get Mum in trouble. Third, those laws are only in the Muggle world. The Wizarding world still sees the age of consent as fifteen, which everyone here is above. Also, please note that Tracey and I are emancipated and Harley is bonded to me and under wizarding law under my purview as to what I consider allowable.” 

He stood and collected any empty plates before heading towards the sink. “If you want to model, I’ll offer you three Galleons for an hour’s sitting. Four if you’re going to be nude. If you find yourself in an amorous mood towards one of our guests and they return it, fine. Otherwise, respect everyone else’s forms of expression and don’t be a prude. In turn, I promise to keep these reprobates from doing too much to tweak your sensibilities.”

Tracey pouted. “Does that mean no public sex?”

Dean gave her a mock glare. “I believe I already said no to that.”

Tracey grinned in response. “Yeah, but I was going to try to persuade you with a blow job after breakfast.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes in exasperation before looking at Tonks. “Welcome to the nut house.”

“Guaranteed to be at least a little cracked all the time,” Harley quipped before fixing Tonks with a look. “By the way, Sirius used his head of house status in my world to palm off The Talk to one of his female relatives when it came to me. Care to guess who it was?”

Tonks winced. “I’m guessing that the other me was rather descriptive.”

“I know more about Charlie Weasley and Natalia Broadchurch’s anatomies than I ever wanted to. Although, the models you used to show a proper blow job and cunnilingus were quite impressive.”

Tonk’s hair flashed a bright cherry red. “Please tell me that you mean actual models and not people.”

Harley snorted. “You weren’t that drunk, Nym. Though we did end up cuddling up together that night for bed and I received a rather friendly wakeup call in the morning.”

The red was now descending to cover her face. “Oh Merlin, how friendly.”

Harley licked her lips. “Friendly enough to call you my first but not so friendly as to lose my maidenhead.”

The room was silent room was silent for several minutes before Tracey spoke. “Huh, all I got was keep your nose clean and your legs crossed.”

***

“And will someone be picking up Miss Massaki when she disembarks?” the woman at the ticket counter asked in a condescending voice.

Sasami winced as she saw the twitch in Haruka’s eye. “Nah,” the imperial commander snarked. “We thought we’d just pin a twenty pound note on her shirt and hope for the best.”

“Madam,” the woman at the counter responded. “I recommend that you take this more seriously.”

Haruka growled at that. “And I recommend that you start looking for a new job when we’re through here, because I’m going to make sure your pretentious ass is fired by the end of the day. Now, you are going to print that ticket and I am going to see my charge onto the appropriate plane which she will be disembarking in Britain where she will be met by another guardian who will take her to her destination for the remainder of the summer. Any further delays will only ensure that your future employment prospects descend closer to working as a fun time girl for the Yakuza.”

“Well, I never-”

“Then maybe you should!” Haruka snapped. “It could only do wonders for your personality.”

Sasami refrained from groaning as a manager stepped over and tried to smooth out the situation, which only seemed to escalate when Haruka flashed her identification to speed things along. She was about in tears when she and her “pet cat” (Kami, was she going to have to apologize to Ryo-ohki for that one) were seated in First Class with a vehement apology from the manager for the inconvenience. She had never been so embarrassed in her life. 

Fortunately, the stewardess was polite and friendly and the notice me not on the cage ensured no one realized that her “pet” was a magical creature or that strictly speaking it wasn’t supposed to be traveling inside the plane. When the stewardess stopped by again to ensure she was feeling better, Sasami even managed to get something to eat and drink before sleeping through most of the flight. 

Perhaps things were looking up.

***

Gabrielle found herself flustered and more that a little out of sorts as the woman led her off the train in London. She had never experienced anything like what the woman had put her through in the last two hours and was more than certain that the woman had been less than impressed with Gabrielle’s own performance in that time. That the woman proceeded to dump the little veela in front of her somewhat amused sister and declare in rather matter of fact terms that they were “even” only put the final stamp on the day’s activities as being arranged by Fleur to prove a point.

Gabrielle remained silent through the terminal all the way to Fleur’s waiting automobile. It was only after they were on the road towards their destination that Gabrielle managed to work up the courage to break the silence. “I suppose there is a point to what happened to me back there.”

Fleur didn’t take her eyes off the road as she responded. “You have spent most of your life being able to get whatever you want and being as bold as you wished. Being the daughter of the most powerful crime lord in Magical Europe has left you feeling a bit entitled, Gabrielle. I will tell you right now that the people you will be spending time with here are connected enough to squish Papa like a bug. Further, they will have no time for your silly games and will call you on your mischief as soon as you start it. I was able to use my connections so that you can bring a bit of respectability to our name. Do not make me regret it.”

“I really did just want to work on my painting,” Gabrielle protested. “You make it sound like I was trying to expand the family business into Britain.”

“I am simply trying to keep you from doing something foolish,” Fleur pointed out. “Deidre wouldn’t have even approached you if you had simply kept your head down and not drawn attention to yourself. As it stands, she felt the need to teach you a lesson. A lesson I hope was well learned.”

Gabrielle flushed, though she wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or arousal. Yes, she had learned quite a few things in that train ride. Things she was not about to forget. Especially that thing the woman did with her tongue.

***

Hermione awoke blissfully intertwined with Roxie and a very amused Winky looking at both of them expectantly. That Winky was wearing the Lingerie Maid outfit again and was gazing up and down the two of them appreciatively was not lost on the witch either.

“Something I can help you with, Winky?” she asked, being unwilling to extricate herself from her lover’s grasp.

Winky snorted. “Mouse girl didn’t finish her room until just before you and Miss Roxie had returned from your date. I put her up in the south wing until you wished to witness her punishment.”

Hermione rolled her eyes at Winky’s eagerness to paddle the young fae. “You could have just sent her home. She’s probably more afraid of being punished by her mother than me. As for her job, how did she do?”

Winky shrugged dismissively. “I could have done better, but I’d say it was at least Dobby level good.”

“And how far past her deadline was she?”

“About half an hour.”

“And you want to paddle her for taking an extra half an hour to do a job most humans would find impressive.”

Winky’s nose twitched a little before she replied. “I may want to do more than paddle her, but I want the little mouse girl to be an obedient little mouse girl when I finally give her a bit of cheese.”

Hermione was momentarily struck dumb by the rather bold and direct statement. Thankfully, Roxie took that moment to give a comment. “Wow, your elf is just as perverted as you, Hermione.”

Hermione snorted. “And they say good help is hard to find.” She glanced back to Winky and giggled. “Get her up and start her on the next task. Also let her know that she will be receiving her punishment at lunch time before Makoto or the others show up. You are both to stay out of sight and more importantly you are to be properly dressed when they are here. As for molesting Victoria, if she becomes uncomfortable or asks you to stop, that’s the end of it. Understand?”

Winky rolled her eyes. “I’m your elf. Asking if I understand something is like asking if water is wet. I’m not going to push her, Mistress. I’ll save that side of my personality for getting into your bed.”

“Wow, she’s also got your snark.” Roxie chuckled as she snuggled in closer to Hermione. “Careful love, she gets anymore like you and I’ll have her cover your classes so I can ravish you during the day.”

Hermione bit back a moan of pleasure before addressing Winky again. “Just go take care of Victoria and leave me and Roxie to our waking up.”

“Is Mistress sure she doesn’t want me to assist in her morning rituals?” Winky asked with a grin.

“We have yet to reach the level of depravity where I sleep with the staff,” Hermione deadpanned. “Get back to me in a couple months. I’m sure my hormones and depraved mind will have worn down my willpower by then.”

***

Dolores Umbridge was in quite a strop about how things had proceeded over the last few weeks. First, she had been manhandled by filthy animals after being tricked by that mudblood into going into the woods. Next she found out that Potter had been telling the truth after all and Fudge was ousted almost instantly by an unusually competent Director Bones. The greatest insult came when the Death Eaters (who she had been secretly looking to contact in terms of an alliance against her hated enemies) had been scooped up in a single lightning raid with some super Auror managing to capture You-Know-Who himself.

It was a miracle she had been able to keep her job what with all the shake ups going on in the ministry at the moment. A miracle that might not last too much longer by the look of the Auror that was reviewing her performance over the last year. Still, she shouldn’t have too much to fear. Kingsley Shacklebolt was on the Minister’s personal detail after all.

“Dolores Umbridge,” the man finally said as he closed the case file, “We are here to determine if you are to be simply fired for incompetence or if you are to be handed over to the Wizengamot for prosecution. Even though there is quite a bit in the records that could easily have you in Azkaban over your less than illustrious twenty years in the Ministry, I have been requested to focus precisely on the last year in particular.”

Dolores blinked at the overly formal and stiff tone the Auror had taken as well as the information she had just been given. “I apologize if this sounds impolite, but I was under the impression that there was still a chance for me to retain my position at the Ministry.”

“You were mistaken,” came the Auror’s bland reply. “My main purpose here is to determine if you were operating under orders from former Minister Fudge or if you had taken the initiative when torturing forty-seven students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, several multiple times and with clear physical evidence of such actions. Further, there are eyewitness reports of you confessing to sending Dementors into a Muggle neighborhood on August Second.”

“That Mudblood bitch is lying,” Dolores snarled, interrupting the Auror.

“The witnesses being one Pansy Parkinson, age fifteen, one Gregory Goyle, age fifteen, and one Hermione Prince, age 16.”

“Prince!” Dolores screeched in shock.

“Yes,” Shacklebolt returned calmly. “It appears that Ms. Prince was placed with a foster family in order to protect her while she was at school. As she is not only a daughter of the Prince line but also related to a member of the Japanese Imperial retinue, there was concern that she may be made a target of less than scrupulous individuals. Through fortuitous happenstance, she has also been adopted into the House of Potter, further cementing herself into our society, hopefully with even greater things to come.” His bland expression turned somewhat more sinister. “Now should we continue or would you rather we skip the formalities and hand you over to the Wizengamot now?”

***

*thump* “Ow!” *thump* “Ow!” *thump* “Ow!”

***

Makoto watched in dismay as the large contingent of Imperial guardsmen came filing through the international Floo hookup in the Embassy. The number of guards looked to be in the range of a full guard regiment and she had yet to see Tenchi. Which meant she had yet to tell him the details in regards to the bombshell she had dropped on him earlier about having a daughter by another man. Such as that said daughter was in her mid teens. Or that the man that fathered said child had apparently suffered a mental break not long after learning of her daughter’s existence.

Nuns fucking a corpse, this was a mess. She only hoped Tenchi-kun could forgive her for introducing this mess into his life. She could strangle Serenity for overreacting if it wasn’t such a part of the Empress’ nature. 

Finally, the captain of the guard stepped through and smiled at Makoto. “So, I hear that you have a bit of a mess on your hands.”

“You could say that,” Makoto hedged. “Lord Tenchi, I need to speak to you in private about the situation. It is a bit...delicate.”

“A second first,” Tenchi responded before turning to Mina and Rei. “The two of you are to head to Heathrow Airport to collect Sasami and escort her to the Myron Commune. I am told that the information packet she received from the Youma at Gringotts has the directions you will need. You are by Her Imperial Majesty’s command to be otherwise as unobtrusive as possible and to make as small a show of her presence as can be managed on this short notice. As this is the first thing that Sasami has asked for herself ever, I will be put out if you should mess this request up. I trust I can rely on the two of you not to make as much of a scene as Haruka already has.”

Both women saluted and quickly made their way out of the house. 

Tenchi then turned to the other guardsmen in the area. “You are to find as many houses for sale in the area of Wye, Kent, and purchase them for quick move in. Minimum of three houses and you are authorized to go fifty percent above asking price if it will expedite matters.”

As the other guard left, Tenchi turned back to Makoto. “I’m all yours, beloved.”

“My daughter is sixteen and friends with the boy who lived,” Makoto blurted out.

Tenchi gave her a lopsided smile. “Which is why I was called to protect you by my irrationally over-protective cousin. It came up in the briefing.” 

“She also drove her birth father insane.”

Tenchi blinked. “I hope she had cause.”

Makoto bit her lip and looked away. “Severus apparently bullied her and her friends while they were students in his class.”

“So Severus Snape was her birth father.” Makoto was astonished that there was no recrimination in her beloved’s voice. “I take it that you both bonded over your intellect and love of potions.”

Makoto looked down still unable to face the man she loved. “I was lonely and the mission I was on left me with few options.”

Tenchi lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. “She is sixteen which means this was just after you had graduated from the academy. It also means that you were likely on your first assignment and considering what I know about how the royal guard were constantly being set up to fail by Usagi’s rivals it is no wonder you latched on to someone that was not only able to stimulate that mind I know you have, but also someone who was likely just as isolated as yourself.” He leaned in and gave her a soft peck on the lips. “At least you didn’t almost sleep with your now ex-fiancee’s mother.”

It was Makoto’s turn to blink. “I really don’t know how to respond to that.”

Tenchi blushed and rubbed his head. “I will state for the record that at the time I was not aware of my place in the magical world. I was also not aware that I was betrothed to Noike or that her mother was one of the many descendents of Nicholas and Perenelle Flamel. All I knew was that there was a very attractive and young looking woman that was following me around the campus and seemed rather interested in my movements.” He coughed nervously. “So I asked her to join me for drinks. Which led to her slapping me for some perceived insult. Which in turn led the campus security arresting her for assaulting a student and then Father and Grandfather explaining to me just who she was and more importantly who I was. Which led to several other things that led me to join the imperial military and renouncing my claim to the imperial throne.”

Makoto gaped for a few seconds before responding. “Wait, you’re not in line for the throne?”

Tenchi shook his head. “Haven’t been for years. Kinda why I was so confused when you turned down my proposal. I thought you knew. It was quite the scandal that I wouldn’t just marry the woman that was chosen for me and had never met. Honestly, I still don’t know what she looks like.” He pulled Makoto into a hug and held her. “Mako-chan, I want to marry you. I want you in my life. Past, present and future. I accept you with all my heart and accept whatever comes my way with that. If you can say the same about me, please do me the greatest honor in becoming my wife.”

Makoto sighed and snuggled into his embrace. “I want you to meet Hermione first. She is going to be a part of my life and I want to know how the two of you react to each other.”

Tenchi hid his smile in Makoto’s hair. “I would love to meet your daughter.”

“It’s not Hermione that I’m worried about.”

“Oh?”

“It’s her martially trained lover, Rochelle.”

***

Albus was trying his very best not to pout at the latest indignity pressed upon him by his brother. After the misunderstanding with the paint bomb sent by Harry, Aberforth had decided that it was no longer safe for Albus to be under the roof of the Hog’s Head and had moved him to an out building. That this outbuild had previously been used by Aberforth’s goats had not been mentioned before moving him out there. Nor had the fact that Aberforth hadn’t bothered to clean after the goats had vacated. 

As Albus sat down on the rickety cot that was now his bed and contemplated how things had devolved to this, he failed to notice the snowy white owl swoop in, drop a letter off and crap on his head until after the owl had done its business and was well out of reach of the aged former professor. He scowled at the retreating bird briefly before looking at the missive it had delivered.

It hadn’t occurred to Albus that the owl was somehow familiar or that the owl bearing this missive bore an uncanny resemblance to another snowy owl that belonged to a former student of his until he opened the letter and found in surprisingly neat handwriting a formal declaration from the houses of Black and Potter. Further troubling was that the declaration was one of a litigious nature and held several terms that Albus very desperately did not want associated with his person: those terms being unlawful detainment, false arrest, jury tampering, fraudulent representation and attempted line theft. 

He was somewhat relieved that he wouldn’t be required to answer the charges until the 31st of July and if Harry failed to show that the charges would be dismissed. However, he was still required to present himself to the DMLE in the next three days so he could be fitted with a monitoring device to make sure he attended the trial. 

If there was only some way for Albus to talk to Harry and convince him to stop this foolishness for the greater good, the former headmaster was certain that it wouldn’t take much to straighten things out to the way they should be. Why he was certain he could even have Severus back to teaching by the start of school with just the right words to certain people.

It was then that he received a second owl, this one an Eagle owl bearing a Gringotts seal around its neck. The missive it delivered was far more ominous as it informed Albus of his spy’s total mental collapse and that all of his worldly possessions had been given to a long lost daughter that had disputed the will and proven that the headmaster had no right to her father’s belongings due to her father neither paying for her upkeep nor having her removed from the family. She further stated that Albus was known to illegally use his influence to obtain things that he had no business interfering with. 

According to the missive, the Goblins fully sided with Ms. Prince and also fined Albus the cost of their investigations. Sometimes it just didn’t pay to be leader of the Light. Especially when no one respected your position of importance.

***

Sasami nervously got off the plane and made her way towards customs, furtively looking for her escorts and hoping that it was no one that would be overly fawning. After a rather quick once over from the customs official who didn’t even acknowledge her “pet” (boy was she going have to do something nice for Ryo-ohki when they got to where they were staying), Sasami was on her way to the luggage pick up and almost collapsed in relief when she saw Rei and Minako waiting for her. 

Mina was holding a sign that read “Pretty Sammi” and was wearing a barely decent chauffeur’s uniform while Rei was dressed in a normal sweater and slacks. It also appeared that Rei had already collected her bags.

Sasami walked up and smiled at her honorary cousins. “You’ve been gone a week. Did you really believe that you wouldn’t recognize me?”

Mina gave her a cool look. “I was told to pick up a celebrity. If Channing Tatum had stepped through here, you and Rei would be on your own.”

Rei gave Mina a look. “And just what would you tell Usagi?”

“It’s Channing Tatum,” Mina deadpanned.

Sasami giggled at the two of them. “Can we get going? I really need to apologize to Ryo-ohki.”

“If I’m called kitty one more time I will not be held responsible for my actions,” a rather affronted feminine voice declared from the cage.

Rei shook her head and turned toward the exit. “Let’s get our little Sammi to her home for the summer.”

The group was quiet until they were inside the car. Sasami pulled out her directions and was surprised when Mina simply pulled out into traffic. Rei looked at her in the rearview mirror. “We didn’t tell Usagi, but the artist commune is neighbors with Makoto’s daughter. We already know where you are going and you are more than safe.” she giggled before continuing. “The owner is rather cute too, if completely taken.”

Sasami groaned and flopped back in her seat. “Why is everyone interested in me getting a boy? What if I don’t like boys? Or girls for that matter? What if I’m just some asexual being that just wants to draw in peace and am being harrassed by my well meaning but irritating family?”

“Ooh,” Ryo-Ohki called from her carrier, “Can I bite them?”

Sasami glanced at the carrier. “Let’s start with pranking and work up from there.”

“Even better!”

Mina rolled her eyes as she turned on the appropriate highway. “Relax Sasami. I’ve already told Rei to lay off. Just enjoy your drawing and try to have fun. I’ll make sure that the mean crazy cousins leave you alone. Well, Rei anyway. I’m pretty sure Tenchi and Hermione are going to keep Makoto distracted.”

“Thank you.”

***

Victoria squirmed as she was being paddled by the Elf while Hermione watched. It wasn’t that the paddling was painful per se. More just embarrassing really, which she could normally handle if not for the feeling of absolute lust that she was receiving from both Hermione and the Elf. Not only was it more than she was expecting, it made her tingle in the being fed to a Balrog areas of her body. So more than a little concerning.

Especially since the feel of the Elf’s hand on her posterior was sending a rather pleasant thrill up her spine. She was also disconcerted that she was feeling herself being bound to Hermione by the day and more to the point she was wanting it. Just the thought of being a servant of a powerful witch like Hermione was making her think all sorts of naughty being fed to a Balrog thoughts.

Oh God, she was in so much trouble when her mother found out. 

“She’s getting sticky Mistress,” the Elf suddenly declared. “I think she likes being punished.”

Victoria froze as she heard Hermione stand and walk over to her. A whimper escaped her lips as she felt the witch’s hand slide under her chin and gently raise her face to face with Hermione, the witch’s smile and half lidded eyes doing nothing to put Victoria at ease.

“Is that true, Victoria?” Hermione’s purring voice sent another thrill up the changeling’s spine. “Do you enjoy being punished like this? I want you to answer honestly and I promise that nothing bad will happen to you for your answer.”

“M-maybe mistress,” Victoria hesitantly answered. Fuck, did she just call her mistress? “I-I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

Hermione brushed Victoria’s hair gently with her hand before trailing it down the changeling’s neck and shoulder. “Then perhaps we should revise our arrangement. That is if you are amenable to a change in terms. Are you amenable, Victoria? Do you want a more long term arrangement?”

The moan and shudder escaped Victoria’s control before she even truly realized they were there. A part of her was mortified while another part didn’t care and desperately wanted something that she couldn’t begin to understand.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Hermione replied in a husky tone. “Winky, help Victoria clean up while I consult the library on the suitable wording of a contract between myself and Victoria. Also get her something presentable to wear to Gringotts as I want everything to be witnessed by an impartial third party. I want her to understand exactly what she’s agreeing to without any confusion.”

“Should I make sure that her shower is sufficiently cold, mistress?” Victoria could hear the absolute glee in the Elf’s voice and wondered what she had done to upset her.

“No,” Hermione responded. “Quite the opposite really. I think our dear Victoria has earned a bit of a release for her little show. Wouldn’t you say, Winky?”

“Yes Mistress,” the Elf responded happily as she led Victoria out of the room.

“Oh and Winky,” Hermione called after them, stopping the Elf in her tracks.

“Yes mistress?”

“Just because Victoria has earned herself a climax doesn’t mean that you have.”

A look of frustration crossed the Elf’s face as she began to lead Victoria to the bath again. “Yes Mistress,” she glumly replied.

***

Dean waited in front of his house to greet his guests. Inside, Harley and Tracey both waited to show the guests to their rooms and discuss the rules and clarify as needed . Tonks had decided to spend the afternoon at a local she had discovered from the phone registry and pointedly said not to wait up. Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to reassure himself that everything would be fine for what seemed like the hundredth time. His mother was likely still laughing about his plans. Hopefully he could make it work.

The first car arrived being driven by Fleur Delacour who quickly introduced her sister, told said sister to behave, then promptly got back in her car and drove away. Dean remembered the younger Delacour briefly from two years previous and held out his hand. “Greetings and Welcome to the Myron Artist commune and retreat. Step inside and Harley or Tracey will show you to your room, explain the house rules and the meal schedule.”

The girl gave a rather bland insincere smile and asked, “Will I be required to help with the cooking?”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Can you cook?”

“I can but I would gladly pay extra to avoid doing so.”

“I think we can make an arrangement,” Dean deadpanned before escorting her inside then returning to his station.

A few moments later, another car pulled up and a young lady of asian descent stepped out carrying a pet carrier and a suitcase. After Dean repeated the same greeting, the young woman bowed and asked if having her guardian stay with her would be an inconvenience.

“Any unusual food requirements?” Dean asked.

“I require the blood of a thousand virgins!” the being in the carrier bellowed much to the girl’s look of scandal.

Dean snorted. “You’re in Britain. You’ll likely starve if that’s the case.”

“How about a case of beer and a stack of dirty magazines?”

“We have a stash of beer here and a couple of the other guests insist on walking around nude,” Dean countered. 

“Meh, close enough.”

“Ryo-Ohki!” Sasami shouted at the carrier, quite scandalized.

“What?” the carrier returned. “He knows I was kidding.”

Dean chuckled as he led Sasami in. “Harley will show you to your room.” 

He had no sooner stepped back outside when he saw a large crate crash just outside the wards. He made it up to it just as the top slammed open, revealing a busty young woman with auburn hair and wearing what looked to be welder’s gloves and a smock. “Where am I?” she asked, more than a little dazed.

“Wye on Kent,” Dean answered her. “The Myron Commune to be specific. Are you okay?”

The woman shook her head and tried to stand before responding. “Yeah. International portkeys are the worst. Name is Dyson Bishop. My sister Tes sent me here to relax, I think.”

Dean blinked and chuckled. “They said you were coming by unconventional means. I’m Dean, your host.”

Dyson shook Dean’s hand before asking. “You wouldn’t happen to have an arc welder here would you?”

“Sorry. House is gas and magic only.”

Dyson shrugged. “Gives me a chance to try other mediums. When do we eat?” 

Dean laughed and helped her into the house. “How about we get you to your room first?”

***  
Augusta chuckled at the rather enthusiastic response she received from her choice for Transfiguration when there was a knock at the door. “Enter,” she called out while putting the missive away and was pleasantly surprised to see Curse Breaker Weasley a full hour before she expected him. “Mr. Weasley, I take it you were successful in finding the curse.”

Bill nodded as he sat down. “Though the appropriate response should be curses, as in no less than twenty-two separate curses. There may have been others that eroded with time, but those were the ones I found still active. It’s honestly a surprise people lasted as long as they did.”

Augusta shook her head and sighed. “Were any of the signatures salvageable?”

“Yeah,” Bill replied with a grimace. “Unfortunately, the only ones you could actually go after are Umbridge and Dumbledore. Riddle, Malfoy and the Lestranges are all dead and Snape is effectively a vegetable from what I hear. The others managed to either obscure their presence or were placed before such curses were considered illegal meaning that they should have been caught long before now. Most interesting was the one Chamberlain Binns placed to keep those with Goblin blood from entering the defense classroom in the fifth century.”

Augusta raised an eyebrow. “Any relation To Cuthbert Binns?”

Bill snorted. “Direct ancestor as a matter of fact. Honestly though, it’s a miracle that anyone managed to last more than a couple months even before Albus became headmaster.”

“Not really,” Augusta commented. “I seem to recall a tradition of holding Defense in different rooms around the castle before Albus insisted that it always be held in the one room upon his assumption of these duties. I take it that you removed all the curses.”

Bill nodded and handed over a receipt. “I also cleaned any jinxes, dangerous charms and illicit potions from the surrounding corridors for no additional charge. I might recommend a similar cleansing of the house dormitories as well as most of the castle just to be on the safe side. My brothers and the Marauders did go here after all.”

“And how much would that cost us?”

“Lord Potter agreed in writing to cover the cost since his father and godfathers were partially responsible,” Bill assured her. “All we need is your go ahead.”

“You have it,” Augusta said with a smile. “There is one other matter I would like to discuss with you, Mr. Weasley. It involves the matter of your future.”

Bill held up a hand in a forestalling gesture. “If it is in regards to me working for Hogwarts, may I just politely decline before you finish. Firstly, my contract with Gringotts is not up until the year after next. Secondly, I doubt I would be able to engender the respect an instructor deserves from at least seven of your student body, including but not limited to Mr. Potter, Miss Grang- I mean Ms. Prince, Miss Lovegood and of course my sister. Finally, and I mean this sincerely, you simply can not afford me.”

“I assure you that Hogwarts pay is quite competitive,” Augusta said with an amused tone.

“Not for me,” Bill disagreed. “I am a junior cursebreaker at the moment. My regular, non-hazard pay is currently twice what Professor McGonagall made before you stripped away most of her titles. In two months I will be promoted to senior cursebreaker with an appropriate raise in salary. I say will and not may due to the fact that I am continually rated in the top three percent of my peers. Peers that include Goblin curse breakers with ten to twenty years experience over me. The director has offered me his first born daughter to ensure that I don’t entertain outside offers. That embarrassment aside, I am actually quite happy where I am at.”

“I see,” Augusta said in shock. “Is there anyone that you would recommend?”

Bill shrugged and shook his head. “Everyone I know is either too well compensated, too young to be taken seriously or both. I’m sorry.”

“It is quite alright Mr. Weasley,” the Longbottom Matriarch assured. “There are still other avenues to explore and perhaps once you reach retirement age we can offer you a place for you to occupy your interests in your less stressful years.”

“Perhaps,” Bill politely acknowledged as he stood. “As for now, I’ll start about cleaning up the mess left by my brothers and others while allowing you to continue your search for qualified instructors.”

Augusta waved him on and briefly wondered which of them had the more onerous task before laughing at the absurdity. She only had to find and coerce a rough dozen people to instruct at one of the most prestigious schools in the world. He had to contend with the products thought up by generations of Potters, Blacks, Weasleys and Longbottoms not to mention any mischief inclined genius Muggleborns like Lily Evans or Malcolm McGonagall. 

Honestly, she’d take bureaucracy and paperwork any day over the mad science minefield that lad was taking on. She just hoped the hazard pay Mr. Weasley would likely incur wouldn’t be too steep for the Potter coffers.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is owned by Fujimi Shobo. Sailor Moon is owned by Kodansha. Harry Potter and friends were created by J. K. Rowling and are co owned by her, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters and am pretty much using them without permission. I intend no attack on the copyrights of these properties and no monies are being made. Please no sue.
> 
> Disclaimer 2: Ksirifai and Solificati are creations of White Wolf Games and are used without their permission. Again No moneys are being made and honestly They are based on similar cults and secret societies that sprang up throughout the renaissance and medieval world. Please no sue.

Chapter 7

“Thank you for agreeing to meet on such short notice Ms. Hakubi,” Augusta began as she poured the tea for both of them.

“Please Madam Longbottom,” her guest demurred, “call me Washu. I’m hardly some stuffed shirt that is obsessed with the empty platitudes of court. As I’m sure you’ve come to realize, properly running a magical academy means having no time for politics.”

Augusta smiled and nodded. “I would wonder how Albus managed to do it if I hadn’t come face to face with mountains of mismanagement done at his hands. I will agree on the condition that you call me Augusta.”

Washu smiled and took a sip of her tea. “You do realize that this is hardly the first time we have met. Of course you may have trouble remembering. You were quite young.”

Augusta blinked and realized that the woman did seem somewhat familiar but couldn’t place it. “Perhaps you could refresh my memory.”

Washu snickered. “You accompanied your father on a diplomatic mission to Australia and were left in my office while he and the Australian Minister hammered out an arrangement on supplies for the resistance. You were quite fond of my little Ryoko and very studious as to how I took care of her.”

Augusta blinked in surprise. “That can’t be. I was seven when that happened.”

“I am aware. And now my daughter is a pirate married to a woman that is twenty years her junior.” Washu gave a slightly unladylike snort. “It’s been quite the scandal at court. But that is not why you called me.”

Augusta blinked several times before trying to get her bearings. “Oh. Yes. You see I am having a bit of a problem with staffing. It seems that I have had to let several staff members go due to being unqualified or underqualified for their positions and was hoping to reach out to you for recommendations.”

Washu put her cup down and regarded Augusta for a moment before smiling. “Augusta, I am no imperial courtier nor am I a member of her imperial majesty’s military yet I am respected by both. Do you know why that is?” When August made no move to reply, Washu continued. “It is because I do not waste time with nonsense niceties or subterfuge. If I say I’m going to do something, I’ll damn well do it. I hate to say it is a trait Ryoko got from me. So you are not calling me because you need advice on who to approach. You want to know who we are going to place to protect our citizen.”

Augusta blinked. “I’m surprised you are so open with it.”

Washu shrugged before picking up her tea again and taking another sip. “Your Charms professor is the son of the current director of Gringotts, giving you a back channel to the Youma. I imagine that Bluttwick used it when a recent misunderstanding occurred. That the child was rediscovered makes her a target with certain circles in the empire while her association with certain parties here makes her a target to other elements on this side of the globe. As her birth mother is a close friend of the empress, we of course want to ensure she is well protected until she chooses what she wishes to do. As of now, she will hold dual citizenship in both the imperium and Britain.”

“I noticed that you continually say she,” Augusta commented. “You also discuss this as if the young woman is already a high profile individual in our nation. Do I want to know what her name is?”

Washu smiled. “Since she is good friends with your grandson, I would most likely recommend it.”

Augusta groaned. “Miss Granger.”

“I take it that she has a bit of a history.”

Augusta gave her guest a jaundiced look. “I need qualified instructors in Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies, Arithmancy, Potions, Care of Magical Creatures and Defense. I will require they take loyalty oaths to the school charter as is required in the charter but will not impede any extra curricular activities so long as anything involving the student body does not violate their oaths and is brought to the standing Headmaster or Mistress first.”

Washu nodded. “Agreed on the condition that you stay on as Headmistress.” Washu held her hand up to forestall any protests. “Augusta, I know you want to clean up the corruption in the Ministry but be reasonable. Your grandson and his friends will be coming into their own in two years. That would give you two years to clear the way for him. An impossible task in the most ideal conditions. Some battles must be left to the young. You can do the most good here in Hogwarts. Your children have already ended a war before it could be properly started. Spend the next two years giving them the tools that they’ll need to fight on a different battlefield.”

Augusta sipped at her tea. “You sound like Amelia Bones.”

Washu smirked. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

***

Lycanthropy cure declared a success by witnessing Dragon handlers. No trace of lycanthropy in subject after being exposed to dragon fire. Further permits for trials being requested from ICW. Fenrir Greyback to be given appropriate burial after passing through dragon’s system.

Parker Olsen reporting

***

Hermione quietly watched Roxie as the woman ate her usual breakfast of grapefruit and toast. For the first time since their routine began, Hermione decided to break the silence. “Are you planning on telling me what happened to you at some point?”

Roxie looked up in resignation. “What gave me away?”

Hermione sighed and buttered her own toast. “Where to begin? The fact that you are an amazing lover yet have your hymen still intact and by all physical evidence are a virgin. The fact that you move like some predatory cat. That every room you walk into is cased before you take two steps. Oh wait, how about that you took down two armed assassins with almost no effort.”

Roxie paused before responding. “It was only one. Rei took down the other.” Seeing the hurt look in Hermione’s eyes, Roxie wilted. “Alright, I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you since we got back together. There just never seemed to be a good time. I’m the reason that Dad lost his ambassador position. Well not me so much as what happened to me. I was attacked during a Defense against the Dark Arts class. A class rival stuck a dagger from his family’s vault in my book bag and when I touched it, I found myself in a battle for my life.”

Hermione gasped in shock. “What happened?”

“I won,” Roxie replied bitterly. “Which meant that I bested one of Sultan Sulieman’s best Janissaries in psychic combat and in turn gained all of his knowledge and memories.” She rubbed the sides of her head in frustration. “For the first few weeks after it happened, I couldn’t speak anything but Archaic Turkish and a smattering of Albanian. It took a mind healer two weeks to where I was able to function in modern society. When I saw the kid that slipped me the dagger, I broke both his arms and shattered his pelvis in a fit of rage. The boy’s family paid out a quiet settlement and Dad was requested to return to Britain and to quote ‘take that abomination with you.’ Never mind that one of their citizens had created the abomination in the first place.”

“I’m sorry,” Hermione whispered. “I didn’t know. La Sombra has a reputation but-”

“It wasn’t the school,” Roxie snapped. “It was a fecking pureblood elitist. Death Eaters, Knights of Walpurgis, Solificati, Ksirafai, they’re all the same crap with different faces. And they’re all after the same thing. They want to control everything so they can be the debauched idiots and make the rest of us suffer to their whims.” Roxie stood and began pacing. “It was the same in Besmir’s time as it is today, only kings and queens are replaced with politicians and dark lords.”

Hermione quickly met and stopped Roxie’s pacing with a hug and mostly chaste kiss. “There is a difference now. There are those of us that are trying to change the world for the better. Harry and Neville and me. Luna and Katie and Dean. You and the Empress and -” She found herself cut off by Roxie’s lips on her own and found herself melting momentarily. As they parted, Hermione gave her lover a mock glare. “Don’t think I lost my train of thought just because you are an amazing kisser.”

Roxie chuckled and pulled Hermione further in. “I know better than that, my beloved.” she paused again, breathing in Hermione before continuing. “I meant to tell you a hundred times but I was terrified of how you would take it. I can’t lose you, Hermione.”

“You won’t,” Hermione responded before kissing Roxie’s chin. “My knight in androgynous armour.”

Roxie sighed and nuzzled into Hermione’s hair. “I’m not teaching you how to fight.”

“Alright. How about you just teach me how to bring you to a screaming climax.”

“Deal.”

***

Pansy woke in a strange bed and quickly remembered the rather hasty previous couple weeks. The marriage to Greg, claiming all the Parkinson assets and moving into her uncle’s old house. The impromptu honeymoon of lovemaking, relinquishing all dark artifacts to the DMLE, more lovemaking, selling off properties to some rather eager buyers, more lovemaking, Greg inheriting everything from the Crabbes due to being their closest living male relative. Oh and more lovemaking. Thank God that Healer Sinclair wrote her that prescription for the birth control potion. One thing she knew was that she was nowhere near ready for a child. Especially after giving one up.

Pansy looked down at Greg’s sleeping face and smiled. He was so peaceful every time she woke up before him. It was so weird for her to see someone that was completely unafraid of being attacked. How did he survive as long as he had in Slytherin? A shift to her left told her in an instant as he was instantly awake, wand in hand.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly.

Pansy smiled and shook her head. “I was just getting up for the day. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was,” Greg said with a smile and pointed with his wand. “Motion alarm spell. Helps when you share a room with friends like Vince and Draco.”

Pansy raised an eyebrow. “You were worried Draco and Vince were going to hurt you?”

Greg shook his head. “Little known fact about Draco...or I guess not if you know his father. He was gay and thought people were there to do his bidding.”

Pansy turned a little green. “He never…”

Greg snorted. “No, though not for lack of trying. He knew he didn’t have a chance if I was awake. Of course it never occurred to him to just take no as an answer.”

“And Vince?”

“Oh he wanted to kill me,” Greg cheerfully confirmed. “Something about the fact that I had a stronger claim on the Crabbe fortune than he did.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Vince was blood adopted due to Lord Crabbe being infertile.”

Pansy blinked. “Then who was his birth father?”

“Even money was the Dark Lord,” Greg said with a wave. “Of course it could have been just about anyone.”

Pansy shook her head and climbed out of bed. “I’m going to go start some breakfast. Any reques-eek!” Her escape from the bed was quickly reversed by her now somewhat amorous new husband. She quickly ended any protests as he began kissing down her side. “You know,” she said with a small gasp, “Breakfast can wait.”

***

Sasami tried to ignore the antics of her bonded guardian while sketching the statues outside the house, but the fact that the Kitsune was in her humanoid form and was wearing nothing but a loose kimono that was barely tied shut was more than a bit scandalous. “Would you please go put some clothes on,” she finally snapped at Ryo-Ohki. “You’re embarrassing me.”

Ryo-Ohki looked up from where she was lounging. “You never complain when Ryoko is laying around like this.”

“I’m not bonded to Ryoko!” Sasami shouted. “Why have you suddenly become as brazen as your sister!’

Ryo-ohki shrugged and stretched. “I’m entering puberty. Just like you did a couple years ago. Remember how weirded out I was when you started noticing boys and girls as more than just playmates? Consider this payback.”

Sasami looked around in a panic. “You swore not to say anything about that!”

“Relax Sasa-ko,” Ryo-Ohki said with a shrug. “No one that matters can hear us out here.” To emphasize the point she tapped her nose. “I can tell you for certain that no one who would use that information against you is anywhere in range.” She took another sniff. “Well, no one from the empire. Missed the blonde who you’ve been ogling for the past week. Oopsie.”

Sasami paled as she heard the slight accent of the Delacour girl respond, “I’m not about to tell anyone either, though I must say that I am flattered by the attention.” She turned to find the very distracting young woman setting up her easel and preparing her paints. “Let me know if you wish to explore that attraction,” Gabrielle continued with a smile. “We could make a day of it.”

Sasami eeped and quickly returned to her sketch desperately trying to control the blush that she feared would cover her entire body. The trio continued on in silence for several minutes before Gabrielle spoke again.

“Ryo-Ohki isn’t like any name I have ever heard before. If it is not too personal a question, how did your parents come about it?”

Ryo-Ohki chuckled. “Oh, my parents didn’t name me that. Sasa-ko couldn’t pronounce my full name when she was little so instead started calling me that. As my full name translates out to dragon spirit daughter of the fox and eternal maelstrom, I’m perfectly happy with a name that translates out to coffee shop or voyeur.”

“I see,” Gabrielle responded before lapsing back into silence. A moment later, her voice startled Sasami again. “I am a Veela so I apologize if I am making you uncomfortable, Miss Masaki. I will work to make sure that I am not releasing pheromones around you.”

Sasami looked up in surprise. “It wasn’t sexual,” she blurted out then blushed. 

Gabrielle blinked and looked confused. “It wasn’t?” 

Sasami shook her head, still quite embarrassed. “You’re so graceful and casual with your poise. It’s like watching a classical greek statue move. It… I was fascinated that someone so graceful and…” she looked over at Ryo-ohki and rattled off in Japanese for a translation.

Ryo-ohki blinked and snorted. “Wow Sasa-ko. You need to pick up poetry.” she looked over at Gabrielle. “She is comparing you to a work of art.”

This time it was Gabrielle that was blushing. “I uh see. Thank you. I find you to be beautiful as well.” The French witch then quickly went back to her painting.

***

Albus was more than a bit dismayed at his “trial” being held in courtroom ten. Even less so that the entire Wizengamot was present aside from Harry and Mr. Longbottom. That was some relief at least. Perhaps they would be out of here shortly.

Amelia brought the gavel down and declared. “We are now in session. In the matter of the Most Ancient and Noble Houses of Potter and Black versus Albus Dumbledore will the clerk please read the charges.”

A rather well kept young man that Albus honestly didn’t recognize stood. “The Most Ancient and Noble Houses of Potter and Black formally charge one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore with counts of unlawful detainment, false arrest, jury tampering, fraudulent representation, attempted line theft and three counts of conspiracy to commit murder.”

As the young man sat down Amelia turned and asked, “Is representation for Lord Potter and Black present?”

Albus was surprised to see Andromeda Tonks stand. “I am your honor.”

Amelia nodded. “Let the record show that Proxy Black and Potter is present and will represent her Houses’ interest in the matter.” After allowing Andromeda to take her place as the prosecution, Amelia turned to Albus. “How does the defense plead?”

“I must protest,” Albus shouted out. “I was told that Mr. Potter himself had to be present before you could proceed.”

Amelia pinched the bridge of her nose. “As I was the one that sent you the missive, I distinctly recall that I wrote that the primary representative of House Potter and Black must be present before the trial could proceed. As Lord Potter is still under the age of majority to sit the Wizengamot, that responsibility falls to his Proxy, Madam Andromeda Tonks of the law firm Tonks and Baggins. Now how do you plead?”

Albus scowled and considered refusing to respond before realizing that would simply allow Amelia to throw him in a holding cell for contempt of court. “Not guilty due to extenuating circumstances.”

Amelia nodded and banged her gavel. “Very well. Madam Tonks, you may proceed with your opening statement.”

***

Tonks sat on the bed, desperately trying not to move lest she disturb the three teens sketching. Merlin, how do people do this without clothes? She was sitting here wearing a chemise that covered her down to her knees and she was feeling more exposed than she would naked on the back deck. She had to admit a part of it was the intense scrutiny from the artists, mostly the Bishop girl. There was something almost obsessive in the girl’s gaze and not in a sexual way. It was as if she wanted to get every nuance and imperfection in the being that was Tonks on paper. Or papyrus as it were. 

Finally, Thomas called out “time” and they put away their sketch pads. Dean gave Tonks a smile. “Thanks for doing this for us,” he said as he handed her the galleons and shook her hand. 

“You did this nude?” Tonks asked in surprise. “How did you stand the scrutiny?”

“Uh yeah,” Dean blushed, “Sorry about that. There was some trick of the light that was giving me a problem. The fold in your Chemise kept making the front look like two pieces. It honestly would have been easier on you if we weren’t trying to get the folds right.”

“Huh?”

This time it was Harley that answered. “You unconsciously bunched the front of your chemise up when you sat down. It ended up giving me a free view of your arse and Dy and Dean had to figure out how to show all the folds in you front without making it look like you were showing your tits.”

Tonks was horrified. “That wasn’t what I was trying at all!”

“We know that,” Dean assured her. “Unfortunately when sketching you only have shadows and light to work with. That’s why we told you to sit as comfortably as possible. We’re trying to do life studies, not pin ups.”

“Well they’re not trying to do pin ups,” Harley teased. “I’m just here for the Tonks eye candy.”

“Harley,” Dean scolded.

Dy shook her head and led Tonks out of the attic studio. “Come on, I’ll get you a beer at the pub down the street.”

It was a quiet walk as the two of them made their way down the quiet road to the local and slipped into an out of the way booth. The silence continued until just after they had ordered and the waitress had departed. “Alright,” Dy opened once they were alone, “what gives? Are you interested in Dean or not.”

“He’s fifteen!” Tonks hissed back scandalized. “And how the heck are you in here ordering a beer?” 

Dy raised and eyebrow. “I’m twenty-one I’ll have you know and as for Dean’s age, what does that have to do with if you’re interested in him or not? I never asked if you were going to jump his bones. Just if you teasing him was intentional or if you needed to be made aware of it. I’m only saying something because it looks like Harley is about to beat the living hell out of you if you keep leading him on.” She took a pull off her beer once it was set in front of her. “Not that the boy notices. Hell, if it wasn’t for the two girlfriends I’d swear he was gay.”

“I’m not teasing Dean,” Tonks protested. “At least I don’t think I am. And why would Harley have a problem with it? She’ pretty much all free love in front of everyone else.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” Dy countered. “She hangs all over Tracey and Dean. She is rather blunt when talking to you about your behavior. Everyone else is casual but not pushing anyone’s buttons. She’s also gotten a lot more vocal with you for some reason.”

Tonks winced in realization. “Yeah, probably because I remind her of someone.”

“Oh? Who?”

“Me,” Tonks muttered in regret. “Look, it would take too long to explain, but I think I know what is going on and I’ll handle it. Or at least try to before calling in backup.” A moment passed before Tonks looked back at Dyson. “What about you?”

“I’m not interested in Dean,” Dy shot back.

“Are you interested in me though?” Tonks pressed. “You were rather intent back there.”

Dy chuckled and shook her head. “Nope. Sorry, you’re not my type.”

“Just what is your type?” 

Dyson smirked and drained her glass before responding. “Wiry Gingers with hours of stamina and a complete lack of propriety.”

“Huh. I’ll have to introduce you to Fred and George then.”

***

Albus groaned as the seventh ministry employee in a row delivered something else that he had done for the greater good and was completely misconstrued. No he hadn’t called for Sirius to be tried, but the circumstantial evidence was pretty damning and it wasn’t like he needed Black. Yes he had the Potter wills sealed, but there was so much going on at the time and Harry was too young to inherit anything and he honestly didn’t approve of any of the Potters choices for Harry’s guardianship. 

Yes, he had named himself as Harry’s guardian of record as someone needed to protect the Potter interests. James and Lily had done a rather poor job of it after all. Well aside from that being exactly what the wills he sealed were supposed to do that very thing. But really, their choices were really inappropriate. I mean who would really have chosen Amelia Bones to be a guardian? Well, that is to say perhaps there were one or two that may have been good choices. But they were all so busy. He was really doing them a favor.

No, he hadn’t checked on Harry, but his family wouldn’t hurt the boy. Oh, they had? Well a little discipline is good for a proper upbringing. Abuse? Surely they wouldn’t do such a thing. They had? The Goblins provided the proof? Can we really trust such dark creatures? What do you mean that they’ve been verified by Saint Mungos? Well, there must be some mistake.

The testimony from the Unspeakables was the most superficially damning, at least in Albus’ opinion. They not only described what a Horcrux was, but also explained that Albus had approached them about such things in the years following the Potters deaths. They also explained about the prophecy that Albus had heard and how he had conspired for the Potters and Longbottoms to be put in the firing line of Tom Riddle. 

He dismissed the Goblins testimony as irrelevant as he was simply trying to get money to help ease the burden a young boy would have been on the Dursleys. Never mind that the Goblins had explained that without the Potter wills being unsealed that they couldn’t let him to touch the fortune. It was all just a simple misunderstanding.

Finally, Albus was allowed to call witnesses. His first was Arabella Figg. “Now Arabella, can you tell us if you ever saw Harry being abused?”

“Of course I did, Albus. I wrote you weekly with reports of what those horrible Muggles were doing. Didn’t you ever read them?”

His second witness was Remus Lupin. “Of course he was abused you idiot! We all told you that Petunia was a monster and that was before she married that bastard Dursley! Merlin, she tried to have Lily and Severus murdered by a street gang before their fifth year!”

His fourth was Arthur Weasley. “You have a lot of nerve calling me Albus after bribing my son to spy on his friends! Thanks to you, my family is in shambles!’

His fifth was Poppy Pomphrey. “Did I witness abuse? Of course I did. Thankfully your pet Death Eater Snape was so inept at obliviation.”

His sixth was Minerva McGonagall. “You fucking bastard! You ruined my life and now you’re trying to ruin Harry’s! I hope you rot in Hell!”

After each questioning, that smug bitch Andromeda Tonks just smirked and said, “No questions.” How could things go so poorly?

***

Dear Neville,

I have come to the conclusion that since you have christened my Majorca estate so utterly thoroughly that you can keep it. Consider it a late wedding/birthday present from me to you. Have fun getting all those stains out.

Love,  
Harry

***

Dear Harry,

Would you happen to be the prick that rented all the fucking carpet cleaners on Majorca throughout the rest of the summer? Asking on Hannah’s behalf.

Neville

***

Dear Neville,

I didn’t, but I did inform my dear cousin Narcissa of your spontaneous honeymoon and she wanted to join in the celebration. What she does with her stipend is her business as far as I am concerned.  
Love,  
Harry

***

Well played Potter.

Hannah

***

Yuno Hu’s nude performance atop the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes building declared obscene, vulgar and “fucking brilliant” by spectators. Hu’s album reaches platinum sales within minutes of British release. Neighboring businesses challenging Weasley Wizarding Wheezes exclusivity contract with Yuno Hu.

Parker Olsen reporting

***

 

One of the many things that could be said about the Greengrasses: for all their professed superiority and claims to a legacy of greatness they were depressingly predictable. No matter how much in danger or under threat they may be, a certain inertia would always predict the family’s actions. A fine example being that on every July 31st, Lord Greengrass and his wife would travel to the continent to bemoan the the sad lot in their life that they were not entitled to the attention bestowed on a young orphan that was the sole survivor of a despicable terrorist attack.

Also just as predictable would be the actions of their daughters while their parents were away. Daphne Greengrass would invite a young man of passable skill but much potential prestige to come over and socialize in a somewhat scandalous manner while her sister would retreat to the attic guest room and a dreamless sleep potion to avoid the noise and “grossness” of her sister’s actions. After Daphne was done with the boy, she would obliviate him and steal his vault key before shoving his naked body through the floo sending him to some brothel of ill repute that would tarnish his good name if he ever mentioned it. The Key would be used the next day to clean out his trust vault.

They never bothered removing a person from the wards as the likelihood of anyone remembering past misdeeds was near nil and there was always a chance to fleece them again later. This last little bit was important due to the fact that there was one person that was on the list that did remember what the Greengrass family was capable of and was more than willing to get a bit of personal reparation on her own behalf.

It was after midnight when Daphne had gone to bed after sending her latest “conquest” to his reward in a Knockturn Alley brothel. Of course her room was far away from the floo so she never heard it activate. Just like she never heard the stupefy that hit her as she lay sleeping in her bed. The assailant then went about the house gathering every memento or picture that had a certain person’s image as well as anything of value, including a set of very important vault keys.

Once the larcenous part of the assailant’s mission was completed, she then moved to the two living occupants in the house. Thankfully Lord Greengrass was far too paranoid (and honestly cheap) to employ House Elves, so the assailant didn’t need to worry about some magical creature’s misplaced loyalty ruining her plans. Astoria was quietly secured and wrapped up tightly in a blanket before being gently lowered out an outside window and propped next to the compost heap, the potion in her system ensuring that the smell would not wake her.

That objective completed, the assailant returned inside and secured the elder daughter to her bed before hitting her with a number of obliviations and further stunning spells. Her final act of revenge on the woman that was brazen enough to send her own sister to her death was to pull out a large ratan sword and proceed to violently assault the sleeping Greengrass with impunity. Once she was finished, the assailant then proceeded to cast several healing charms, enough to undo the damage but leave the pain.

The assailant made her way back to the floo and used it to travel to the Leaky Cauldron where she handed the keys to a waiting Goblin and the ratan sword to the waiting woman. “Thank you Miss Hino,” Tracey said quietly as she sat down and drank a waiting tea.

“You are most welcome,” the royal guard said soothingly. “Betrayal of family is always a bitter pill to swallow.”

Tracey nodded glumly. “Even when you see it coming.”

“Especially then,” Rei comforted. “I take it you accomplished everything you wanted.”

Tracey gave a small smile. “Right down to putting Stori next to the compost pile. I healed Daphne like you suggested. Somehow it made me feel less guilty about everything.”

“You have vented your anger,” Rei explained. “Now you can heal. What were you planning to do with the money in the vaults?”

Tracey snorted. “Nothing. The Goblins on the other hand are funding the Maria Davis memorial scholarship fund, ensuring more Muggleborns are going to have a chance at a Hogwarts education for generations to come.”

Rei smiled. “I must say a fitting punishment.” Rei contemplated her own tea for several moments before she spoke again. “Why place her near the compost pile?”

“Two reasons,” Tracey responded. “First, Stori is repulsed by strong smells and nothing is stronger than rotting vegetables.”

“And the second?”

“It is just on the edge of the wards. Her being there will not only get Daphne in trouble, but it will cause Lord Greengrass to fly into a paranoid panic about who could be after his family. With any luck, Daphne’s and Stori’s holidays will be heavily monitored until they leave home, ensuring that they will be out of my hair for the foreseeable future aside from class.”

“Clever and brutal in its efficiency.”

“I may have been put into Slytherin because of a bad day, but I never said I didn’t belong there.”

***

Victoria curled up happily in bed with her fellow servant Winky as the two finished their duties for the evening. Tomorrow would be the start of a three day excursion they would be going on with Mistress Hermione and her family. Family that now included Victoria strangely enough. It seemed like another person that had tormented her mistress all those years ago, a person that Victoria was somewhat ashamed to share the same identity with. 

How strange it was that the person she once saw as a rival was now one of the most important people to her now. The other of course being Winky, the wonderful and amazing Elf that taught her the joys of sex. And creative uses for Ice cream toppings. Let’s not forget the proper use of paddles and riding crops. Merlin, she was becoming a sexual deviant. Good thing that she worked for them now, no?

The best thing in Victoria’s opinion was the silk collar that Mistress Hermione had gifted her with. It allowed her to appear completely human without all the many glamours and charms her mother insisted on using that honestly itched. She hadn’t even noticed until they were all gone. No wonder her mother was cranky all the time. The collar had other modifications as well, but those were being explored by her and Winky on a case by case situation.

Her and Winky. Victoria smiled at the thought and turned to face the Elf who was at the moment reading a book before they went to sleep. How weird was it that she had feelings for a being that her mother would treat with absolute loathing? Of course her mother was of the opinion that humans were only useful as servants and feeding sources. The mere idea of being bonded and serving them was something only weaklings done.

Victoria once thought that way. Now though. She saw a certain strength in Winky that she wasn’t sure she would ever match. A power that had Victoria awed and more than a little turned on. That same power seemed to radiate from Hermione, but in that case it simply made Victoria completely submissive to the will of her mistress. With Winky, she wanted to resist and push back a little so the Elf would get physical. She liked it when Winky asserted herself. Especially when the Elf decided to get creative with “punishments.”

As a matter of fact, the urge to be naughty was tickling in the back of Victoria’s mind. She was just about to slip under the covers and tease the desired response from Winky when the voice of Mistress Hermione coming out of a silvery blue otter patronus startled her.

“I apologize if I’m interrupting, but it appears that we have an unannounced guest at the front door. I need the both of you appropriately dressed and in the drawing room presently.”

It was only a matter of minutes before the duo were dressed and walking into the drawing room where Victoria found her mother and a noble from the Summer Court along with her Mistress and Rochelle. Before she could ask what was going on, the noble spoke.

“Now that the young lady is here, we can begin.” The noble looked annoyed to be there and Victoria’s mother looked absolutely furious. “According to Countess Alysandra, you tricked her daughter into a Goblin contract and bound her against her will. She also maintains that you have been performing illegal arcane rituals to bind her daughter to her will.”

Hermione seemed entirely unfazed by the accusations. “I take it that you have already talked to the Goblins and found both claims to be such absolute and total rubbish?” At his nod she continued. “I take it that you also considered just ignoring the bitch’s tirades until you found my missive and request for entry to the Court’s Lunasa celebration?” Another nod. “Very well, may I address the charges with you and have you place judgement instead?”

“It would depend on what these charges are,” the noble replied.

“May I first ask your name my lord?” 

The noble smiled. “You may indeed. I am Prince Gwydion of the house Dyfed, Lord protector of the Fae Realms of Albion and Hibernia.”

Hermione smiled. “Well I, Lady Hermione Prince of the British House of Prince do charge Countess Alysandra with endangering the first compact under the treaties of Salisbury and Hogsmeade. Specifically in the codicils concerning the trafficking in forbidden arts. I also charge her with no less than three violations of Fae law as pertains to the treatment of her professed daughter who is now retainer to my House and under my protection.”

Alysandra sneered. “I have done nothing of the sort. I tell you that she is in league with the Goblins. My Victoria would never enter into anything without my explicit permission. Let’s just kill her for violating the compact, claim the lands and be done with it.”

“I find your lack of knowledge regarding the compact with the Wizards and Goblins to be astonishing.” The Prince looked over at Victoria. “Come here child.”

Victoria stepped forward and felt a small wave of magic wash over her and knew that the glamour that was placed upon her was temporarily removed. She then spent the next several minutes squirming under the gaze of the Prince before feeling another wave of magic and her Glamour returning.

The Prince looked at both Hermione and Alysandra before stating, “As I assumed, there are no compulsions charms or hexes controlling Victoria’s actions. Even if there had, all that the Compact would have allowed would have been a fine and Victoria being wed to Lady Prince as the dominant partner, thus allowing her to control Lady Prince’s fortune. The compact prohibits Fae killing Wizard, Witch or Goblin and them in turn killing Fae. Now Lady Prince, present your evidence.”

Hermione looked directly at Alysandra “Did you or did you not tell Victoria that if she so much as kissed a boy that you would feed her to a Balrog?”

Alysandra blinked then winced guiltily. “That was only to scare her out of doing anything before marriage.”

“The issue remains that she was of the belief that you had access to a Balrog or could obtain such access. Access which is only possible through the use of prohibited magics as all the Balrogs were sealed from this dimension not long after signing of the first compact through a joint effort between the Summer Court and the Council of Merlin. Further, I have come to find out that forbidding the act of sex to any fae aged fifteen or older is a violation of Fae law due to the chance that they could be used in a sacrificial ritual as beings of potential power.”

“I never said she couldn’t have sex with girls, just boys until she was married.”

“You also left her ignorant of the fact that women could and do have sex with each other and perpetuated the belief that humans were quote ‘only good for nourishment and labor.’ She insured this by keeping Victoria ignorant of her rights and abilities, going so far as not presenting Victoria to Court on her fifteenth birthday. Another note to be addressed to his lordship was found when I asked the Goblins to do a heritage test on Victoria.”

“You had no right!”

“You are mistaken madam as it is required before any Goblin sealed contract can take place. As I was saying, the Goblin heritage test found that not only does Alysandra have no claim over Victoria, but that the two have no common blood whatsoever.”

Prince Gwydion raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that this woman has been raising a foundling or fosterling?”

“No your grace,” Hermione answered. “If Victoria was a foundling or fosterling, there would be at least custodial bonds tying them. According to the Goblins, Victoria is the child of a Beast kith family that was thought wiped out by shadow courtiers in alliance with Tom Riddle, the man formerly known as Voldemort.”

Alysandra interrupted any further discussion by bolting for the door in an obvious attempt to escape only to be thwarted by Winky’s well timed punch. The Elf quickly had the woman trussed up and kneeling before the Prince and her mistress. 

“Mistress didn’t give you leave to depart,” Winky snapped out before delivering another slap across the woman’s face. “That’s for trying to take my Mousey away, bitch.”

“Your Mousey?” the Prince’s voice was tinged with mirth.

Winky turned to look at the Prince. “I sleep and play with her. She sleeps and plays with me. I took her maidenhead and she buries her face in my muff on a frequent basis. I’m hers and she is mine.”

There was a definite grin threatening to form on the Prince’s face. “And you both belong to Lady Prince.”

“We both serve the Lady Prince,” Winky corrected. “We may have a stronger Servant bond to her than most House elves and other servants to their masters and mistresses, but we are not property. Mistress Hermione has made that abundantly clear. In point of fact, we have days off and salaries. That Mistress Hermione invited us to go with her and her family on a brief holiday only shows that she sees us more as family than anything else. It is been an honor to serve Mistress Hermione, one that I know I look forward to continuing and hope that my Mousey sees the same way.”

Victoria grinned and nodded before adding, “If only we could get her to loosen up about that pesky ‘no sleeping with the staff’ rule she has.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and looked at the Prince. “Do you see what I have to put up with?”

The Prince chuckled and pulled out a small length of vine from his pocket. “Perhaps it is time that we find out just what Alysandra’s plans were.” placing the vine on the Fae woman’s shoulder he held his hand against both the woman’s flesh and the vine before intoning, “{Bound in magic to prevent flight, Now your crimes confess this night. For every second that you resist allows this vine to grow, turn and twist. Until your very last sin unveiled, in my hands your fate is sealed.}”

Alysandra screamed in pain as the vine began digging into her skin. In a matter of seconds the woman was sobbing and screaming out her confession. “She was a child of prophecy! Or at least that’s what Malys thought! I was to raise her for use in a ritual for when we didn’t need Voldemort anymore! So I killed the bitch’s parents and have been twisting her mind so that she would play our tune. Then the fucker gets offed by some magical bobby making all my hard work for nothing!”

“Do you truck with demons in violation of the treaties of Salisbury and Hogsmeade?”

Again the vine seemed to dig further into her skin before she cried out, “Yes! I’m the one who summoned the mephit last year and I have been studying rituals to gain power by sacrificing the little bitch for years. And before you ask it, I kept her out of society so she wouldn’t be missed when I sacrificed her.”

“So you were still going to sacrifice her.”

Alysandra sneered. “Power is power. At least we agreed with Voldemort on that much. Even if she wasn’t a prophecy child, she was still a child of power.”

The Prince was about to lay judgement when he saw a troubled look in Hermione’s eyes. “Something is bothering you?”

Hermione nodded. “The prophecy she speaks of, I know it. It speaks of one with the power to defeat the Dark Lord. Two of my friends were thought to be the subject of the prophecy and we determined that I could have been another due to the vague wording and the meaning of the seventh month in the prophecy. I know that Victoria’s birthday is mid May. the prophecy clearly stated born as the seventh month dies.”

The Prince nodded in understanding. “You would have to take in the gaelic calendar where our seventh month, Giamonios, falls roughly between April and May. Other Calendars would put the date in October, March, June, July, September, and even December depending on whether the term was literal or the name of the month in a certain language. That is the problem with prophecy. It is often so vague as to have no meaning until after it has come to pass.”

“And then only what meaning we place upon it,” Hermione added with a sigh. “Dumbledore and Voldemort thought it was Harry because a non-wizard would be unthinkable in their worldview. Alysandra and this Malys thought it would be a Fae child for similar prejudices. In reality it was all just a bunch of random phrases thrown together by a sherry soaked fraud desperate for employment.” 

Gwydion was about to respond when Alysandra cried out in pain again. Everyone turned to see the vine digging even further into the woman, tearing at her very being. Gwydion simply crouched down in front of Alysandra and smirked. “Well, it looks like our little shadow courtier has more crimes to confess. You might as well confess it all. The vine won’t kill you, just make you wish you were dead. I’m the only one that can let you go now and I’m not about to do that until I know every little thing your traitorous little heart has done.”

***

Dean sat on the corner of the bed sketching Harley’s sleeping form when he heard a light knock on his door. Curious as to who would be disturbing them this late at night as Tracey would just walk in (he was not waiting up for her, thank you very much), Dean got up and answered. What he found on the other side wasn’t something he was expecting.

“Mister Thomas?” asked what appeared to be a silvery-blue cat wearing a tunic and breeches and standing on it’s hind legs he assumed in a pair of black leather boots.

Dean nodded in confusion. “Um, not to sound paranoid, but how the bloody hell did you get here through the wards?”

The cat chuckled and held out a letter. “Cait Shih certified courier. We have many of the charms that post owls have along with an oath we swear to never abuse the privilege. When you simply must ensure the person gets the letter discretely and securely, always trust the Cait.”

“Right.” Dean took the letter and after signing a few forms was soon alone at the doorway. The way the cat simply disappeared without so much as a pop more than unnerved him. He briefly looked down at the letter and even did a few diagnostic charms before cautiously opening the envelope. Inside was a letter and a purple handkerchief. He managed to fish both out with canny spellwork and lay them on the dining room table, once again running a series of diagnostic charms on them before looking at the letter.

Dear Mister Thomas, 

You do not know me but you have done one close to me a great service. In return, I have chosen to bestow my favor on you. I recommend that you not use it lightly for to trifle with a lady’s favor is a sure way to ruin. As it stands, you have my attention and I look forward to seeing the man you become. Do not disappoint me.

Sly as vine lore

Dean blinked and took a closer look at the handkerchief. The monogram was in letters or runes that he wasn’t the least bit familiar with but seemed to tug at some significance at the back of his mind. Putting it away for the moment, he gathered the kerchief and made his way back to his room in time to find Tracey padding down the stairs from the library and Harley sitting up.

Tracey blushed and nervously waved. “I was trying not to wake you.”

Harley snorted and jerked her thumb back to Dean. “He’s been waiting up to make sure you were okay and trying to cover it up by sketching me.”

Dean opened his mouth to protest then thought better of it. “Are you okay?” he asked Tracey as she finished walking down the steps.

“Yeah,” she replied while undressing for bed. “It pretty much went the way I expected. Did you two have fun while I was gone?”

“I got to ogle Tonks’ arse,” Harley quipped. “Of course Dean picked the day to be all serious artist so only a bit of evening fun time. Still one of my better birthdays all things considered.”

Dean and Tracey stared at each other in horrid realization before crying out in unison, “Fuck!”

***

It was nearing three in the morning when Luna and Ginny stepped out of the floo at the Rookery and Luna noticed that the next day’s edition of the Quibbler was already printed and set for shipping out. She glanced at the headline and snickered. “It looks like everyone has been going all out for Harry’s birthday.

Ginny looked at the paper over Luna’s shoulder. “Yuno Hu. Wasn’t that the performance artist that got banned in her home country for indecency?”

Luna nodded. “They took offense at her dry humping the Imperial Palace and licking the Empress. Note the Empress thought it was amusing. It was the courtiers at the time that thought it was offensive. I hear that she’ll be allowed to perform again at her imperial majesty’s fifteenth anniversary next summer.”

“The one you had to buy tickets for a year in advance,” Ginny deadpanned.

Luna shrugged and smiled indifferently. “I’m a fan of performance art and watching my friends get all hot and bothered.”

“You still haven’t said why we needed to get back so soon,” Ginny challenged. “And don’t give me some empty excuse about our friends needing us or Harry’s birthday.”

“Don’t be silly Ginevra. Harry doesn’t even celebrate Harry’s birthday and Neville won’t be back until the day after tomorrow.”

“So why are we back here?”

“Two reasons,” Luna breezily declared as she held up her hands counting them off. “First, I want to be in country when Dumbledore gets his just desserts for trying to ruin all our lives.”

Ginny nodded back and forth a bit before agreeing. “Fair point. I want to see him get his comeuppance as well. And the second?”

“We had spent enough time distracting the Solificati so Hermione could rest up and heal from her injuries. As they would see me, a Pureblood head of a major newspaper, as the more valuable of Harry’s sisters it would draw their attention away from the recuperating Hermione even though we were in very high profile areas making attacking us more difficult. US being out of the country was more about damage control than anything else.”

Ginny noticed a file with a note from “Parker” to read immediately upon return. “You sure about that?” Ginny asked as she held it up to get Luna’s attention.

Luna pulled the file out of her bodyguard/lover’s hand with some petulence and began to read. Petulence turned to surprise and then a groan of annoyance mixed with a little irritation. This was followed by her walking over to the nearest wall and slowly pounding her head against it.

Ginny calmly walked over and stopped her lover before she could do permanent damage. “I take it plan b was a bit more effective than expected.”

Luna glared at Ginny. “New rule: No one named Potter is allowed to make or implement any plans from here on. Ever.”

“Wouldn’t that just be Harry at this point? Possibly Katie if she lost her mind and decided waiting for graduation was for suckers.”

Luna slapped the file into Ginny’s chest and growled out, “See for yourself.”

Ginny blinked and opened the file and began reading silently. The silence was soon interrupted by snickers which quickly gave way to giggles before Ginny collapsed into a uncontrollable ball of mirth. “Hee hee...Hermione’s a Prince...Ho ho...Dean’s living in a brothel...Ha ha...You have another sister...Hee hee...Who’s fucking Dean!” 

Luna watched the display in annoyance for a couple minutes before rolling her eyes in exasperation and heading up to bed. She briefly thought about taking out her displeasure on Ginny’s arse, but quickly realized that Ginny wouldn’t be able to stop giggling thus making the whole experience unsatisfying for either of them at the moment. Even more frustrating was that the one man she would possibly consider letting have his way with her was now getting more arse than any of them...well maybe not Hermione.

Some days it just didn’t pay to chew through the straps.

***

Hermione tried not to squirm as she watched the vine seemingly consume the Fae woman. She more than once had to remind herself that the Fae were not actually human and had their own rules and laws. She also had to remind herself that this woman wanted her dead and those she had taken responsibility for under her control. Still, watching the vine methodically work its way through the woman’s system and making her confess all her sins in the most painful ways possible was not something she would ever wish to experience.

Alysandra looked more plant than person now as the sun was most likely breaking the horizon. The vacant lifeless gaze seemed to match the dead tone of her voice as she confessed the last of her crimes. The litany had gone on for more than two hours once she quit resisting. It had turned out that one of the most vicious members of the Shadow Courtiers loyal to this being known as Malys had been discovered by mere happenstance. 

She was a rapist and murderess with a list of atrocities that would make Bellatrix Lestrange look like a choir girl by comparison. Still, the horror that had been visited upon this being bred some compassion in Hermione’s heart. No one deserved to die like this or worse live while this was done to them. Hermione was regretting her missive to the Summer court with each passing moment.

As if by some unseen signal, Alysandra stopped reciting her crimes and looked on vacantly. Gwydion stood and regarded the now twisted form of his fellow Fae before turning to face Hermione. “It is done. She has confessed all her crimes and now it falls on me as Protector of Albion to pass judgement.”

“Hasn’t she suffered enough!” Hermione snapped out. “Haven’t you done enough by stripping her of her sanity and her sentience! Is Fae justice such that every sin must be redressed! No wonder Wizards signed the compact! I would be terrified to have to go through that abomination!”

Whatever Hermione expected of Gwydion, it was not what he did. Instead of lashing back or chastising her, he merely stood in stoic silence until she finished. “You are correct that our ways are not for wizard kind.” he stated once she was done. “Our ways are as cruel and kind as nature herself. We are beings of primal power and ancient elemental forces.” He waved his hand back towards Alysandra's broken form. “She was absolute in her conviction that humanity was beneath her and that the crimes she had committed were of no consequence in the greater achievement of her goals. What would you have done?”

“Sent her to prison,” Hermione answered. “Try to rehabilitate her. Make her see the error of her ways.”

“Would you also change the tide to suit your morality? Perhaps imprison the Wildfire until it sees the error of its way. Stand an Avalanche in the corner for what it’s done wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!” Hermione shouted.

“No Hermione,” Roxie said quietly as she put a hand on her lover’s shoulder, “He’s really not.”

Gwydion shook his head in exasperation. “If for nothing else, Albus Dumbledore should be conscribed to a million hells for what he’s done to the education system in this country. You see my dear, Fae, true Fae such as myself and Alysandra, do not have the fickle mercurial vagaries of conscience and indecision that you mortals possess. When we believe something it is with the fullness of our being. We love without doubt and hate without compassion. We are absolute and unreasoning in our convictions.

“Therefore, our justice must also be just as absolute and unreasoning as we are ourselves. How else to forestall a tidal wave than by a breakwall. How does one stop a forest fire without snuffing it out? I do not do this because I want to. In truth, until I discovered her true allegiances I considered Alysandra a paramour of some regard. There is part of me that loves her and will miss her. Yet she broke our laws and now must pay the price.” Gwydion looked upon the mass that was once Alysandra again before reaching down and pulling a ball of energy from her. 

“She has tainted the magic of our kind with the taint of forbidden magic. Such a taint can not be washed away by the blood of Fae.” He turned and held out his hand to Hermione. “I offer this, her magic, to you so that through use by your mortal hands it may be cleansed and returned to Mother Earth.”

Hermione looked at the ball of energy in Gwydion’s hand before looking at Roxie. “What do I do?”

Roxie bit her lip then nodded towards the ball of magic. “Take it Hermione. Do some good with what she squandered. Use it to protect others like Victoria.”

Hermione turned back to look at Gwydion. “I only take this to protect others and not for my own benefit. If there was another option I would much rather you gave it unto them.”

Gwydion smiled and placed the ball of magic in Hermione’s hands. “It is for that reason that you are the correct choice.” He turned and shrank the remainder of Alysandra into something more manageable and placed her in his pocket. “I will return this eve to collect yourself and Victoria for the Lunasa celebration so that you may be properly presented to Queen Viviane of the Summer Court.”

Hermione blinked as the ball of energy slowly absorbed into her very being. “Um thank you, but that’s hardly necessary.” 

“But it is,” Gwydion said with absolute certainty. “Victoria is long overdue to be presented to court and you are now of the Fae though not Fae yourself. Moreso as Victoria’s guardian you will be required to be there to present her. Now, by your leave I must find a proper place to place Alysandra as a proper warning to all who would commit her crimes.”

Hermione watched the man leave before turning to Roxie. “What mess have I gotten myself into now?”

Roxie shrugged and looked more than a little concerned. “The Shadow Courts are pretty nasty business, but that’s more they will be aware of your existence than them being a new enemy as they pretty much universally hate all humans. Queen Viviane from what I remember of my lessons is rather pro Human and pro compact, so she will likely just thank you for your service to the court and offer some legal protection from any Fae who wish to take exception. On a scale of one to Potter, I’d say you hit a good solid Longbottom.”

“I’m sure that sounded much more comforting in your head.”

***

“You’re finally awake.”

“*Yawn* What time is it?”

“Just after five in the morning.”

“That’s not so bad.”

“On August first.”

“Okay, so I may have miscalculated a bit.”

“A bit?”

“Okay, a lot. So how bad are things?”

“Actually a lot better than expected. And more than a bit weirder.”

“I take it that I have you to thank for me not dying while I was out.”

“Among others.”

“So how goes the war?”

“It’s over.”

“Really?”

“Tom is gone. Snape’s a gibbering vegetable and Dumbledore is about to be completely ruined.”

“What about everyone else?”

“All you need to know is that they’re all fine for now. We can worry about the details later.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. Now we need to get you back in bed.”

“Why? I feel fine.”

“Because you owe me a massively good fucking for all the shit I’ve had to put up with while you’ve been impersonating sleeping beauty, mister. It is now officially past time for you to pay up, so get to work.”

“Yes Ma’am.”


End file.
